Circle of Life Shit

Lappy lies on her deathbed, unable to get enough power from life support. Her screen shudders and where there was once a green bar, there is now a white line and a red x, as she tells me, “No more, no more.”

I’m not going to tell you mercury is in retrograde just one more day. I’m not going to tell you this is how two of my lappies died before. I’m going to tell you that before I could even type this on my phone, I had to go get my charger and I had one of those moments like, gah! why life is so hard?!

At least I never got around to ordering a replacement keyboard, so no wasted time or money there.

I’d be looking at new laptops online if my laptop could get me there … No, you’re right, this isn’t the best time to buy stuff for myself, but I will anyway. Well, soon. I dunno. My husband isn’t home right now and I’m trying to maintain my composure until he is.

It’s his birthday.

You guys, it’s his birthday and yesterday was Moo’s birthday and he’s had two days off work right in the middle of the week and he’s spent a considerable portion of it spoiling me! I know, I’m spoiled enough as it is, but seriously, he followed me to work yesterday because I left without my coffee, then he had Blanche serviced, filled her up, and bought all the cupcakes — and today he drove me to and from work! Tomorrow he’s going to the deli counter. So romantic. For me.

Yes, I am a good wife. It would be odd to blog about what a good wife I am but I’m like, the best wife my husband ever had…


The Mister deserves better than to come home from volunteering on his birthday to hear bad newses.

“I made chicken and noodles and green beans, but Lappy dies now and she must be replaced. Happy Birthday. I love you. Chocolate cupcake?”


I’d better sit on this post until he’s home.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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48 Responses to Circle of Life Shit

  1. eschudel says:

    May Lappy rest in peace…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LindaGHill says:

    😦 πŸ™‚ 😦 So many emotions for one post.
    Happy birthday, Mister. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. scr4pl80 says:

    happy birthday to the hubs. I am sure you are wifing very well. So sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine life without the lappy anymore, and I have a big computer in the other room. You can get a refurbished for less than a new and it is like new. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bill says:

    (Old me says) I remember when computers were what I bought my kids to play with, and it inter-what? Now, we plan travel, relocations of family, trips for dinner or coffee, and whatever else (blogs I suppose) around our on line status, access, and computer-ish technology. The angst of passing lappies is real. Y’all sound like a great couple. Keep doing that shit. Happy Birthday to your him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I was computerless from 97-2001. I used work one and then barely used one. Then I had babies and that was not convenient, and then around the time the wee one was 3, I got back into it. Now, utterly dependent.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bill says:

        I got all my learning done at work and got used to sitting in front of one all day. Even retired, I still spend 8 or more hours a day with my laptop. My wife has laptop and iPhone and iPad all in arms reach πŸ€“

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Prior... says:

    ah, happy b-day to the hubs – and you guys are such a great puzzle-pieced fit – enjoyed reading the text you shared too

    Liked by 1 person

  6. orbthefirst says:

    I try not to take it personally anymore when my computers die on is hard though, once attached. Gotta do the whole muscle memory thing again for a new keyboard, is the new mouse suitable? What of the trackpad? Will it stand up to my heavy handed clicking..?
    Its a mess, I know πŸ˜›

    Happy birthday to your peoples! And Im so glad yall are enjoying yourselves still. It seems that so few are these days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      New muscle memory is real, OMG you have no idea how long it took me to type that!
      New nuscke nenirt us reak, ing tiy gace bi udea giw kibg ut tiik ne ti tyoe tge ===

      UH HUH

      I, too, am a heavy handed clicker πŸ˜›

      I agree, it seems a difficult time for people. Love to you and yours! x

      Liked by 1 person

  7. What marriage means in all its true sense = Lappie dies on my time on your birthday and you are there for me! OMG! Joey you have the best man in the world! I’m swooning for you!! I thought He- Man was the best…but I’m thinking he might not do this for me on my birthday! Yeah, he would. He’s my hero and comes running to fix my flat tire when I had to do was call triple AAA.
    Woman, we are so blessed!
    You can’t depend on man-made shit, but your man…you can! I’m so happy you have a real good one! But, you need a new laptop!

    Now, where the hell did I put my laptop? I rarely use it, but when I want it I want it. I want it for this long week-end trip in the snow… but where the hell did I hide it? Hum.I don’t know!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. rvpackard says:

    Aw. Gee whiz. Golly. Hope it all goes well!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I needed a long while to establish the nature of “lappy” – namely that it’s none of your (sentient) pets. Then I drew a sigh of relief. Then I thought if it happened to me I’d be suicidal. Happy birthdays to all involved and happy wifing to you. You’re doing fiiiine.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Ally Bean says:

    He’s a good one, that fella. Hang on tight to him and I’d say keep your wife game at the level it is now. You seem to be winning.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Benson says:

    Poor Lappy and poor poor Joey. Just think of the good times you guys had. Happy Birthday Jake and Moo.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Amy says:

    Sorry that lappy died! I’ve had many tech snafus during this retrograde, but now I know to be thankful that at least they survived. Happy Birthday to the Mister!! And to Moo!! It’s good to have a husband who spoils you. You are very lucky indeed (but you already knew that πŸ˜‰ ). I’m sure that he feels just a lucky in return. I hope you find the perfect lappy that gives you much joy!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Happy Birthday to your hubby. And, I think you both work at it pretty hard to make a good relationship so congrats to you both. πŸ™‚ Now, how does one survive when lappy dies? We can’t. There has to be a new lappy immediately. Good luck with your shopping, and I hope you find a gigantic sale and then can convince one of your brilliant teenage children to set it up for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. loisajay says:

    Moo’s birthday is December 4? That’s my birthday, too!! Happy Birthday to Moo and The Mister. Condolences on lappy…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Happy birthday to the Mister! And FYI …. Life has been a bitch for me of late. I just cannot seem to get a break soooooooooo you’ve got my empathies, Joey, totally! Life! Grrrrrrr ……. !!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Susanne says:

    You ARE a good wife. I’m not sure I would be able to restrain myself from dumping my lappy woes, even on my spouse’s birthday. Kudos to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Happy – all the birthdays at your house. Sorry about Lappy. There seems to be a lot of that going on among my internet crowd.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Mine was starting it’s death throws in June. Unable to be computer-less I immediately went shopping for the replacement only to find there were very few on display in the brick and mortar stores and none of the ones I wanted to play with. I’ve had laptops for years, but since I’m mostly using it at my desk anyway… I bit the bullet and got an all in one. Huge screen, monster storage and memory, fast processor, secondary drive. I’m loving it!
    Bad timing for yours to die. Guess you’ll just have to tell your husband his birthday present this year is a happy wife with a new laptop. That’s priceless shit right there!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I had a very nice all in one at a job .. very nice. All the employees were jealous, and I was totally not caring about status symbols at my work, but because they were envious, I thought ‘well these are the good things that happen to people who show the fuck up and on time every day…’
      Thank tacos my husband loves a happy wife! Immediacy fulfilled!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Dan Antion says:

    RIP Lappy. You served well. My wife has been there. No shame in that. Not your fault. Necessary evil, and all that. You got the bets Mister in the business, he’ll take this in stride. Blessed (both of you).

    Liked by 1 person

  20. JT Twissel says:

    On the other hand, this time of year you might be able to get a deal. Happy B-day to hubby!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Matt Roberts says:

    I said it on the Book, but happy birthday to the Mister! And I’m sorry about Lappy, but a new computer is always fun, isn’t it? Hopefully you get one that can be trusted and stay true to you for many years to come.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. John Holton says:

    RIP Lappy. It might be possible to get the stuff off the old hard drive, though I’m not sure how…

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Kat says:

    Mine died right after the expense of my son’s wedding in Mexico. I didn’t feel bad at all walking myself into the Apple store and buying a new one cuz I definitely can’t do without lappy. Happy belated to your Mister. I’m glad you all appreciate each other. I miss that.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. JoAnna says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. And I somehow forgot that computers die! OMG.They do. Thanks, I needed that reality check. Happy birthday to my fellow Sagittarians! (Mine’s Wednesday.) He will understand.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. marianallen says:

    Happy (now belated) birthday to The Mister! He is the best and you are the best and each of your kids is the best and so are your pets. You need to change your last name to Best, ’cause you’re the Best Fambly.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Anxious Mom says:

    Y’all have a lot of birthdays close together!

    Laptops don’t seem to last long. I think the most I’ve ever gotten out of one is three years. Whereas my old iPad (now my husband’s) is like 6 or 7 years old and is fine, despite being used more, having milk and all sorts of shit spilled on it. KNOCK ON WOOD.


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