Shopping and gathering, done. Phew!
Tiny cross body purse so no one can make me carry a goddamn thing
So help me God, if The Mister hands me a single receipt, I will imagine shoving it down his throat and I will be ripping it up
Six hundred gallons of dermatologist approved sunscreen so Sassy and I only get a little sunburn
A vat of aloe for when we get a little sunburn
Fifty lip balms with SPF6000
Nine hundred hats so our faces will forever look a decade younger than they are and no one will see our wild and crazy hair
Five thousand hairbands for when we just can’t stand our hair anymore
One tube waterproof mascara so when I sweat I won’t look goth
Ice, because frozen water
Goggles so Moo’s eyes don’t dry up and fall out
Sarongs so no one can see the thigh chaffing
Until we’re on the road, a million worries.
How much sleep am I getting? Half of what I should.
I put a lot of hyperbole here in this post, but I am not exaggerating my anxiety or stress level.
The trauma of returning to the south — Ugh.
I truly believe constant heat and sun added to, maybe even doubled my anxiety when we lived in Georgia. I am frightened that the heat and sun will trigger that anxiety. Perhaps some mild case of PTSD exists just below the surface of my freak-out…
I’m so excited to spend time with family and friends, but I’m seriously a wreck.
I realize many people think I’m being dramatic. People who don’t suffer similarly are surely sucking their teeth and thinking how absurd, or even ungrateful, I am. People think I can turn it off for vacation.
I cannot turn it off, ever, that’s why it’s Anxiety Disorder.
I keep telling myself, “it’s just a trip. made this trip a hundred times. not like we’re movin there again.”
I shall spend my days in gratitude: I’ll have many of my loved ones, air-conditioning, fans, shade, cocktails, seafood, coloring books, music, the healing powers of the sea…and I do so love a road trip!
As everyone with anxiety knows, I will be feel much better once I leave the house.
In the meantime, while I suppress my fear, I am glad for wine. Everything is so much better with wine, isn’t it? I’m totally not drinking wine at 6am, unless you think that’s fine, then I totally am. No, really, I’m still on coffee, but later, wine.
Are you hot just thinkin about it? Do you suffer from before-I-leave-the-house anxiety? Do you need a nap?