Yesterday, I took the girls to Fantastic Sam’s to get their hairs cut. We go to Fantastic Sam’s because it’s close, and because we like the stylist, Jeff.
We weren’t looking for Jeff, but we’re sure glad we found him. Beauty Queen is our preferred stylist, but we miss when she lived right next door.
My girls are like me and plenty of other people who grow out their hair and then cut it off in a predictable cycle, “Well, I’ve had long hair for over a year now, spring is coming…” CHOP! Sassy had over a foot chopped off yesterday.
But anyway, last spring, Moo decided she wanted to chop off all her hair and so on a late Monday morning, we walked into a major chain that advertises quick, convenient and affordable haircuts. I’d been to one several times before; you walk in, you sign in, you wait, you get served, you leave.
That’s how it’s supposed to go down. This is how it went down:
“My daughter would like her hair cut,” I pointed to Moo.
“Do you have an appointment?”
“We’re all booked up right now.”
“Oh, okay. We can come back later. Do you have anything maybe after four?”
“You’ll need to go online to make an appointment.”
I stared blankly at her.
She repeated herself, “You can go online and make an appointment.”
“I can’t make an appointment while we’re standing here?”
“You can, but online.”
I aimed for clarity, “You cannot schedule the appointment?”
“And if I went outside, called you about a haircut this evening, you would…?”
“I’d tell you to go online and make an appointment.”
“But we cannot schedule an appointment while we’re both here, in the salon, and you with your appointment computer right in front of you?”
I thought I was on Candid Camera or somethin.
“Well that is just absurd!”
I looked around the waiting room. It was full of men. My husband shrugged and a stranger man shrugged, and I was all, fuckin really? is this actually happening?
So we left there.
Once I was back in the car, I struggled to remember where any other haircut places are. Beauty Queen has cut our hair for so many years, and we’d been in Georgia for seven years, so I was really struggling to think of any. “There used to be a Fantastic Sam’s in the mall. In like, 1986. That’s still a place, right?” The Mister did not know.
I got online and found the number to Fantastic Sam’s. I called. They are no longer in the mall, but still very close. Jeff said, “Ten minutes! Come on over!”
I noticed the other day, there’s another location, same exact major haircut chain over by our dry cleaners. There’s a huge sign out front that reads, “WALK RIGHT IN.” I swung by there today just to snap this photo.
There is no fine print on the bottom of the sign, but what they really mean is “Walk in, leave logic at the door.”
I can’t imagine why they’re not getting much business over there.
Have you ever had such a strange experience with a clerk? Do you think she was deranged?