joeyfullystated

That’s right, right? There aren’t 32 days in August. I never could do that thing with the humps on your knuckles. You know the thing? Prolly my knuckles are wrong. Stupid hands. The only thing that saved me was the poem, “Thirty days hath September…”

I had a nice, relaxing weekend. Which is why I was shocked to wake up sick on Monday. Usually I get sick when I do too much. The Mister said I threw a wrench in the works with my good job at relaxation. I had been too chill, he said. Overcorrected.

Lost a day there.

Monday afternoon was not Instagram material, although the prompt was Silence and it was silent. All the cats were snugly. On accounta bein desert animals and all, cats like hot people. I was sprawling, diagonally, across the foot of my bed. Not on purpose, not how I lay down at all, however, that’s how I woke up. I had been on fire freezing, covered in all the quilts but hours later I was just on fire, pajamas all twisted and displaced.

I thought I was dying because anxiety disorder. My kids thought they’d die cause they hadda take the bus. My mommy was not here, there was no lellow Gatorade, and no one kissed my forehead and told me I’d be okay.

Bout lost Tuesday, too, but I pulled through.

Have I ever mentioned how horrible it is to be a sick mom? I believe I have. It’s like, you feel sick like any other human, but your husband is frustrated in his helplessness and your children are like, “Oh em gee, your illness is so totally ruining my life right now.”

Wednesday I went back to work, which — You ever missed two days at your work? Unplanned? The work is still there, with new work. What.A.Day. A few clients wished me well and were sorry to hear I had been out sick, but not a single one of them sent flowers or brought me chicken soup!
After work Wednesday, we went to the world’s worst fundraiser where they force you to buy ice cream for a good cause, and where bigger ice cream is better. You ever been so happy to be standing on the sidewalk eating ice cream that the world disappeared? Like it’s you and the ice cream in a perfect moment? I could movie montage with that ice cream. That ice cream and I were practically running toward one another in a meadow. I was beside myself with the happy.

Hadda eat a double scoop waffle cone. Half coconut cream, half black walnut. Very drippy. Super happy. FOR A GOOD CAUSE. *does not remember the cause*

Thursday, Sassy stayed home sick as Monday Me. I decided to eat actual food for the first time since Sunday. I know. But I was sick. Mentor and I ordered out and I ate half a turkey, cheddar, apple, horseradish, carrot, arugula sammich on cranberry walnut bread and a cup of chicken and wild rice soup with bread on the side and a giant Coca-Cola and that was all very, very good. And fortifying. So I could make a dent in catching up.

Then I went to the grocery store and bought other real food which I will likely be well enough to both cook AND eat.

Then I went home and lay on my husband and petted him and did all the talky-talk. This is important stuff, y’all.

Today Mentor and I are ordering some Chinese. I feel ready to take on tangy sauce and sticky rice and snow peas. Mmhm. I can handle it.

There may be too much talk of food in this post. Haha, like that’s a thing!

I will work beyond 5:00 traffic. There’ll be extra kids at my house, and I will take the kids to the thing. Then there might be another kid coming overnight. I dunno. I just drive.

This weekend is a long one, and I’m glad. I have new books. (And new readers, which I bought special to keep near my sofa, because that’s where I am in my life now. I can read nothing printed on paper. I sorta need a pair on a hook in every room, but for now, sofa specs. Maybe I’ll get a chain, a really gaudy one. I’ve had glasses since I was 28, but it’s only in the last year I’ve become truly dependent on them. It’s — appreciate your eyesight, okay?)

There may also be too many selfies in this post. Although, quite clearly, my vanity need not be a concern. I’m awfully glad to be well(er).

I have decided yes, I will definitely do some good restin over the weekend, but I won’t be too lazy — in case The Mister’s right.

Happy Long Weekend Everyone! Eat tasty and take selfies!