I debated doing a One-Liner today, cause you know, I almost always do One-Liner Wednesday.
Is “Well, fuuuuck,” a worthy One-Liner? Nah?
I don’t have organized thoughts right now. I may or may not make sense, but then, you’re accustomed to that, hm? I’ve been feeling poorly since I woke up Monday. Started out with the cold achies, then it turned to achy with fever and weird dry gasping cough. As you can imagine, this has been AWESOME for my anxiety disorder. More herbal tea, please.
In terms of productivity, I voted, I chopped onions for soup, I took the girls to orchestra rehearsal. Beyond that, I’ve been down, in and out of sleep and sick. The rest of my family is picking up my slack. Even Bubba’s pickin up Moo from afters.
I want orange juice and honey and Moo is almost out of milk (!!!) I should have asked The Mister for those things yesterday, but I forgot. But now I’m thirsty again, so I remember. I should text him, but my phone is way over there. He may read this at lunch and pick some up. I have plenty of room in the fridge if any of you are motivated. You’ll have to ring the bell and leave it on the porch, because well, if you don’t know sick me…
Here’s a Control V of my FB status yesterday. I don’t know how to open Paint in this laptop so screen capture didn’t help. I could ask Ms. Laptop, but she’d probably only piss me off. She doesn’t know me. She’s always telling me to ask her to call Violet and I don’t even know Violet. She reminds me she can find music I don’t listen to or sports scores I don’t care about. So yeah, Control V.
i’m sick. like, fever broke at 4 and came back sometime around 9.
anyway, i’ve hydrated and slept. i managed to get to the kitchen, open a bottle of gatorade, AND peel an orange all by myself. obviously that wore me out, so i went back to sleep.
BING-BONG
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK
some lady with at&t and directv bag.
i open the door.
i do not open the storm door.
she ask me how i am.
*standing there with light-socket, sweat-soaked, poodle hair and stained long underwear* i dunno what my face looks like, but i can tell you i didn’t wash my face last night because delirium does not care about eyeliner.
i say “sick.” she dunno me, i could look like this every day for all she know.
she say she sorry i’m sick and then start her sales pitch. gonna sell me service i have for three times the price. oh boy.
IS IT ME OR SHOULD SHE LOOK FOR THE DIRECTV SATELLITE BEFORE SHE RINGS THE BELL?!?
i cut her off, “no thank you. i have recently renegotiated my directv pricing and i don’t want at&t. at&t suuuucks. people who have at&t come to my house to download.”
she looks at me like I’M rude. like she invent the at&t. like i’m standin on her front porch, botherin her sick ass. i think about opening the storm door and coughing on her. maybe licking her face.
i wave goodbye to her, shut the door.
shoulda invited her in, feigned interest, asked her to heat up some soup for me, THEN coughed on her. i see that now.
So yeah, just drop the goods and run.
Another possible One-Liner:
Moo came to me, “How is my caterpillar?”
“Hm?”
“You’re like a caterpillar in its cocoon!”
“Heh.”
“Maybe you’ll become a beautiful butterfly!”
Yes, I’m sure I will emerge as a beautiful butterfly. The resemblance is uncanny, Moo.
This morning was hard, because sick and cold and Diva Furnace and you know, the impending apocalypse or whatever. I want the results to be fever dream, but the people have spoken. The sheer number of them rings a bell in my sternum, like oh the mindset of our country is much worse than i had expected…so many angry, fearful people…
I am a blue girl in a red state. I am no stranger to feeling odd. My county went blue, and I’ll count that as a victory.
People are talking about who to blame, or what could have been done differently. I see all those points. Still I’m just not into shoulda, coulda, woulda. This happened. This is reality.
The Mister is not terrified or surprised, which is somewhat comforting, and somewhat concerning, cause he is regularly brave and you can only trust the brave so much, always doing crazy brave things. He works in finance, so his day should be busy, interesting. Later he will go to his history classes where I’m sure his professors will be wearing black armbands.
Speculation abounds, and I’m not into that, either. I reckon not enough of America is familiar with the behavior of narcissists. Or maybe they are. Maybe they love a good nuclear winter. I dunno.
I’ve got more than my own share of worries and it does no good to dwell on the possible atrocities beyond the current situation. I mean, I can’t think about stuff that’s months away when I need orange juice right now.
To my fellow head shakers, to those who are heartbroken, devastated, terrified, ashamed, shocked — Let me remind you, we still outnumber them. More people voted against this outcome than for it. This country ain’t gettin white prouder or straighter or more backwoods religious and women still outnumber men.
Remember that progress, even when slow, is inevitable.
I’ve seen a lot of people kicking and screaming the last eight years and I believe this is their last ditch effort to hang on to their concept of America.
We must continue to move forward. We must continue to fight against inequality and fight for inclusion.
The world is still a beautiful place and people (most people) are still really good at heart.
For me, the hardest part of this was breaking the news to my girls this morning. Sassy asked me what happened. I can’t explain it. “Be kind. Love people harder. I love you.”
Well said my dear.
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Thank you. Milk? Honey? Orange juice?
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Let me remind you, we still outnumber them. More people voted against this outcome than for it.
Word. That’s where the truth and the hope is. All is not lost, just sidelined for a while.
Hope you’re feeling better soon, my poor little butterfly to be.
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Haha, thanks, I really hope I emerge quickly and beautifully 🙂
I’m glad you can keep hope as well.
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Hope they enjoy “their” America while it lasts…
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I strongly suspect they will be disappointed, but I’ve done my part.
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I’ve done nothing but cry all morning. I haven’t turned the TV on once and yet under normal circumstances it runs (mostly for the noise) from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep at night.
I cannot even. It’s too much. I don’t know how to.
Who the hell are these people in this country who did this?
On another note, I’m so sorry you’re feeling so sick. I hope you get better real quick.
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I understand. I noticed an email from my church today, open for prayer and reflection. May as well hold a funeral for “the inherent worth and dignity of all people.” Ugh.
Thank you. If I can not run a fever today, that’d be great.
Sadie keeps running to me every time I cough and it’s freakin me out.
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Fingers crossed no fever. And I get it with Sadie, my first dog was like that. Cough or sneeze, she’d be running right to us. We think it was because her previous owner was elderly, got sick and died… 😦
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Oh that’s awful. Also, familiar. I don’t know enough about my dog’s pre-rescue past.
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The information we got on our first dog was rumor/heresay. They found her in the cemetery supposedly at her owner’s grave, we were told. Who knows if it was true, but for sure she always seemed to panic/get upset when either Hub or I coughed or sneezed. Sad.
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That is heartbreaking, if true. I got Sadie from a woman maybe a bit younger than me, and she did live with her father, so your theory is totally possible for her as well.
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😦
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I believe all at my church are deeply troubled right now. Our country has thrown “inherent worth and dignity” out the window. I wonder if there are UU churches in South America.
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I looked it up quick and definitely yes, in Argentina.
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Wow. I didn’t know they were so progressive. Thank you for the info.
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Pleasure 🙂
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Get well soon, Joey.
As for the rest of it, I have no words.
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Thanks 🙂
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Sending all sorts of healing and love to you. Even sick you make me laugh with your sarcasm and wit, and my active imagination can picture the scenes as you describe them so well.
I too shake my head at the direction America has gone, but hold out for the thought that love and tolerance will prevail. Time will tell
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Thank you ❤
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Just….. ………
Nah. Got nothing.
Oh, sorry from Slovenia for the First Lady. Now Slovenians will learn how it feels to be stereotyped like they do it to Americans.
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Yes, I am intrigued by the irony of her ‘platform.’
On behalf of Indiana, I apologize for Pence. We didn’t want him and now everyone will suffer.
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Sending you hugs and virtual OJ, Joey. Just getting over being sick myself and it’s not fun.
janet
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Thanks, Janet. I enjoy virtual hugs and OJ 🙂
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Hope you feel better soon. ~ From another blue girl living in a state of red…
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Thanks 🙂
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Hope you are soon feeling better you poor little caterpillar! 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Bless your heart, I hope you feel better. ❤
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Thank you 🙂
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Those of us who are sensitive to shit, it totally makes sense why you’re sick *get better soon*. I don’t even live in the States but last night around 6pm I developed a mystery reaction akin to an allergic reaction, my eyes started watering and got super itchy and my nose was all runny and then stuffed up and I felt super irritable. I knew, from my reaction, that I was reacting like an animal reacts to an impending storm. It’s the ions. You and I, we are sensitive to the ions and the fuckery of the whole Trump winning thing.
In the elevator this morning I blurted out to a young Indian couple (from India) “So Trump won eh?! Can you believe it?” and the husband said “Americans are stupid. They have no idea what they’ve done.”
Americans like you who want to live in peace in an inclusive environment are not stupid, you have vision. You’re visionaries.
I hope when you come out of your cocoon (blanket) that you continue to see the good around you.
Btw, I love that Hillary procrastinated in giving her concession speech. Procrastination as civil disobedience and dissent. I love it!!
XX
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I’d normally buy into your ionic theory, absolutely, except Mentor, who is conservative has also come down with this nasty flu thing as well.
Seems she is a day or so behind me with her ills.
It does paint us with that whole “Ugly American” thing, doesn’t it? I cannot imagine what people expect to gain from this.
I will always cling to hope. xx
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Yes, let’s all cling to hope (hugs).
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Feel better joey.
My feelings on this are best not spoken out loud. Or written.
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Less of a nihilist than you used to be. I can tell. ❤
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I’m sick to my stomach today. I knew it was going to be close, but I never imagined he would win.
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Me neither. Truly.
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Always have hope, even when it seems hopeless! Hugs from Canada…
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Will do, thanks! *hugs*
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Sorry you’re sick. Next time lick her face. Or better yet plant a big ol’ French kiss right on her mouth. It might make you feel better.
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Although she was clean, I didn’t find her particularly attractive, and as you could surely guess, there is to be no extra-marital French kissing.
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Be well, Miss Butterfly. I’d like to hide away in a cocoon too. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you all who live to the south. I’m pretty much speechless.
Our Prime Minister wrote a congratulatory note saying he looks forward to working along side the winner. It was probably written before he knew whose name would end up behind “President-elect.” *sigh*
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Thank you.
I find it odd, yet inspiring how many people can bite their tongues and put aside their differences, trying to make nice, as though this same courtesy, this same behavior will be given in return.
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Thing is, the opposite is more of a truth. Make nasty, we’re more likely to be treated in kind. Which is why we need to keep trying.
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Your optimism is now placed in the inspiring column.
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😀
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Feel better soon Joey. As for the rest, no words….
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Thank you 🙂
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Nicely articulated, I’m sure it’s what an awful lot of people are feeling. Rhonda is in shock, genuinely disgusted and appalled, and she isn’t even over there any more.
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I can imagine her feelings. I wonder if she feels she has escaped a burning house?
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I would say that is a perfect analogy.
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Hope you feel better soon. I’m finally about over whatever it was I had. You’ll be back to 100% in no time. 🙂 xo
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Thank you, I hope so. It’s slow goin.
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I’m going to count this as a one-liner Wednesday post so I won’t have the longest one anymore. Nicely written. I hope you emerge from the cocoon soon.
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Hah, you would like that, wouldn’t you? Thank you 🙂
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It’s great you and your followers have the energy and verve to write! Good to hear from you, you funny woman!
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Couldn’t read the whole thing (full disclosure) because politics…. I hope you feel better. I love the fact that everyone is pitching in for you. Get someone to check your porch, may you receive gifts!
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The Mister came home early with the goods, thank heavens. Yes, I do feel better, thanks 🙂
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Also, I am in the midst of writing a butterfly memorphasis piece. It is taking time.
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🙂
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Feel better, Joey. Yes, the world is still a beautiful place. Except for that idiot AT&T lady. I bet you messed up her script by actually responding to her, “How are you.?” To which the proper response is always, “How in the hell does it look like I am?” Slam door. Nicely played, girl.
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Hope you are feeling better Joey. At least with the election over no more Mike Pence as governor :). Not sure about the new guy as I actually thought Gregg would win. The loud scream you heard Tuesday night wasn’t from me getting poked in the eye with a sharp object, it was Miss Madison utterly devastated that Ritz got beat as school superintendent. I’m not a public education expert, but she is and she deeply disturbed by the direction our education is going in this state. If maybe one of the big dogs running for office would have poked their head around after the primaries were over some of the down ballot folks might have gotten a little more support at the polls.
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I thought Gregg would win, too. 😦
You know, as much as I despise the crazy ass opinions of Mike Pence, I have more respect for him than
Be sure to let Miss Madison know that I voted for Glenda Ritz and that I signed her petition a few years back. I, too, was deeply disappointed. I am fearful for the direction of our education system as well, and am glad my kids are older, than say, your lot.
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Mine is in Kentucky’s educational system…ugh. Miss Madison’s though I hear ya! Living in a rural school district compared to were I’m from and living with a teacher has opened my eyes up quite a bit on public education in this state. Rural districts get screwed!
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Yeah. I’m sorry. I know a few graduates of Lousiville Public Schools, and they’re FINE, so you know it’s more than the schools…I mean, she has YOU and Miss Madison, so…
Yes. I have always known this about the rural schools. The money isn’t there, and when it is, it’s allocated to sports facilities and programs to generate more money — for sports facilities and programs.
Everyone hates socialism, but the answer, I’m afraid, is to put all education revenue in a big pot and divide it equally on a per student basis. Even in states where only a % of it is based on that model, the students and teachers have much improved resources.
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I could live with Louisville public schools but she’s out there in the hollars. The school she is in now is so freaking dumbed down she’s literally learning shit in the 4th grade that she aced in the second grade! You and Miss Madison have to meet :), I have a feeling you two could go on for days bouncing ideas off of each other :).
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I look forward to meeting you both.
Get Sloan some enrichments. Your gal can hook you up.
When we first moved home, we lived with The Mister’s parents in Warren Township and they were far behind Dept of Defense schools. I went over to Art & Education and bought supplemental workbooks. There are some online places too, Starfall I remember, for math. Fortunately, we only stayed there three months before summer break.
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Of course you are a butterfly! She got it right… Sitting in India, my friend and I were horrified at the outcome. i still am and unfortunately I am not able to stay away from the news. Whew… All I can say is – Hope and Love will trump the fear. I am liking the safety-pin movement although I am not sure how long it will go on.
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I like the safety pin idea too. I hope it takes off.
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Thoughtful and insightful post, but I also liked your one-liner idea. 😉 Hope you’re on the mend soon. Take care! 🙂 🌻
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