On Shitstorms

It’s easy to see that life is long and hard. That’s a matter of perspective everyone can relate to, especially when one is deep and heavy into a shitstorm. Even those people for whom things are going well can see the shitstorms of others and remember their own.

Remember when that shit happened to you, and it was super shitty and you thought you’d never get through that shit?
The pain, the betrayal, the injustice, the loss?
Yeah, me too.

Can you believe we made it through that?!

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We can’t see the end of the shitstorms. We can’t tell how bad they’re going to get, or how long they’re going to last. Never, ever, never ever ever ask what else can go wrong, because you will be shown.

I have begun to realize there are signs of the shitstorm’s impending doom. I’m not sure about y’all, but I do better in the actual shitstorm than I do waiting for it. This is why, like all expert level anxiety sufferers, I constantly wait for shitstorms, and other things that do not make sense.

What I want to do is run for the hills, close-up shop, and wait for them to pass. Running is my first instinct.
This is extremely ineffective, by the way. I was four when I learned that hiding away wouldn’t make it go any faster. I studied the legs of the dining table, a dark laminate, very Mid-Century, with brass feet. Had it been twice as big and made of solid wood, it would not have been able to prevent my parents’ divorce or to keep me from hearing their argument.

For most of my life, I’ve tried pretending shitstorms weren’t there. Denial is a happy place. It’s one of my favorite places. Denial can be aided greatly by distance. Distance also being one of my favorites. There’s nothing like not answering the phone or moving 800 miles away and then not answering the phone.
For that matter, even if you do pick up the phone, most people don’t even want to talk about the shitstorms. They like to pretend, too. Sometimes they like the distance, too, even when they pretend they don’t.
Oh how exhausting. So exhausting to play nice-nice…


‘They’ say people like me have a door-slam tendency, but I’ve always thought of it like a faucet. If you run too hot or too cold, I’ll shut you off like a faucet. I’ll get my distance, dammit.

For some time in my younger years, I developed a nasty aggressive disposition for facing the shitstorms head-on. I can still do that, as needed. I don’t like to do it. It’s forced and unnatural, but if I have to confront shit, I can do it with ferocity and most importantly, without tact.
And not a single feeling was spared that day…

For about a decade in adulthood, I developed a deep understanding of muddling through shitstorms. Muddling through is also exhausting, but there is a certain power in maintaining momentum. There is this sorta idea that if you’re a tornado, and never stop moving, then the shitstorms can’t touch you. I muddled through one thing after another until my brain got plumb tuckered out.

So, what other choices are there?

The clichés.

“Let go and let God.”
“Be in the now.”
“Worry won’t change the outcome.”
“Dawn will come.”
“This too shall pass.”
“You can’t see it now, but it’s for the best.”
“It’s God’s will.”

Mind you, all those clichés offer the path of least resistance. Shitstorms can’t wear you out, because you’re passive in the matter.
What gems.
Sounds too simple, doesn’t it? And don’t you have some personal responsibility in the shitstorms of your life? Surely riding it out makes you a coward…

Desiderata and Serenity Prayer-ish stuff do help, but I feel like I need more.

There’s certainly truth in bad things being the best, but usually we don’t see that for a long time after.
I like the little fortune teller on Animal Crossing…


This one’s really good. I love this one.


And then one day some wisdom came to me. Someone wrote it, someone said it, somehow it got into my brain and my brain was changed forever.

As soon as this information hit my brain, I recognized its truth.


I am the motherfucking sky.
Be the sky.

What’s your truth and wisdom on shitstorms?


About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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39 Responses to On Shitstorms

  1. I don’t know maybe, “The best weapon against a shitstorm is another shitstorm.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. orbthefirst says:

    I run. But then sometimes I think its to gain momentum on my way back.
    And sometimes im all

    “SAY WHAT AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER!” All with the furious angers and such.

    Im complicated. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your perspective and how you just speak truth about a topic. It’s refreshing…and funny. We’ve all been there…I personally love the combination of denial and distance–it works. As for the quote about the sky, you pretty much nailed it. Shitstorms come and go, but the sky is unaffected and calm. I like it. A great tip to tuck away for the next crappy forecast. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jan says:

    It’s God’s will that I don’t have any wisdom but this too shall pass and it’s for the best.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Dan Antion says:

    I feel like I should offer up a whole pile of advice, but you seem to have a handle on this. Besides, I don’t understand this the way you do, do my advice would be useless. I like that you can put this all out here. Maybe that comes with being the sky 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sherry says:

    My favorite line…Nobody ever promised you a rose garden….shit happens…suck it up…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I like Forest Gump’s attitude, Joey, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edmqTODMZC4 😉


  8. Luanne says:

    But it’s like my favorite Japanese tale. You want to be the sky. But once you’re the sky a cloud is gonna cross you and you will get pissed at her audacity. Then you will want to be the cloud…. I usually organize and work through shitstorms. But lately I’ve added wine because it’s more social.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ally Bean says:

    My favorite saying when it comes to people is: Don’t be a pawn in someone else’s game. While this advice may not stop a shitstorm from happening, I find it smart to look at situations from this perspective, and then act accordingly. Truth? Wisdom? Experience? I dunno. It’s just how I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. dalecooper57 says:

    Shitstorms; Fuck ’em.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Benson says:

    Back when I had shitstorms I face them head on. I would fight them as well as I was able. Eventually they will go away. The question is what of you will be left. If it becomes just too shitty or crazy you can always back pack Route 66.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Having had my share, for longer than I can say…my answer is no, I did not die. Survival has its benefits, the best of which is empathy. I’d not trade that away. 💖

    Liked by 2 people

  13. April says:

    I love the ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. larva225 says:

    I love the sky bit. I just grab my shovel. Shit needs to be shoveled and I feel better when I’m doing something, no matter how shitty.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Haha, shit yes! This is well-timed even after a month without the grind. 🙂

    I think you’re forgetting one very popular cliche up there: “Everything happens for a reason.” I heard that from SO many people. I get it, and everyone was just being supportive, but I was like…Are you all in shitstorm cahoots or something? This is unreal.

    I really love that Taplin quote, by the way. Give me genuine conversations any day. Otherwise, move right along, ma’am.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Those last two quotes are great, maybe love the You are a ghost one even more than the other one

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Lisa says:

    I love this! Thank you for writing such an inspirational post that also made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Before I congratulate you on being the sky, I need to know if some yellow jackets got loose again in your car. 🙂 I can face some things head on, some I can go around a bit and still get to it, but family is what usually stops me cold and then I have that loop going on in my head about what I should have or shouldn’t have said. 🙂 I do like thinking you are the sky so maybe I could be a cloud?

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Anxious Mom says:

    I’m all about that distance. And sometimes making my husband confront people that need confronting. That works well, too.

    Liked by 1 person

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  21. meg68 says:

    My take on shitstorms in general?
    Either “Don’t fuck with me!!” or “If you HAVE to fuck with me then at least do it from behind so I don’t have to watch!”

    Liked by 1 person

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