P is for Preposterous

When I was carrying Sassy, Sissy was in the first grade. Sissy came home from school and told me she knew how that baby got in there and how disgusting she thought it was.Β She said a boy at school told her how babies are made and she could not believe I let Daddy do that to me.
I was intrigued, as you are now, I’m sure.

Sissy was forthright in saying that babies are made when the daddy pees into the mommy’s butt.

baby-n-shock

I assured her that no such thing had happened.
I cannot express to you how important it is to answer small people sex questions with the least amount of information possible, but let this serve as a warning, the devil is in the details.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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31 Responses to P is for Preposterous

  1. Ha Ha! No wonder she was appalled at you! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know I shouldn’t do but I couldn’t stop myself laughing. It’s funny how small inaccuracies can change an event from something quite beautiful into something else entirely, and I agree. As far as possible answer a straight question with a straight answer, and keep the drama out of it

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We went with the purely scientific. We added details as she got older. She is now 9 and walks around saying things like,”Well, her eggs were fertilised twice!”. You can’t win.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. redosue says:

    When I explained to my kids how babies were made, saying the daddy puts his penis in the mommy, the 3 year old started laughing hysterically and asked did daddy snap it off so it could go in? Yes, the details can bedevil you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sherry says:

    hehee, well, yeah, I guess that little guy got it pretty darn wrong…one can but imagine what he actually heard…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  6. shanjeniah says:

    We also went for the scientific approach; but we never tried to give a minimum of information. We gave as much as they could understand, beginning when they were young toddlers.

    Children (well, all humans) want to understand things. When they don’t have enough information, they make things up that seem to make sense. The little boy’s explanation wasn’t really any different than the gods on Olympus, in that sense.

    We gave them the information – basic mechanics and biology. We didn’t hide the pregnancy book, but let our toddler son look freely whenever he wanted. He was so fascinated by the breech birth (“backards baby’), that the book would automatically turn to that page when opened.

    The result? The kids are now 13.5 and almost 11. I’m not nervous about having “the talk” with them, because there’s no need. We’ve been having it all along, in bits and pieces with the rest of life. These days, the topics are more specific and serious; birth control, STDs, the cost of raising a baby, mutual respect, masturbation…the stuff they’ll need to know, in the next few years.

    If either of my kids had heard what the little boy said, at age 6, they would undoubtedly have given him an impromptu sex-ed lesson! =O

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion says:

    Good answer. That must have stood you back a step though. The scary thing is that someday, that little boy will be able to vote.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes. No need to over-explain, children are often satisfied with the barest of details if presented matter-of-factly. Did you burst out laughing when she came out with that? Incidentally, I remember thinking of my parents how gross it was that they evidently done this FIVE times as I counted my siblings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha!
      I think the funniest part, which I did not mention, was when my son, two years older, immediately lost interest in his cartoon and left the room!
      Yes, I did laugh. After. When it settled in! Initially it was just so startling!
      “Fun stuff to tell Daddy when he gets home!” πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  9. hollie says:

    Owen asked me how babies came out of the doctors don’t cut the mommy’ tummy (because his stepmom has a C-section scar and I do not.) Since he was only in kindergarten I said, well, what do you think? He said “I think you cough em up.”

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Sammy D. says:

    Well you gotta admit that IS pretty disgusting 😍

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Veronica says:

    I laughed so hard! I explained it in bits and pieces as well. K asks and I answer to a degree. I don’t give her any more than she needs or asks. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  12. markbialczak says:

    This is why the parental, “Yeah, no, sort of, not exactly, go ask (other parent),” was invented, Joey. Egads.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Anxious Mom says:

    Hahaha!

    We told my son (who was in 5K when I was carrying the little one) about the eggs being fertilized and whatnot. Fortunately he didn’t ask how the “fertilizer” got in there. When he wanted to know how the baby got out, I kinda blanked…fortunately I had a c-section, which he was absolutely fascinated by, and that covered that.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. lisajsmi says:

    When my daughter was in kindergarten she came running to the car with the most joyful look on her face. She was 5 and beside herself with excitement. She yelled, “I know what sex is! I know what sex is!” I took a deep breath, composed myself and said, “Tell me about it.” She happily stated that “Sex is whether you were a boy or a girl and I am a girl!” What a smart kindergarten teacher she had! =)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. This is adorable and also very touching. Like you I prefer less to more when it comes to complex issues with little kids. But truth is also better that terrible lies, right? As for me I was told that babies came out through the belly button and that it opened specially for the occasion. I was quite frightened to tell you the truth and although the real way is also somehow troubling to discover when we are little, it made more sense to me when I finally learned the real truth. Great post, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You touched on something I think is crucial, which is that, yes, for many little ones, the truth is VERY disturbing. Best to set the scene with what they can handle at the time. Thanks so much for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Susan says:

    Oh, wow…were you able to keep a straight face? My daughter is now 25 – I can’t honestly remember what I told her, only recall that a 10 year old girlfriend got to her first, and left me to fill in the blanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. LOL I didn’t even know that! Spare me the details. ;o)

    Like

  18. OMG too cute! Made me laugh out loud!

    Like

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