Tag Archives: Beauty Queen

Dogs Don’t Need Porn

Posted on May 17, 2013 by joey

Until I moved to Georgia, I’d gone to the same vet all my life. That’s why it came as such a surprise when I accidentally took my dog to the porn shop at seven o’clock in the morning. You’d think … Continue reading →

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On Choosing a Life

Posted on May 9, 2013 by joey

People who don’t know me well ask me all the time, “Why Champaign-Urbana?” This annoys the piss out of me. In order to explain why I like it there, I’m somehow putting down every other place on earth. Have Y’all … Continue reading →

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

A Redder Shade of Pink

Posted on May 3, 2013 by joey

I have Rosacea. This means, in the words of my six-year-old nephew, “Your face is really red.” You can be kind and say I have rosy cheeks, or that you didn’t even notice, but I won’t buy into your ridiculous flattery. I’m … Continue reading →

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , | 8 Comments