I saw this at the fair:
I was all, “Ooh! I wanna! Y’all wanna?”
Yes, me and my girls, doin the thing! We bought our tickets early and decided we’d go as a sorta last hurrah before we left.
I’ve been on a ski lift countless times in my life, what could go wrong?
This could go wrong.
This was a bad idea.
Not even as high as a ski lift. Only about 35 feet.
Anxiety did not care, but I wasn’t expecting it.
So I hopped on the Skyride, Yellow one — Yay! The seating was two per, so my daughters got in the next one. I began my ascent into the beautiful twilit sky, which we all agreed was perfect for Instagram. So nice for Joeys. Ooh, ahh.
Cept, umm, no. I thought I’d be up there, swingin my feet, smiling into the clouds. I’d smile and wave to fellow travelers, take a few pics…
How it really went:
oh shit. oh shit. oh shit. oh my god. ohhhh fuuuuuuuck. i am a good mom. i will be strong for my babies. i will not scream. i will not cry. i will not let the anxiety control my life. i do what i want. it’s my life. i enjoy floating in the sky. nice pep talk is totally not workin here. deep breaths. are you even breathing? holy shit, can i even go skiing again? bunny hill only? that is the suuuuck. i wish i had an ativan. what kinda bad bitch do i think i am? why the fuck are we stopping? oh my god, it’s moving like a ferris wheel! no vertigo. no no no no no. focal point. oh my god, everything is moving! there are no static points in the sky! i want my mommy! breathe s’more. i’m okay, i’m okay, i’m okay. i’m perfectly safe. look, the other people are okay, you’re okay, too. why are they so calm!? i wanna be calm! oh little boy, please, do not lean forward. lord please don’t let my babies lean forward. oh if i live through this i am goin home and i am havin a shower and a cocktail and why the fuck didn’t i think this shit through? imma die. i have got to make better decisions.
FOR TEN MINUTES. IT’S A TEN-MINUTE RIDE. I ALMOST PAID TWICE AS MUCH SO WE COULD TAKE THE TWENTY-MINUTE RIDE.
It stopped three times. I white knuckled it the entire way. I took a few pictures. With one hand. With my phone clutched to my chest. While we were stopped.
Beautiful! Not filtered at all. It looked just like that.
You can’t even feel my fear, huh?
I’m guessin my heart rate was around 180, but my ribs kept my heart from burstin, and the photo is focused and everythin.
I figured out the poles were numbered and I counted down. When I got to 6 I could see the landing area, but I couldn’t feel my hands anymore. It was a long, long journey.
The view from the ground was just fine.
When we got home, we discussed our common thoughts on Skyriders who passed us.
“One lady scrollin on her phone! Like she was on the ground and her life was okay!”
“I know! With the bun?”
“And one lady, layin all on her mans like it was just totally normal and romantic and not the scariest thing she’d ever done!”
“I saw her, legs crossed even!”
“And that one little boy leaned over!”
“And his dad let him!”
“People turned around and waved to their fam!”
“Huh uh, no!”
Not a single person in passing looked terrified. We envied all of them.
I had a shower and a cocktail and I slept like a rock.
Look at me, doin the things. Living. As I am.