One-Liner Wednesday — He’s Really Not a Vampire

“You should trim your nails while we’re sittin here. Lookin a bit Lestat these days.”

Then I thought for a moment and added, “Hey, Baby? You may BE Lestat.”
“How so?”
“You have long, beautiful nails, you’re arrogant, and you mock the living all the time!”

This One-Liner Wednesday is my jot for JusJoJan

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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36 Responses to One-Liner Wednesday — He’s Really Not a Vampire

  1. bikerchick57 says:

    I would be happy to be Lestat, especially in the winter when my nails crack. I think your nails are fine, Joey. Just fine. As for the Mister, paint his nails pink when he’s sleeping. :-p

    Liked by 3 people

  2. loisajay says:

    Hey–the Daily Prompt arrived at 7am this morning! Tell the Mister to move those vampire nails so you can get crackin’!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Benson says:

    If he is Lestat who would you be? Once while in Kindergarten my 2 older sisters painted my nails pink. Never did live that down. Since you were talking about nails thought I would throw that in.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Thank you for sharing!
      My girls have never done that to their brother, but my nephew has let them paint his many times. (So long as it’s off when he goes back out into the world!)
      If he is Lestat, I would be Marguerite 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Mine get in my way the instant they are a millimeter beyond my fingertips – because I can’t type properly. Drive me crazy. When I go on vacation, I sometimes paint them for the fun of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mine are so thin they tear easily so I don’t grow them long anymore. I’d love to have tough, thick, long fingernails, but then that would require regular manicures. I don’t do those anymore either. Trimmed and buffed are about all I can manage these days.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Do a teeth check next and then there’s the up only at night thing!! 🙂 I never had long nails because I played sports for years and as I use the keyboard all the time and then there’s the house and yard work and then…there are short nails. 🙂 I never bother with polish because it won’t stay long enough, but I do use it on my toenails sometimes. Too cold now to have my feet exposed long enough for polish to dry, though!

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Vampires need love, too !

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Dan Antion says:

    Hmmm, not sure it’s safe for a male-type-person to enter here, but: I have to leave one nail longer than the others. The finger I cut on my table saw is still too sensitive to be tapped on a hard surface. So, I leave that nail long enough to prevent the fingertip from hitting my desk.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Susanne says:

    Good one! And oh, Tom, Tom, Tom. How I miss your innocent vampire days.

    My nails are cracked and sad in the winter, too. They like Burt’s Bees nail balm. It’s da bomb.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. JT Twissel says:

    My nails are like those of the Living Dead! I’d scare poor old Lestat.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Frank Hubeny says:

    I like the “mock the living” part.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. darsword says:

    This had me laughing! I can’t let mine get too long. Typing to accommodate length hurts my hands and arms. On the other hand, I find my nails get dirtier shorter. And long nails make parting my hair or scratching me or pets a better experience. And as Dan Antion points out the longer nails keep the sensitive fingertips from hurting. Oh, the conundrum! Wonder if vampires have the same problems?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. jetgirlcos says:

    So glad that I am making time to read WP again! Joey, you always make me smile or laugh or think about stuff. The best part of this one may well be the comments, “wet crud” and all! 😉

    Like

  14. Amy says:

    Too funny! I have to remind one of my boys about nail clippage, but it ain’t the hubby. In this house, I may be the vampire. My legs don’t come out of hiding in the winter and I can already see that they’re are losing what little tan they found over the summer. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Hah, well there are four pair of paper white legs in this room, and Moo has the only tan set. She’s tan all the time though, like my mama. She’s just born that way 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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