Food & Flora for Friday

I’m sitting here shoving blueberries into my face, because I’ve waited too long to eat. I got obsessed with the idea of pho today.

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I kept thinkin the boy one would get here and he would totally wanna go pick up some pho, but he keeps not gettin here and I got hungrier and hungrier and so hungry I began to feel unwell and then I started thinkin I might be too unwell to drive to get the pho, which is so far, and then I have to wait and they’re always outta taro bubble tea, and I might would collapse right there at the table, disappointment on an empty stomach and all… So then I thought I needed some urgent food but we’re outta bananas, and outta nectarines, and if I opened a bag of pistachios I might just never stop eating them and never leave the house, ever, and that’d be bad.

Cause um, I need to go to the store, too.
Is it me, or is that like, the bane of my existence? The goddamn grocery store? No, I have actual problems, too, but that one IS the suck at the mo.

Right.

So the boy one is comin. Do you know what that darling boy said to me this week? (I am telling everyone.) I asked him if there’s a particular dinner he’d like me to cook this weekend and he said it didn’t matter cause he knows he’ll like it regardless. Uh, he has not always been that way, y’all. They grow up and astound.
I packed him a lil bag of food fings to take home with him. Love his heart. *gush gush gush*
I’ve once again been accused of loving him more, but I gave those bitches gravy, noodle soup, and milkshakes this week, so I’ll be hearing none of that, thank you very much.

I say bitches with pride, too. Ain’t raisin nice girls here. First progress reports came today and from teachers we’re already not fond of, and oh, do those As look shiny and bright. Mmhm. Just gonna be talkin smack all up in this house. The Mister has already started.
“Like my Sassy couldn’t get an A in her dumbass class! AS IF!”

Not lost my mind, I swear. I’m UP for the first time in weeks and also this iced coffee is a lil bit caffeinated and I’ve had a lot of it which means I’m a lot too caffeinated, but I’m happy, so there’s that.

Today is better than yesterday and that’s sayin a lot, cause I like Thursdays, but they keep lyin about the weather and it will probably never rain again and the ground will never be soft and I’ll never weed, I’ll just live in the house of vines and dead blooms.

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When they lied and said the rain would come around 1, I said to the dog, “We shall go out for afternoon boom boom early and you can chase the squirrels and I shall stake my sunflowers.” The dog didn’t say anything, but I believe she found the scenario agreeable. At 11, it began to rain. I hurried quick and put on my garden shoes and went to stake my sunflowers.
My twine is gone. All gone twine. I’m sure no one misused it, I did not misplace it — rather someone has come into our house and stolen my twine. Perhaps mice are using it to weave hammocks in the shed. Attaching them to the spider webs.

The shed. Where ya can’t even get in cause fleurs.

Yeah. So I pruned my way through the hibiscus and roses to get to the shed door, and then there was a HUGE ORB WEAVER all settled in his GREAT BIG WEB strung from one side of the arbor to the other. I ducked and went into the shed, where the lights did not come on, and I tried to open the other door for more light, but I couldn’t see the stakes in the dark until my foot rolled across them and I almost fell. I picked up the stakes and left the shed, right through the damned orb weaver’s web, all over my face, his meals all in my hair. Gnarly.
I staked those sunflowers and tied them with beautiful grosgrain ribbon, I did. In the rain, even. They’re well over my head now and still not open.
See?

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The babies have popped open, they’re about as tall as I am.

Face to face.
But the giants keep growin!
I’m excited!
There was no more rain. They’re sayin it’ll rain again tomorrow, but I know they lie.

Time to go, time to go!

Happy Friday Everyone!

 

 

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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55 Responses to Food & Flora for Friday

  1. orbthefirst says:

    Happy Friday Joey! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ooooh look at those lovely sunflowers, they are so pretty and so huge! I am sorry you got attacked by that spider’s web, I am shuddering as I think of it!
    I am hoping for rain for you for tomorrow! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Susanne says:

    For goodness sakes, I hope you get some Pho! I look forward to the day when my darling girls are all grown up and say they’ll like whatever we cook. That’s a stretch for my imagination. Love your pho and flowers fun Friday post!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Luanne says:

    Glorious flowers/pix! I feel as if I have cobwebby sticky threads all over me right now. Gee thanks. You are definitely UP today. I can hear it in your voice! And I agree about grocery stores. You wouldn’t believe what I do to avoid going!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. ghostmmnc says:

    Oh my word, I love your flowers! They look so wild and free out there. Happy happy Friday! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I always refer to it as ‘the goddamn grocery store,’ too!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I don’t like going to the grocery store either. Thankfully He-Man does the Costco run which cuts down the frequency with which I have to go to grocery store.

    EWWW going through Orb weavers web—shudders as I type! I did that once while hiking in the dark up to Delicate Arch. I felt like I needed a shower all day, and was itchy all day too.

    I hope you got some Pho. My kids will never say that! You must be floating.

    Have a great week-end!

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I felt so itchy and buggy after. I had to take a shower AGAIN. And then we went to the Y and I had to shower AGAIN, lol! I was like, super clean πŸ˜‰
      I did get my pho πŸ˜€
      It’s so nice your fella goes to the Costco. The Mister shops when I ask him to, but I’m not working right now, so it doesn’t seem right to ask him to do more. I think Amazon is my version of Costco. Cuts down on what I have to go get.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thankfully, he likes going…don’t ask me why, but he does, and I love that he’s good with that cause most the stuff is so heavy, and he doesn’t stop by the clothes, books, or say, “let’s see what they have for the season” and stop by thoses spaces like I do which saves us oodles of money. πŸ™‚
        I love Amazon! I order almost all my beauty and art stuff from Amazon these days. I almost feel like I’m becoming a recluse b/c online shopping is keeping out of the malls!

        When I do go to the grocery store and it’s time to check out I look for a line with guys in it cause they tend to get in, and get out so those line move. I’ve been doing that for years, and years. It works! It’s just one of the many reasons I like men. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Y’all have such an interesting life. All I’ve done all day is fill numbers into a financial calculator.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Jad says:

    Beautiful flowers…Ugh on the spider!!

    Like

  10. Dan Antion says:

    Beautiful sunflowers. I was struck by: “I needed some urgent food but we’re outta bananas” – That sounds like the start of an interesting story. I’m thinking a private detective that’s down on his luck, looking for a new case and about to meet a gorgeous girl who’s more trouble than she’s worth. Did you ever get pho?

    Liked by 2 people

  11. meANXIETYme says:

    Hope you got your Pho! Thanks for sharing the flowers, but no thanks for sharing about the spider web. Now we’re all ooky…

    Liked by 2 people

  12. loisajay says:

    Staked your flowers with grosgrain ribbon! Oh, how wonderful that sounds. I must say I do love to food shop. Go into Fresh Market, get a basket, sample some coffee and cookies, too? Why thank you. Stroll around. Buy some bread. Put the cart back. Ah, refreshed. And I have bread!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Benson says:

    I always seem to be a day late for Friday’s post. I know what you mean about grocery stores. It seems as though I always have to get something and there is only 2 of us. Why do we need so much stuff? It drives me nuts; and I’m the guy that likes grocery shopping. Well Happy Frenetic, caffeinated ,blueberry stained, pho-less and arid Friday. Even though it is Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      It was a good day and a great night. We finished with decadent chocolate cake πŸ˜€
      Yeah, I had about a dozen things on my list, asked people if they knew of others, and ended up with 30 items. Hah.
      To be fair, hot dog buns for hot dogs — a really good suggestion! lol
      Now it seems we need Benadryl and hand sanitizer. Bleh. Walgreens. In a bit.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Joanne Sisco says:

    … and it’s orb weaver season too. Those overly active little bastards weave they sticky strings across every door frame. I hate being the first one out in the morning … web in the face and hair is NOT a great way to start any day 😦

    Love the sunflowers! They’re going to be breathtaking!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      The tallest sunflower opened today πŸ˜€ I need to drag a chair over and climb up to get a better shot of him!
      Those orb weavers should be smarter. I judge the ones that string their webs across my entry. Duh, spider, people in and out all day!
      Last fall, The Mister had one that lived in his side mirror and every night, came out to rebuild! He took him to work. It’s a really funny story in person — The Mister shares how the spider looked shivering, how he turned the mirror to protect him from the winds… It’s a real hoot!

      Like

  15. Prajakta says:

    Nasty “bitches” run the world anyway! I got kind of carried away with your pho – an upcoming Vietnam holiday plan making me.

    Hope you had a great weekend, Joey πŸ™‚ Wonderful flowers!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pingback: Writing Links 8/21/17 – Where Genres Collide

  17. It is definitely a beautiful day in your neighborhood. Gorgeous blooms. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  18. marianallen says:

    You make me SO HAPPY every day! Thank you for the joeyness! EVERY! TIME!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Your flowers are beautiful. You can always tell when fall is coming. Those humongous spiders sitting in their fancy webs, are stocking up for the winter.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Skipah says:

    We just do rain dances like wild indians in southern Indiana or is it wild Indianans? Yay on the academic prowess, you know one day she is going to be taking care of you :).

    Like

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