Stupid Bloody Tuesday

“Stupid bloody Tuesday, man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long…”

I am the eggman! I am the eggman!

Everybody —

Motherfucker, even the YouTube is down! Like I said, stupid bloody Tuesday.

(If you don’t know the song, I don’t want to know. Just… Don’t.)

I’m no walrus. I’m like… prolly some woodland creature. Somethin small and busy and brown. Something burrow-y and … Is there a small woodland creature that behaves as though it’s deranged in order to scare off its prey? Somethin heavily dependent on nail files, Band-Aids, and calendars? I’m that.

Anyway, yeah, I know you’ll probably read this on Wednesday but I’m writing it on the stupid bloody Tuesday.

Do you ever consider your reactions to things are a result of previous experiences? I do. If you find yourself more angry or more sad or more –> *anxious* <— that is me — than everyone else involved, instead of screaming, “WHY IS NO ONE ELSE FREAKING OUT?!?” it’s best to internally inquire why you are freaking out. We carry a lot of old crap, not all of which serves us.

I am freaking out. Not outwardly, but inside. I am experiencing the brain tingles and the skin zapping and the tight band around my head and and and the panicking when I leave home and the panicking when I leave work, and moments of compulsion over proofreading and key-checking — certain I have forgotten something dire.

This morning, my kids. The Mister took them in early to do the things. I stood at the door like, keys, phone, coffee… no, bitch, you did not leave the iron on. you ain’t even ironed.
My dog tilted her head and I tilted back.
As I passed the school, I realized MY KIDS! that feeling of something missing is my kids. who are at school. it is okay. you are okay. i’m okay.

It’s a familiar feeling, the freaking out, and although I am a long-time member, it’s not a fan club.

thumb_jennaclaire-jennaaclaire-im-all-panic-and-no-disco-this-is-36297717.png
I did my best to have a good day. I made myself a nice PBJ for lunch. I have abandoned my black uniform for Tuesdays. Some time ago I toned it down, and have moved into navy. On Tuesdays we wear navy. Mentor says she knows it’s Tuesday when I wear the blues. Heh.

Still, I barely made it.

While I was working late and wondering how many days hours I would need to work over to feel like I am accomplishing enough to make up for the absent parties, The Mister asked me if I was also still at work, and whether I was also sad and pathetic?
YES.
Then we exchanged sad selfies

9F741116-2DA3-462E-BEA8-3B06A8A522B5

and worked s’more.

I’m going to go make my bed now. Sheets fresh from the dryer. I WASN’T UP TO IT ON SUNDAY, OKAY? That’s what I’m sayin, I’m not myself!

Shh. i’m okay.

Imma make this Tuesday all warm and soft and snugly until it’s disappeared into Wednesday.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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46 Responses to Stupid Bloody Tuesday

  1. Mine was better, thank goodness! I did the new primary care doctor thing, and he was 1) on time, 2) organized, 3) intelligent, and 4) seemed competent – all of which you can’t take for granted. Glory be! I can work with him: none of them know anything about CFS, so I didn’t expect that, but I didn’t get the “it’s all in your head” look, and that’s good enough. I expect practically nothing more out of me today. Okay, nothing more.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My Tuesday was okay. I got some errands done, some laundry done; not folded yet, but done. I didn’t dust like I need to. Why do that today when I can do it tomorrow, and #1 Grandson was so much more fun to listen to and hang out with. πŸ˜‰

    Ah, your sad faces are really too stinking cute! You two crack me up!

    I love the sound of your snuggly, freshly washed bedding. Now I’m wishing that was the laundry I did today. Maybe tomorrow.
    I hope you sleep like a baby, and Wednesday is really good!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bill says:

    Sitting here eating wine and drinking chocolate, or something like that, while reading this. Joey is prolly in bed by now and I should be too. It was a Tuesday and I have knowledge of her relationship with that day. I second circadianreflections motion: sleep well and wake to a great new day called Wednesday.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Benson says:

    You’re right it is Wednesday. Early but still Wednesday. Nice pouty faces. Tell Jason to watch out. He could trip over that lip.I haven’t done anything since Friday or Saturday. Hell I haven’t left the house since Friday or Saturday. You could be a Meerkat. They burrow and do act all crazed when something is after them. They also look so cute when they stand up. Our cats have that same stance. Hope your Wednesday is an improvement.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I’d tell Jake about the lip thing, but his mama done told him his face would freeze, and it ain’t happened, so he won’t change his ways.
      How have you not been out?!? The weather! You need a nice walk in the breezy sunshine πŸ˜€
      I could be a meerkat. Yeah.
      Wednesday was SO MUCH BETTER, thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ally Bean says:

    You and Tuesday are oil and vinegar. Always. I hate the anxiety that you described when your mind starts asking all the random questions that make no sense in the moment but you have to answer them now or you’ll never get where you’re going. On a happier note, clean sheets…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. markbialczak says:

    May your Wednesday be less anxious, my friend Joey. By the way, I have to go through the mental did-I, do-I at the front doorway every dang weekday morning, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. loisajay says:

    It’s Wednesday! All better? I am of the mindset that fresh bed linens conquers all. That is my Sunday night…..ah, clean sheets. Hope it’s a good one for you, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m behind at work after the last convention. I have one week to catch up before the next convention. Of course this is the week we decided to hold job interviews… My stuff went on the back burner, where it is getting used to its surroundings.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Susanne says:

    Oh, Joey. Man, oh man, I felt this. Its so hard to unwind the anxiety once it gets going and the twirling makes you dizzy and you can’t see straight enough to figure out why/how you got so wound up. I hope Wednesday works out better for you. A gazillion years ago, I used to work for a place that had a “Wonderful Wednesday” tradition of going out for a drink after work on that day. Maybe they all had Tuesday issues, too?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thank you, Susanne. I’m glad you understood my frame of mind. Today was SO much better. On Tuesday, I tend to choose water — swimming, hot shower, long bath. Wonderful Wednesday does sound wonderful πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Sue says:

    Gosh girl, you got my life!! Did I put my keys in my purse?? Double check before shutting car door. Check one more time! Where is my list??? I take phone photos of my lists for back up! If hubby adds to written list he gets the stink eye cause now I gotta take another photo!! I’ve been up since 1am. Did yoga, meditation while drinking three cups of coffee β˜•οΈ Hang on hun, I’m older than you…. it ain’t getting any better, but now I laugh my ass offπŸ˜‚ cause otherwise I’d cry😒 Happy Wednesday 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Dan Antion says:

    That’s a great way to pack Tuesday off to where it can’t do any more harm to anyone. I hope you’re having a better Wednesday.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. scr4pl80 says:

    I am not usually an anxious person (thank you God) but I do check my purse six times before I shut the front door to make sure I have my keys even though a) there is a spare house key that I can easily get if I forget mine and b) the car won’t start if I don’t have my keys so…Very happy (and less anxious) Wednesday to you Joey. PS, nice that you and hubby share the faces. I may have to try that sometime.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Wish I could send some peace of mind your way. Hope Wednesday is better.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. John Holton says:

    Extra textra choking smokers, don’t you think the joker laughs at you (ho ho ho hee hee hee ha ha ha!)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Joanne Sisco says:

    I hope Wednesday was better than Tuesday and you’ve managed to kick those anxieties to the curb.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. marianallen says:

    The freaking out when everybody else is okay and the having a flat affect when everybody else is freaking out. Oy. Life, amIright? Sheets fresh from the dryer are second only to sheets fresh from the sun. I heart the fresh sheets. I know a lady who IRONS her sheets, she loves them so much. I don’t even love MY KIDS enough to iron them. The sheets, not my kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Amy says:

    Goo goo g’joob… There I got the singing out of my system. It’ll probably be back later. I’m sorry about the anxiety. I know that feeling too well. And I hate that feeling of forgetting something. I’m glad to hear that you are getting a new hire. I hope that helps out big bunches!! Hopefully, Wednesday and Thursday treated you much more nicely. They should certainly know better. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Laura says:

    On Tuesdays we wear navy…well, at least you have a plan.
    Hopefully your week turned around.
    Who are we kidding, it’s Friday, it’s WOO HOO time!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Anxious Mom says:

    Please tell me that you have a special table in your place of business that you only let others sit with you on Tuesdays if they wear blue.

    I hope the rest of the week was better. I’m gonna find out in about five minutes.

    Liked by 1 person

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