SoCS — Maybe We’re On The Same Team

Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you… Maybe not, cause I didn’t write that song and I don’t really need you, but I do so enjoy you and I miss you when we don’t read and write for a while. First thoughts count, though, right? Maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you. Again, no, not so much.

I hope y’all know that song, or now you prolly think I’ve really gone bonkers, but I’ve not really, I’m holding steady at slightly bonkers, which in my opinion, is where it’s at, because without a lil bonkers, who would ever do deep introspection, random asides, or untoward allusions? Would there even be gasping or laughing til we cry? Who would write the poetry or cook the food or paint the art? Honestly, I don’t wanna live in a post-neurotic utopia. I feel a little outside myself when I am more reasonable than those around me. Or when I straighten my hair. I like that whole salad bowl, box of crayons kinda metaphor for living. It really does take all kinds.

Recently I was at a swim meet thinking that you would think in a collection of barely dressed humans, you’d think it’d be easier to find someone. Your kid, really, any kid you know, on deck, should be easy to identify, but it’s actually not easy at all. Yes, yes, they seem to be all different shapes and sizes and colors, there’s plenty of variety, but while they mill around, they are virtually identical. My kid is a white one, no, no, like, there are plenty of white ones, but mine is the whitest one, and you need other light white kids to gather in hopes of singling out the one who has the whitest skin. They’re divided into swimwear for male and female, so that helps some, but in uniform swimsuits they’re kinda all the same, hence UNIFORM. They do the same lil dances and shout all the same sounds. If you can imagine, they all have feet, legs, torsos, arms, hands and heads in all the same places. Not a one of them is missing a nose or having four arms or a big back tattoo. The thing is, I’m tellin you, they’re all wearing caps and goggles and they all have swim shoulders and they’re not as different as they appear to be when they’re having  exposed hairdos and wearing their own clothes. I am always losing my kid when she is right in front of me. Sharpies, anyone?

And I thought, as I scanned the group, this is not unlike humanity overall. We express ourselves with our choices from what we do with our hair to what we wear on our feet and you would never mistake your postman for your uncle, anymore than I would mistake Betsy for Sassy, but if your postman and your uncle both wore only a Speedo and a cap and goggles in a pool of other men dressed the same, you might.

I was thinking this is a big job for our brains, finding differences, seeking them out. This is a crucial tool in assessment — for instance situations in which we may need to adapt, let alone finding our children in a crowd — but we seem to overlook the part where we’re all so close, so damned close to identical. We’re all just similar versions of the same shapes, sizes, and colors.

Maybe it’s good to remember we’re all on the same team.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday — SoCS ‘ma’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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41 Responses to SoCS — Maybe We’re On The Same Team

  1. Benson says:

    Brava. We are all the same but in different ways. I agree that a little bonkers is better than no bonkers at all. I believe in working without a net. That may explain some of my choices in life. Happy Saturday.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. JT Twissel says:

    You’re absolutely right about swim team attire – it levels the playing field. In the water you can’t hear cheers or applause – you’re competing basically against yourself. Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had trouble telling my youngest daughter apart at the dance events – they all wear the same costume, and they’re deliberately trying to look identical. I figured it out, but I had to work at it sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. loisajay says:

    I have not worn a bathing suit in years. I would be the easy one to pick out of a crowd–“Hey, pale lady all covered up……”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. John Holton says:

    Maybe you could get your son tattooed…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. scr4pl80 says:

    One of my all time favorite McCartney tunes. You are spot on with the uniformity. I can see how all those swimmers could look alike. Hard to think that you wouldn’t be able to spot your own kid but I can see how it could happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Laura says:

    This is our first try at swim team & we’ll have our first meet this month. Was already wondering how tough it’d be to pick him out…guess cheering in their general direction will have to do! 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Oh Laura, I hope he loves it as much as Sassy does! Cheering in the general direction is always good 🙂 I feel like I’m only sure of her identity when she’s on the blocks.


  8. Dan Antion says:

    I won’t publish a post inside your comment, but I know exactly that “I can’t find my child” feeling. I like where you went with this. I hope you came home with the right kid.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Bill says:

    Yep. When they are on the blocks, it’s like “oh right. of course that is her (or him).”
    Sane people from functional families always confuse me. What are they hiding? What is the truth? Which closet hides the skeletons? According to Charles Bukowski, “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Kat says:

    And it’s a good time to remember we’re all on the same team. (Ahem, I live in DC.) Thanks for this. Btw, I once took the wrong kid by the hand after ballet class and didn’t realize it until we were almost out the door. Damn those black leotards and ballet buns!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. JoAnna says:

    Right! The Human Team. The Earth Team. Water Planet Team. SoCS team! When my son was about 3 we went to a cook out and everybody was wearing jeans. At ground level all the adults looked alike. He hugged a nearby stranger’s leg and almost freaked out when he looked up and saw it wasn’t mom or dad. “Over here, buddy.” They thought it was real cute.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I’ve had kids do that to me quite a bit and it is cute on our end, but really worth being freaked out about when you’re little. Lost is so scary when we’re small.
      Team us, yep.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. bikerchick57 says:

    “…but we seem to overlook the part where we’re all so close, so damned close to identical. We’re all just similar versions of the same shapes, sizes, and colors.”

    So very true, Joey. There’s so much I could say about that, but you’ve sad it perfectly and succinctly.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Wrestling meets were the same. Six mats about a hundred kids milling about. It improved after I started coaching.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Jami Carder says:

    Weird, I just listened to that song about an hour ago. Sang my heart out to it in the car

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Prior... says:

    Ahhh – I do know the song and it continues to play in my
    Mind –
    Such beautiful humanity thoughts here – and science / psych stuff woven in….
    And glad we are on the same team –
    Although just encountered some distant cousins at a funeral who are mean – and think they need to be put on the sidelines to have some life coaching

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Amy says:

    This is so true! Sometimes I’ll be looking to see if Miss Sunshine is still on the field, but I can’t see the jersey numbers and it’s a sea of ponytails. I usually look to the cleats, but some years a player might have the same one as another (which, hilariously, they try not to do) or she’s chosen a subtle pair (is that even possible in soccer cleats?).


  17. markbialczak says:

    Yes, this is a good observation for sure, Joey.


  18. “I feel a little outside myself when I am more reasonable than those around me.” Yep. On the same team, but some more than others.


  19. Ally Bean says:

    I find it easy to remember we’re on the same team, but I am often surrounded by people who don’t have a clue that we are. Therein is the problem. The clueless swim among us.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. marianallen says:

    Beautiful, wonderful post! Sometimes, I look at the variety of people and think, “We don’t even look like we’re the same species!” But then I think about the first time I watched Star Trek (the only one, at the time), and couldn’t tell Kirk, Spock, and McCoy apart. (black and white tv back then) So, yeah, you are SO SO SO right. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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