But No: A Rant

Y’all ever wrong? Ever make mistakes? Are you the kind of person who refuses to admit error, or are you like me, all, “Oh you’re right, my apologies!”

I don’t talk shit when I’m not sure. On the daily, I say things like, “I’m sure you’re right,” and “You’d know better than I.” There are also many times when I’ve said “I don’t know” because I don’t know, and if you do know, why the fuck are you askin me?!? (I’ll never understand why people do that. Am I on Jeopardy?)
Anyway, there are abundant witnesses to my humility. When I don’t know things, I don’t pretend to. I’m always eager to learn new things. This is a good quality.

A bad quality I possess is self-righteous zeal, fury, and wrath over anyone who tells me I’m wrong when I know I’m right. I may need to work on that.


Sassy text me and asked, How you feel about Target?
I text back, I love Target. They have goat cheese pizza and there’s a Starbucks in there.
You take Moo and me to Target?
I think you wash my hair, do jeans, cook sausage, and take the gd dog out.
Oh mmhm
NVM We’re down. We’ll wash your hair in the sink.

I made a ponytail and took the girls to Target. We had gift cards out the wazoo. The Mister told me to take his gift cards, too.
If you insist!

Never has anyone ever bought a stranger compilation of things than at Target. You’re like, i need some band-aids, but also cream, and this tie-dyed alpaca… only one goat cheese pizza left? i have got to stop bloggin about it. look at this giant box of cocoa for $6, and this scarf is soft and sweet, ice cream’s on sale, and i must have this tiny dish because it’s so pretty, and ooh! is that her latest book?

You know it’s true.


Used all the gift cards ever. Took us five minutes to check out, so many gift cards. Thanked the lady behind us for her patience. The guy who had been behind us left, poor guy.

Went to the not-a-real-Starbucks in Target. (Y’all know that, right?) Ordered four coffees: two white mochas, one decaf caramel macchiato, one butterscotch frap.
When Lyin ass LiarGirl only gave me three coffees, I informed her of the missing white mocha. She said I only ordered three coffees. I said no, I ordered four. I did not pay $20 for three coffees. She said I only ordered three and I only paid for three, it was fourteen-something, but she will ring me up for a fourth.


“It was fourteen somethin after I swiped my gift card, and then I used my husband’s gift card for the remainder.”

“No, you only used one gift card.”


We went back and forth before I asked, “Where’s my receipt?”
“You told me you didn’t want a receipt.”


“No, you did not ask me if I wanted a receipt. If you had, I would have said yes because I’d like to tell my husband what’s left on his gift card.”

“No, you only used one gift card.”
“I used two.”
“No you didn’t.”


A manager was called. She said to get security to pull my receipt.
Security was called. Security pulled my receipt.

I asked that man, “Did I pay for four coffees?”
“Did I use two gift cards?”
“I would like my husband’s grande white mocha and I would like that receipt and I would like an apology.”

HE apologized. He thought if she had to apologize to me, it would escalate the situation.

i do not believe in violence. i am a pacifist.
Her hair was loose, and I had that ponytail.

Like I don’t know how many people I’m buyin coffee for. Like I don’t know how many husbands and children I have. What the hell is wrong with people?!? Shut your lyin lips and pull the receipt you vacuous twat!


I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.
om, motherfucker, om, om, om


Happy Friday Everyone!Β 

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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91 Responses to But No: A Rant

  1. loisajay says:

    whew! Sounds brutal. I like Target…gonna be careful in there, though. And watch for women with ponytails. Have a great Friday, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, how I do understand you here, Joey. I would be mad too.
    I went into a cafe in August, short after I came home from hospital and I didn’t feel too good at the moment. I ordered an American coffee and gave her 2 Euro. I expected to get money back, when she served the coffee, but no, I did pay right for my coffee. I didn’t have energy to argue that day, but I will never visit that cafe again or advice other to.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am NOT getting on your bad side when you’re right. Thank God and all the heavens that they could pull the receipt. You shouldn’t have to swallow that kind of rage. Not good for your liver. Or something. That cashier needs a lot more training.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dan Antion says:

    I would support your rage. I’d hold your three coffees while you beat her up for the 4th. I don’t like receipts but I ask for them just for this reason.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. LindaGHill says:

    I’m feelin’ it. I’m so mad on your behalf I could throw my coffee down the sink!!
    Oh, wait. I made it myself. Never mind.
    But seriously, no one needs that shit, ever. Good for you for getting it sorted out. I hope the girl learned a lesson.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ghostmmnc says:

    Wow! Talk about gaslighting! Hope she got fired for that, and who knows how many others got that treatment from her, and didn’t complain. Good for you for sticking to your guns! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  7. That’s the sort of employee I don’t want to be working with (or managing if I were a manager.) Yikes! Glad you didn’t just vaporize because of rage and could instead rant here. πŸ™‚ I’m surprised they didn’t comp you the drink or do something else like that.

    P.S. I’d be happy to admit I was wrong if I ever was. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  8. April says:

    LOL! A perfect rant. I had one today as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. scr4pl80 says:

    I have the kids and the hubs write the date on the calendar if I ever say that I am wrong and they are right (most recent occurrence when the kids warned me how working in retail is difficult and I said “no way, I’m working with crafters who are nice people.” Turns out not all people who shop at Michaels are crafters. Some are parents with kids who wait until the last minute to get that mandatory science fair project done…but I digress). I did know (because the youngest works at Starbucks) that the ones in Target and Safeway are fake Starbucks because she doesn’t get her employee discount there. You should have gotten a free drink for the “misunderstanding.” Interesting that the picture of the receipt you posted has the word Success in the bottom left corner. You go girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      HAHAHA! I love that!
      Yeah, retail can suck when it comes to people — bout like service. 😦
      You know if it had been a real Starbucks it would never have happened, and had it, not that it would, I’da gotten somethin extra.
      Thanks for your support!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Jewels says:

    What ever happen to “The customer is always right?” Wow… She should have had to apologize, and then she should have gotten written up for arguing with a customer.
    “om, motherfucker, om, om, om” hahaha! Prime example of why I love and enjoy you so much Joey! Thank you for putting humor into everything, you’re such a gem! πŸ™‚ Happy Friday!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Luanne says:

    Yes, I am quite sure you are right all the time and don’t need to work on any I am right hostility. But yes I hate bitches like that!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I have a suspicion this is some kind of till scam. She pockets the price of a few coffees that were overpaid every night. It’s easier when it’s a gift card, because people don’t pay attention.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. JT Twissel says:

    What an experience… someone obviously is in the wrong line of work.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Susanne says:

    Oh. Wow. The ire! My screen is on fire with your rage. I hope you had a cool coffee. Ommm.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I have been laughing on and off for the last hour sometimes hysterically so over these lines,
    “i do not believe in violence. i am a pacifist.
    Her hair was loose, and I had that ponytail.”, and “om, motherfucker, om, om, om”.

    I was feeling that rage with you. I love your humor.

    I sure hope that clerk got straightened out and doesn’t do that to anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Is it WRONG that I’m laffing my ass off? No, no, lemme rephrase that: HOW WRONG IS IT that I’m laffing my ass off? Or, as they say in math class: If MA is 30 pounds overweight, and Joey makes her laff her ass off, how much weight does MA lose? That lying liar McLie-Face was one brave liar, to stand up and face your righteous Rambo rage. SMH. Also: What is NVM?

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Donnalee says:

    Good for you for getting the manager. “Is blue blue?’ ‘No mam it isn’t and you’re wrong’ ‘Did you just say that?’ “No mam I never spoke with you in my life including now’. MANAGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ally Bean says:

    Stuff like what you went through makes me crazy. I understand and support your anger because– really, the mark-up on Star$ coffee is so high that as a customer you want to get every lousy milky frothy bubble that you paid for. Glad security apologized to you. Sorry that they had to.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. bikerchick57 says:

    I wonder how much longer that girl is gonna keep her job…
    Good thing the manager and security were there to keep you from needing bail money.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. If I’m wrong, I readily admit it, and it doesn’t bother me one bit. I will also apologize if necessary. But, it annoys me to the point of your rage when either someone refuses to admit they were wrong or create a fictitious story that supports their bs stance like I’m not smart enough to smell the bs. Rage on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Right? Oh Those People! Thanks for your support. Bein wrong doesn’t bother me, either.
      (it does, at times, bother the plants. lol)


  21. I can’t believe she’s going to try and argue with you about it’. What happened to customer service? That shit would never have happened here in friendly Canada (hint hint). Seriously though, you held your cool better than I could have I think. How old was this girl?

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Oh! And I forgot, that alpaca is the cutest thing ever! ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  23. JoAnna says:

    Either it’s a scam or she has a mental illness like oppositional defiant disorder or both. I’d be writing a big fat letter using my PO box. Or on line.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. That’s the way to settle misunderstandings. Even I feel better now.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Benson says:

    This is so funny. I can just see little Joey jumping around; like George Jefferson. Pony tail bouncing, spittle spraying and temperature raising. Make my day Punk. Would love to see that security tape. Your Friday has already gone and it is now Saturday. So it’s Happy Saturday and I hope your Friday was great and bloodless.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Laura says:

    “Her hair was loose, and I had that ponytail.”

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Oh my Lord, Joey! I would have lost my cool. Honest. Especially since I’ve hit 50 and then some, there are those whose attitude towards me I somehow lost my brains due to age. What IS it with peeps today? Aint they paying’ attention? Have they got their minds on FB instead of their job? My IRE went up just reading this! Like YOU don’t know how many coffees you ordered. That girl FYI should be fired on the spot. Of course management won’t do that today cause sue happy is so prevalent. Did ya learn anything from this? I’m proud of you that you didn’t let a fist fly. Or a hair grab. Good grief! Sorry ass excuse for a chit. Liar liar pants on fire. Karma is a bitch, ya know. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Wow. That would upset me too!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Anxious Mom says:

    WTF?! I hope she got in trouble for that shit later. What was she gonna do, refund and pocket the money? Hmm. My husband had a sorta similar situation at Krispy Kreme this week. We ordered doughnuts and a drink and they told us it was like $14. Had a hot chocolate on there that neither of us ordered. Husband mentioned it. Cashier said “Swipe the card, it’s not on your ticket.” Uh, no. They went back and forth, her saying it wasn’t on our ticket even thought it was on the fucking screen in front of us, then she said it was the previous customer’s who def didn’t order it and “SWIPE THE CARD,” then her saying she wasn’t removing it because it didn’t count towards our total and “SWIPE THE CARD.” I thought he was gonna lose his shit. Finally another employee stepped over looked at her like she was nuts and took it out. Lying ass bitch. No apology from her, either.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      See, that’s some sneaky ass shit right there. I don’t like that. A few other people mentioned it might be a scam. Little bits could certainly add up. I was FURIOUS. She was makin coffee, how the fuck does she know how I paid?!? Maybe we all need to be a bit more attentive about our charges.

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Oh my…sorry but I did laugh through this, but also felt your pain. I was picturing the situation the whole time. Cat Fight! πŸ™‚ I am always wrong and can’t argue for anything. I do take a receipt every time. I get looks like really. My hubby pokes fun of me for it. I like to check it off the bank account, thank you. Bookkeeper for 17 years. πŸ™‚ I am glad you stuck to your guns and got that coffee but she should have apologized. I would have made her as the manager. πŸ™‚ Actually, caught a mistake once on a receipt while walking out the door. Cashier had charged me 22 ears of corn or something like that. So I went right to the service desk and got that refund. We barely eat 4 ears of corn. LOL That service desk person had a heck of a time refunding me. I so wanted to tell her how to do it. I kept biting my tongue. After probably 15 minutes I got my refund. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Amy says:

    I would’ve been so irate. I do not like being called a liar when I know that I am indeed correct. I agree with a comment above that it sounds almost like a scam. Typically, the customer is always right and if the customer said they order four, you’d either pull up the receipt or just cut your losses and make them the drink just to avoid the argument. Strange… glad you were vindicated on your correctness when the receipt was finally pulled!!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. darsword says:

    GRRRRRR! Glad the manager came and prove you right! Oh and Yum for the goat cheese pizza and Target!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Pingback: Writing Links 2/5/18 – Where Genres Collide

  34. larva225 says:

    Dude! You did NOT need that caffeine! But yeah. Some things require that kind of behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. prior.. says:

    they should have comped your entire order!

    and funny to read about the “not-a-real-Starbucks in Target.” because the worse Target service I have ever gotten has been at the Target ones- never realized that til now….

    Liked by 1 person

  36. prior.. says:

    and oh ❀ to the tie-dyed alpaca

    Liked by 1 person

  37. dweezer19 says:

    LMAO. But not about the situation. That manager’s attitude is the while reason they continue to get away with such atrocities, stealing from you straight up! I’d have had to turn around and give her the damn coffee and say, β€œSince you apparently needed it enough to STEAl it…” πŸ™„

    Liked by 1 person

  38. dweezer19 says:

    That’s why I ALWAYS get my receopt. A real paper one, no matter how β€˜unhip’ anyone thinks it is. I had a Macy’s clerk tell me once when I asked for my receipt and a paper bill to be sent, that all the younger generation were waiting for us older people to β€˜die off’ so the world can go totally internet and paperless. I was so mad!

    Liked by 1 person

  39. bitchen2rant says:

    i really like this one, made me clap my hand , hell, , it made me wish i was their watching the whole thing. keep the rants coming,


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