A Nice Day for a Math Wedding

Do y’all remember weddings in grade school?
I almost married Adam Sears in the coat cubby, but even then I got scared and couldn’t go through with it. We stayed friends for years though, talked on the telephone until 842 and 784 hadda dial an area code to get to one another, and neither of our parents wanted to pay for long distance while we talked nonsense and watched Sha Na Na.

Anyway, Moo told us the cutest lil wedding story:

“I went to a gay wedding today.”
“Didja? Did they serve gay cake after?”
“It’s just a wedding, don’t say gay wedding.”
“All weddings are gay.”
“Gay as in happy!”
“Adam and Steve got married today. Steve wore his hoodie as a veil. We hadda use the algebra book for a bible.”
“Why did you need a bible at the wedding?”
“Have you confused weddings with court?”
“Did they have to put their left hands on the algebra book and raise their right hands to swear to love one another for as long as they both shall live?”
“No, they swore to Archimedes.”
“Hahaha! Cool.”
“Were you the officiant?”
“No, I was Adam’s best man.”
“Quinn was the flower girl. She passed out math worksheets.”
“Claire walked Steve down the aisle and she was the maid of honor and the priest. Joel was the usher. He hadda get everyone out the door when the bell rang. At the end, Adam shouted out, “I cheated on you with Josh! I demand a divorce!”

Forget Runaway Brides — Grooms these days!


Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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18 Responses to A Nice Day for a Math Wedding

  1. Dan Antion says:

    That’s hilarious. When did we stop being children?

    Although, if I had asked my wife to put her hand on an algebra book, she might have started crying. “If a train leaves the gay wedding at 1:00 heading east at 60 mph…”

    Liked by 11 people

  2. jan says:

    Cute story! The cake looks a little dangerous to eat though! That’s a lot of food coloring!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Joanne Sisco says:

    There is simply no way I can top Dan’s comment. So let’s just leave it there ….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy Friday right back at you, Joey, and have a great weekend.


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Luanne says:

    LOL! Love the cake, too. And Dan’s comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Laura says:

    Just laughed myself silly at this one…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Benson says:

    After Dan’s comment I got nuthin’.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Glad you captured this dialog…it’s a treasure. As is that cake…and the comments. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  9. HaHA! So funny, as was Dan’s comment!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. reocochran says:

    Your Moo story of a gay wedding in algebra class and your near wedding in the coat cubby made me smile and nod my head, Joey!
    My first “engagement” was to Billy Seiler, who gave me a Cracker Jack silver plastic ring with a pink “rock.” Turns out shoulda kept him, he became a pediatrician. 🙂
    I love the “gay apparel” in the Christmas song. I love rainbow cakes and my DIL can make a seven layered rainbow yellow thingy with whipped cream between the layers. Yummy!
    Hope you have a tasty and fun Thanksgiving with lots of help from the family.
    p.s. I have managed to be assigned veggie tray and a pie to bring, up at my brother’s house while he and wife are leaving the state of Ohio. Randy will be dog and housesitting and some kids and parents staying there. While I will spend nights at senior living apartment, also bring the Guest of honor~ Mom. ❤


  11. This is great, just laughed out loud


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