Do y’all remember weddings in grade school?
I almost married Adam Sears in the coat cubby, but even then I got scared and couldn’t go through with it. We stayed friends for years though, talked on the telephone until 842 and 784 hadda dial an area code to get to one another, and neither of our parents wanted to pay for long distance while we talked nonsense and watched Sha Na Na.
Anyway, Moo told us the cutest lil wedding story:
“I went to a gay wedding today.”
“Didja? Did they serve gay cake after?”
“It’s just a wedding, don’t say gay wedding.”
“All weddings are gay.”
“Gay as in happy!”
“Adam and Steve got married today. Steve wore his hoodie as a veil. We hadda use the algebra book for a bible.”
“Why did you need a bible at the wedding?”
“Have you confused weddings with court?”
“Did they have to put their left hands on the algebra book and raise their right hands to swear to love one another for as long as they both shall live?”
“No, they swore to Archimedes.”
“Were you the officiant?”
“No, I was Adam’s best man.”
“Quinn was the flower girl. She passed out math worksheets.”
“Claire walked Steve down the aisle and she was the maid of honor and the priest. Joel was the usher. He hadda get everyone out the door when the bell rang. At the end, Adam shouted out, “I cheated on you with Josh! I demand a divorce!”
Forget Runaway Brides — Grooms these days!
Happy Friday Everyone!