A Theory, Perhaps…

I have this new theory. I ran it by the family on Friday and got a lot of feedback. I’m checkin it out publicly, so lemme know whatcha think.

Men most want to touch women when being touched is the very last thing women want.
For instance, I stand in the kitchen, absolutely furious that I have scalded my potatoes. My husband, being the loving man that he is, thinks a hug will make me feel better. Little does he know, I would rather punch him in the face than hug him. It’s not his fault the potatoes are scalded. I’m not mad at him. I am mad at me, the potatoes, the stove, the water, the pot, and the entire universe — but not him. A hug is not what I want. I want to rage and throw a ginormous fit.
Then, when I begrudgingly hug The Mister, he is offended and goes away in a huff, because he was only trying to help and I’ve rejected his help.
I make cornbread and black-eyed peas. Nothing is scalded. We eat. I feel better. My hugs become real again, because I’m no longer angry.

Women most want to talk to men when talking is the absolute last thing men want to do.Β 
For instance, my husband comes home quiet. I assume he’s winding down. I think he’s had a hard day, and I give him space. As the night rolls on, he just isn’t talking. He’s not really with us. He’s gone someplace else. Into his nothing box, maybe. Or maybe, he needs to talk. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
Everything is not okay. I’m not stupid.
This could go on awhile, and it could make me crazy.
Now, we’ve been married a long time, so I stifle my urge to pry and freak out, and instead I ask, “Is it me?” It has never been me. If it’s not me, then I hafta just ride it out. Generally, a few days later, we have some long discussion about what he was mulling over. On his time. On his terms.

Men want to touch women when womenΒ least want to be touched and women want to talk to men when men least want to talk.

What do you think?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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26 Responses to A Theory, Perhaps…

  1. Dan Antion says:

    I read “My husband, being the loving man that he is, thinks a hug will make me feel better” to my wife and I got “the look” cuz she knows that I would go that.


  2. Selena says:

    Married life in a nutshell! Great post!!


  3. two words: meow, yes!


  4. meg68 says:

    Not a theory! Absolute truth right there.
    The other one is why a man wants to be all “lovey” right when you go to bed with a good book….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. meANXIETYme says:

    +1 million trillion.


  6. words4jp says:

    Yep. You are one brilliant chick. I remember the day I took the remote away….to get his attention so we could talk about something important – regarding our son. Let me just say – he is the ex husband. I have nothing else to add. πŸ˜‰


  7. hollie says:

    You’ve nailed it!


  8. Deborah says:

    If he’s smart, he’ll just stay away from me when I am mad at the universe. Let’s just say he’s learning. πŸ˜‰ Love the petting charts!


  9. Luanne says:

    Re the talking, yes, absolutely. Re the touching, sometimes, yes. But my hubby is not a touchy person. Well, maybe touchy as in grouchy haha. But when we were dating in high school he wouldn’t even hold hands. Sorry but my like button isn’t working. I think it’s my out of date browser.


  10. ashytaw says:

    wow! You just said it all.


  11. Sherry says:

    Yeah, I’d say it’s pretty right. I don’t like to have things stew…Often he revisits a conversation of a day or more ago with “insights”…he calls it processing…women process on the go…men have to stare off into space for inordinate amounts of time (we call that snoozing)…lol..


  12. definitely truth! My hubby is always trying to kiss me or something when I’m trying to talk serious, and only backs off when the swearing starts, hurt because he was trying to be loving. Or I’m concentrating on doing something and really focused and he wants to come stand behind me and rub my back, breaking the concentration…as for talking, hell don’t get me started πŸ˜‰


  13. Kat's Den says:

    Straightforward, to the point, and true.


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