You Waited: Weird Week’s Longest Post

My apologies, but this week’s funnies are completely ineligible for blogland. More than half of them were just plain mean. Oh, the gossip stories I could tell you over mojitos on the porch, but not here. *shakes head subtly*
The rest are wildly inappropriate, even for me and my Not A Nice Lady Blog.

Maybe I can get a giggle or a heh. Maybe.

It’s been a weird, Sassy-less week. This is the longest I have gone without Sassy since I grew her. She’s stayed with her auntie and our mothers, but never this long.

I admit, completely, to being the sort of woman who cries a lot. I’m a crier. Motherhood makes me cry more. Usually tears of pride and joy, but sometimes worry, and occasionally the bittersweet trickles right down my cheeks.

The Mister tells the story of how he took Bubba to kindergarten. I wasn’t there.

I home-schooled Sissy for kindergarten and when I dropped her off with Bubba at the great big school swarming with giant children, I struggled to let her out of the car, for fear she’d be trampled and wander the halls bloody, bruised, and crying. I made her recite her information several times before I let her out — and then I cried all the way home.
“She’s so small!” I told people.

The Mister and I walked Sassy to her first day of pre-k, and even though she towered over her classmates, I still cried a bit.

The Mister and I walked behind Moo trying to keep up with her on her first day of pre-k and though I did feel the lump in my throat when I put her down, I did not cry.

When they go away a while, I do sometimes ask my girls if they wandered around cryin for their mama. Apparently they do not do this. Generally, they have a swell time. After a few courses of swell times my worries have lessened.

I mean, that’s what we’re doin over here. Raisin people to go off and make a life. So you know, they gotta get practiced. I’ve written about this before.

Then I had to leave my BAAAAABY child teenager for a week.
An hour away.
On a college campus.
With thousands of stranger people.

And though my heart swelled with pride and wonder at all the joys she brings me, I had to cry all over her face a wee bit, because there, she seemed small. And I worried she’d wander around cryin for her mama — but of course, non, again, swell time.

Sassy spent the week at Ball State University, which is my alma mater.
Sassy earned a spot and a partial scholarship to the summer orchestra program.Β 
*waits for applause to Sassy*

People from not round here often laugh at the name Ball Sate. Ball U. Har-har-har!
But lemme ask you this — Ever heard of Ball jars?!?


In Indiana, if you wanna be a teacher, you go to Ball State. You can go elsewhere, and people do, but it’s primarily a teaching school, as that’s what it began as, back when they called them Normal Schools.
Here’s the Ball State Teacher’s College Building — Please note it is unchanged. There are no rich and famous teachers to endow it.


That’s not to say there aren’t other outstanding programs at Ball State, cause there are, but there are plenty of good schools to choose from here in Indiana. I know, it’s weird, cause we’re all farmers and stuff, but we’ve got IU and Purdue and Notre Dame and Butler, and if you can imagine, people from out-of-state sometimes come here to get educated. Some of those people don’t even farm or play basketball!


that’s beneficence, we call her benny

Ball State has churned out some famous people, hundreds of whom I don’t know diddly about, but notably, David Letterman, Jim Davis (that’s the creator of Garfield, y’all) the Papa John pizza guy, Oprah’s boyfriend, and Janet from Three’s Company.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that our high school now has an auditorium named after our principal — See, ya know you’re gettin old when memorials are named after people you actually knew — there’s nothin quite like visiting your college campus 21 years later to demonstrate how time done crept up all over you.

I’ll tell you what — they have benches at Ball State. In fact, seating is available most everywhere — built into the sides of buildings and walkways and whatnot. Moo and I sat on some benches I realize were there when I was a student, and yet, I do not recall, ever in four years, needing to sit on a bench. I don’t remember seeing so many benches, even though clearly they’ve been there, lots of them, for a hundred years or more.
Isn’t that bizarre?!?

When we first arrived, some darling young person thought I was a student. Flattering, but clearly, as I sat on three benches in one day, my feet knew I was a mom. I still swing my feet like a kid, but I’m a mom.


Plus, I wore khakis. I mean really, do young people ever wear khakis? On purpose? Mine don’t.

If you have not had the pleasure of walking your old college campus, I kinda recommend it in a sadistic-nostalgic way. For one thing, there’s no way to describe the surreal experience of a place that’s familiar, but in a strange way, you feel like you might could get lost. I had several shocking moments of “Well that’s new!” and “Was that church parking lot always there?” and “It’s got air-conditioning?!?”

My residence hall, to be reopened this year, DID NOT LOOK LIKE THIS.
IMG_3622 (2)

Um, no. It looked sad and 1980 brick brown and it had a wonky elevator and to be fair, it was one of the nicer, newer dorms, cause Honors. But still, this is freakin palatial compared to where I lived. Do you think they’ll put the enormous pleather chairs back in there? Cause I don’t.

Over by the nunnery (Women to Men at Ball State is 3:2) there usta be a sorta scary building where people had dormed since the abacus, and now it looks like this.



I walk 2-3 miles on a regular basis. That’s pretty much Sadie’s threshold for her bum paw which sets the standard. Sadie was glad she couldn’t go. No doubt she stayed home petting the cats and catching up onΒ Broadchurch.
We walked so much at Ball State — the following day, Moomalade the Intrepid said she felt old!Β *gasp*

I usta could walk like that five days a week no worries? What the hell kinda shoes was I wearin?! I only remember the snow boots.

I drove to and from, and I’m about to tell you somethin even weirder than the bench thing — It’s closer now. I know. That’s not possible. But I swear to you, it’s closer. Maybe less road construction, maybe more lanes, less traffic. I don’t know. But I lived closer then than I do now and I can tell you it took at least 30 more minutes in the 90s.

I expected to have horrendous anxiety driving, but I. did. not.

Most of my anxiety materialized in nightmares. I missed my daughter. An uneasy, essential feeling for us both, a precursor to the future. It even made me miss my own mother more.
I have never been down to one kid. I didn’t even start with one kid. Weird. Quiet. Not that I could hear myself think or heaven forbid, visit the bathroom alone, but so much quiet.
Moo loved every minute of it. Never had to wait her turn to talk. Never had to choose a parent — merely squish up in the middle. We spoiled her rottener. Must have been awful for her, eh?

Thanks for reading, or you know, for clicking Like and then making an unrelated comment that insults my intelligence. That’s two long posts in one week. You like I make you a mojito? Wanna sit out on the porch and enjoy the rains?

Happy Weird Week Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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60 Responses to You Waited: Weird Week’s Longest Post

  1. orbthefirst says:

    Yay for Sassy!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. orbthefirst says:

    Oh, & I would LOVE to sit out on the porch with you & stuff, but its my birthday, & my bro & his will be here any time. πŸ˜›

    Liked by 1 person

  3. orbthefirst says:

    Thanks! πŸ˜€ Its ok, its been a crazy time here too lately. I might/should blog about stuff soon, but its gonna hafta wait, lol. Well chat soon, hopefully. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I kid you not: reading, giggling, reading, scrolling, reading “Over by the nunnery (Women to Men at Ball State is 3:2) there usta be a sorta scary building where people had dormed since the abacus, and now it looks like this…. ” and I said out loud, “WHOA!” and I scrolled and YOU said, “WHOA!”

    Now you tell me: how often does THAT happen, hmm?

    I’m going to have to have a mojito once in my life, so, move over on the porch and spill the beans about the funny/mean stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. meANXIETYme says:

    So much congrats to Sassy! (and yay for Moo! I know what it’s like to want all the attention and yet have to share it with others…boo!) πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I always like your photography, and this really helped me visit Ball State too. See, totally unrelated and with a like click too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. How exciting for Sassy! I hope she has a wonderful time, but I get what you’re feeling I’ve been there. It’s not easy letting go. I’ve always needed my kids more than they have needed me.

    I’ll take a Mojito on the porch. Thank you! πŸ™‚ Hope your week-end is a good one!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. loisajay says:

    Joey–I just love the way you write. You totally crack me up! The ‘nunnery’…..I went to Catholic grammar and high school. WTH, right? Anyway, we always called the nun’s home ‘the nunnery.’ Convent sounded way too normal. Ya know, doc says no alcohol while on chemo, so, gosh, it will be forever since I have had a glass of wine. Soon as this is over, I do want a Mojito. Cheers to Sassy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I can’t wait til it’s mojito time for you!
      Sassy πŸ˜€ She’s really somethin!
      The nunnery is an all-girls dorm, or, at least it was. Who knows now. Prolly has cute male RAs, a hot tub, and a champagne fountain now. πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s definitely different to go back to your college years later. πŸ™‚ Good for Sassy, but I need to know what Bubba is. I know Sassy and Moo, but my ancient brain doesn’t recognize Bubba. Pour me another mojito, please. Thanks and cheers.


    Liked by 1 person

  10. ghostmmnc says:

    Oh, yeah, that happy/sad feeling when the babies leave home, even for a little bit. Glad your girl is trying out her wings, and you’re right, they have a ‘swell’ time, while we sit at home a worry. I don’t think I’d seen photos of Ball State U, before, even though I might have mentioned my daughter went there for awhile for study. It is a very pretty campus, and yay for benches! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dan Antion says:

    I’ll take a beer when you get a chance, I love “This is the longest I have gone without Sassy since I grew her” interesting way of putting it. I’ve been back to my alma mater(s) many times. They always seem smaller. Applause for Sassy and good luck finishing up the week and weekend.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Benson says:

    I would never make a comment insulting your intelligence. Knowingly anyway. Unrelated? Sure. My eldest Grand daughter goes to BU. You are so right about the chortles and grins you get from people when you mention Ball State. Years ago I was in Rochester N.Y. as best man at a friends wedding. One of the guys I met fell over laughing about it. I later sent him and his wife T shirts. I am sure it got them some laughs. Congratulations to Sassy. Try not to squish her when she comes home. Have a good Moo-full weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Haha! Yes, BALL U shirts for everyone!!!
      Yay for eldest granddaughter and best of luck to her!
      I squished her to bits and kissed her muchly. She is an exceptional person and we missed her terribly. (Even while enjoyin the hell outta Moo!)

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Well done to Sassy! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
    I’d love to sit on your porch and talk nonsense, Joey! I know I’d be laughing my head off, that’s for sure! :–)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. JT Twissel says:

    I feel your pain – I can still remember saying good bye to my youngest who went to school six hours from home. Horrible. I just started watching Broadchurch. So far, pretty good. Course I missed the first seasons so I have to guess what happened in the beginning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Oh my goodness! Why have you not started at the beginning of Broadchurch?!?
      Six hours is far. I’m VERY glad the oldest has chosen grad school in Indiana, cause his undergrad was in Florida, and that was tough.
      I know you can relate. Thanks.


  15. *Applause to Sassy*
    *Applause to mom for being mistaken for a student*
    *Applause to everybody for walking*
    *Gentle kick-ass to mom for keeping it a secret for so long. If I haven’t followed you on FB, I’d be beside myself from wishing to know what was going on. Did you get lots of concerned citizens’ mails?*

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thanks so much — we are so pleased and proud of her accomplishments ❀
      I just don't think it's smart to tell the world at large, Hey, my 14 year old daughter's totally not in our supervision right now, and here's where she is:
      I didn't get any concerned citizens at all πŸ™‚
      Obviously the person who thought I was a student needs her eyes checked. Had I not had my sunglasses on, I suspect my momness would have been obvious!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I smiled all the through this. And I thought, just wait till she make you a grandmother. It’s all kind of magical, isn’t it?


  17. I can so identify!


  18. Ally Bean says:

    I drove through my college campus a few years ago and it was one of the saddest, weirdest experiences ever. All the buildings were modernized, some gone entirely leaving gaping holes where something should have been. And the students were wearing the wrong clothes altogether. I couldn’t even summon the energy to get out of the car to walk around, feeling like I had suddenly aged 50 years in one minute. I applaud you for having the gumption to walk around.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      That is terrible.
      Like, the kind of terrible that makes me want to ask a lot of questions.
      Just know that you have my sympathy on the matter.


  19. I cry too. I am crying a lot this week as many things are getting broken by the kitties! So I landed on the post from January about cursive and because this is a breaking rules day I am going to break one. CURSIVE IS IMPORTANT. Two things that help develop the brain are cross crawling (that thing babies do when you put them on a floor, the way they crawl) and writing… it coordinates the brain. Now that I know they don’t teach it is school anymore (not a parent so how would I know) I understand why there are so very many stupider people in the world! And also, my writing didn’t make the standards set by architects or my mother but my scrawl always impresses other artists. I guess that is because I am old and they are young and they don’t know how? Have a happy Moo-ful weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I’m glad you weighed in on the cursive matter, I couldn’t agree more.
      You have a sorta standard design script, with a light hand and a flourish — I admire your writing.
      Thanks for stopping by and for sharing my teary nature πŸ™‚


  20. rvpackard says:

    Joy, oh joy to Joey! ❀️ To all, bunches of hugs & congratulations all over the place! Great Mama’a & Daddy’s are rare these days!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ohh… Yay!!! I’ve been waiting to see where Sassy headed. So much congratulations to her!!!
    Obviously, I’m behind from my trip, but when I saw it on IG, I was sure I’d find the details here!
    I don’t tend to announce my exact locations either, which is why I don’t share my hotel name until after I’ve left. I know I’d be even more vigilant on the kid-front! πŸ™‚
    I have numerous Ball jars… bought because I thought I might can some stuff or at least have cute containers for my sugar and flour….my kids drink out of them instead.
    I know it must’a been special for her to be at your Alma Mater. πŸ™‚ I think my hubby would be secretly proud if the oldest chose VCU, but we’re also rooting for VT because it’s so close that we could occasionally do lunch (not that he’d really want to…but guilt and all that…)

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I think going away to college, but not thousands of miles is ideal because that’s what I did. So you get the best of both worlds. Guilt and all πŸ˜‰
      I’m glad you have Ball jars — no one else even commented on that!
      Yeah, it gets a little weird when it comes to kids’ privacy. Like, all parents want to share, but we have to screen and scrutinize what we put out there. I’m glad you feel similarly.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Erika says:

    I feel like you need a slow clap for being mistaken for a student. That’d make a nice Bucket List After 30. “Get carded for booze, Not have heartburn after drinking, Be mistaken for a student.”

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Alice says:

    I am sooo with you on the weirdness factor of going back to your college campus after 20-some years. My own 25th reunion was at the end of May. I am still recovering.

    You and I ever find ourselves sitting on a porch sipping mojitos, I’ll tell you all about it. Then maybe we can meander into wtf makes an ed school a “normal school” (especially fun if neither of us can remember the history quite right!) and what’s up with all these other “abnormal” schools anyway…

    *hic* Pass me another mojito, wouldja, love?

    [ps. Woo hoo!! Go, Sassy!]

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Pingback: Writing Links…7/3/17 – Where Genres Collide

  25. marianallen says:

    ~wild applause for Sassy~

    It’s HORRIBLE to have your little baby ones go off somewhere to not miss you a bit! But it would be even horribler if they wandered around crying for their Mama in college, yeah? As you say, we’re raising them to be independent and capable, so it’s A Good Thing when their hearts don’t break for us. Ours break twice as hard, once from sad and once from proud, so it all evens out.

    I’ve been back to my old campus (Eastern Kentucky University) and love the changes. The library is bigger and super cool, AND THEY PUT THE FACADE OF THE OLD ONE INSIDE SO IT WILL KEEP. It’s AWESOME, how they did!

    Midwest Writers Workshop used to be held on Ball State campus, #2 Daughter attended Ball State, and #4 Daughter went to the Indiana Academy on Ball State campus, so I’ve done a considerable amount of walking around up there, myself. Good shoes and sitting down. Can’t say enough good about either one.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I like that you’ve spent time at Ball State πŸ™‚
      Yeah, the whole experience was emotionally exhausting — 90% pride and joy, but a lil bittersweet and a skosh OH MY FEET! lol

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Laura says:

    I am SO WITH YOU on the visiting your old campus thing. Where did the real dorms go? When did college kids get to live in nicer accommodations than my first apartment?? No wonder lots of these babies head back to mom & dad’s after graduation…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      That is a completely valid point. If you don’t live in a skanky dorm, then you might expect your first apartment to be swanky as well. Very perceptive, Laura.
      Our son (24) lives in a much nicer apartment than we ever did. Even his auntie who lives in the area was like, “There are many more affordable places….”


  27. JoAnna says:

    Interesting list of celebrities who went to your school. I like Benny. She’s so welcoming. Last time I visited my college, everyone looked like teenagers! Everyone!

    Liked by 2 people

  28. reocochran says:

    I am extra proud of Sassy! Standing “O!”
    I hope at the end of the week, parents come back and hear their concert. It is amazing how grown up kids become going away for a week.
    I used to cry a Lot when my kids went to their dad’s for a week. My Felicia stayed with me, which eased a little pain.
    I cried when I dropped (the oldest) Carrie only 20 miles or so away down on CCAD campus. I was proud but scared of her big city experience. I cried when I dropped Felicia off at UD, only a couple hours away.
    I have been back six times to see BGSU, Homecoming twice and children authors’ weekends. Brother Rich was an interim prof, so it was nice to stay with him. Skyler went to the fun days and was such a big boy at ages 3, 4, 5 and 6. I cannot imagine this happening with my own kids while so young. I guess being with Nana eased homesickness. (?)
    Loved this a whole lot and here in Delaware, OWU has a middle school camp for orchestra (with young teachers) one for writers. (OWL camp)
    Skyler did two solos at the end of orchestra camp, thumping on his bass and playing a “riff” at another point. I thought this was nice to have on a Friday afternoon and was glad I could attend. Not as big as going to Ball State and probably not as meaningful as Sassy’s experience. This was awesome! It was not held overnight either.
    Still nice for his 7th grade life experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Yeah, I figure most of the parents can relate to all the feelings, even if on different levels or in different circumstances.
      I agree, all the camps can be fun if they’re interested, even day camps. Do let Skyler know that Sassy got to play with Black Violin.


  29. Skipah says:

    You should and are (I know) a proud mom and this is just a process of kids growing up. I look forward and cringe at the thought of going through this with Sloane. On a personal note, Mr. Papa John himself started his whole empire a mere 10 minutes from my house growing up. He’s 100% Hoosier even though he dabbles into the University of Louisville sports scene, football named after Papa John’s and all.

    Liked by 1 person

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