So Embarrassing

It’s summer vacation, so I seldom know what day it is, but a couple or three or four days ago, The Mister and Sassy ran out to buy vanilla extract, to pick up some things on hold from the library, and to stop by a Redbox.

When they arrived home, they came into the kitchen to tell me they’d borrowed Fifty Shades of Grey. My husband stood with one hand behind his back. My face burned with embarrassment.
“No. No way,” I shook my head.
“But Baby, I just gotta see it! It’s killin me that I haven’t seen it,” he said.
“Oh my God, I am completely embarrassed to be married to you! I should be ashamed! You should be ashamed! Puttin money into her pocket when she cannot write is such a slap in the face to those of us who can. It’s just, omalord, do you really need to know?”
I leaned on him and gripped his shirt in my fists.
“I shoulda made you read the excerpts. You really should read more books, better books, because then you would know.” I rolled my head back and forth across his chest to release my denial, “No no no no no,” and then paused to reflect on how hitting isn’t nice and I should use my words.
I went back to cooking.
I faced my skillet and hollered long and loud about butt plug training and the unending conversations with her subconscious brain before turning back to him.
“Seriously. I’m so disappointed in you.”

“Baby, why is your face so red? Aren’t you even a little curious?”
“I am so embarrassed to be married to you right now.”

Then he laughed and laughed, Sassy laughed and laughed, and after a lot of their laughing and jumping up and down and knee slapping and hi-fiving, I realized they were teasing me.

“And THAT’S how you pull a prank!” The Mister shouted to Sassy.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll relate the story of how The Mister’s father taught him to lie to his mother, too.

My post was inspired by this post, written by the great Isabella Morgan.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to So Embarrassing

  1. garym6059 says:

    I like the hubs already, that was hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Benson says:

    Well kiddo;that was pretty funny. The only thing better would have been that it were filmed and put on AFV. Now that would surpass the Shades thing altogether.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. All I can say is, he’s lucky to be married to such a forgiving wife. hehehe
    Thanks for the ping-back and the kind mention, my dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Did not see that coming. But I have to admit, I am relieved on your behalf!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Purpleanais says:

    Haha, so funny, you reacted exactly like I would have 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hahaha it is always fun to tease those whom we love. 😀
    Truly enjoyed reading it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion says:

    That’s so funny – I’m glad they got that passed you. Sassy will remember that forever.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sammy D. says:

    Score !!!! Can’t wait to see what you cook up for payback.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. hollie says:

    That’s awesome!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Anxious Mom says:

    Hahahaha! I’m not sure which I like more–the prank or your reaction.

    So many people keep telling me how great these books are. I’ve read an excerpt and just no. It’s one of those books that gives me inspiration as an aspiring writer (well, I aspire to be an aspiring writer anyway).

    Liked by 2 people

  11. redosue says:

    Thank gawd it was a joke. And I think you were perfectly reasonable in your hauteur. Your hub is a funny dude, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Carrie Rubin says:

    Haha, glad to see my husband and kids aren’t the only ones who like to torment their wife/mother. Mine do this all the time too–tell me something just to get me riled up. Then they admit they were kidding. Grr. I’ll get them back. Some day…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. baldjake70 says:

    It took me two seconds to cook up the story, and less than that to get Sassy to go along with it. She was all smiles at the idea of it! She played her part to a T!


  14. ouidepuis1 says:

    Hahahaha!!! I am totally feeling for you though. It is… painful. And that’s being kind.


  15. jetgirlcos says:

    Oh dear! That’s mean! Hilarious, but mean 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Prajakta says:

    *makes quick notes* Thanks 😀 I will be right back. It is the weekend, perfection!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: How The Mister Learned to Lie | joeyfullystated

  18. Now that was funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Oh I love a good prank, well as long as it is not at my expense! Well done to the Mister and Sassy! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. reocochran says:

    First of all, Joey, this caused me to feel bad for you. Then, since I agree, the author of this series doesn’t deserve so many freaking readers, I felt bad they chose this over good movies at redbox. Finally, having read the more recent post about how Mister was taught to prank (or lie), I could finally laugh out loud. I wrote a post about the “50 shades” series of books and then, updated it to include the movie. After working at a battered womens shelter for 2 years, makes me leery of any use of “control” during sex.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.