SoCS — Not Now

“Not now.”

“Can’t. Makin gravy.”

“Can’t. Typin.”

“Can’t. Foldin laundry.”

“Can’t. Paint all over me.”

“Can’t. Gotta pee.”

“Not now.”

Things I say to my children while they follow me around for hugs.

Despite what my family says about me bein an ice queen or whatever, I am actually an affectionate person. I always give hugs and kisses morning and night and hello and goodbye. To EVERYONE, I promise. I’m an excellent hugger. I give real hugs. I don’t side hug or air hug or polite hug, when I hug people, they feel the love. Why, just the other day, I ran into an old classmate, and he commented that I hug like all the women in Italy. So lemme tell ya, I’m plenty affectionate, despite what they say.

I still hold my kids pretty much every single night. Yes, it does feel like they’re going to crack my femur and no, I can’t do it too long.


Still, while we watch tv, they cuddle up to us, and they get snuggles and petting. I sometimes think the boy comes over for a back scratch.

I pet them while we wait. I pet them at other people’s homes. I swear, my people are well affectionated.

But they’re their father’s children when it comes to hugs. Good gawd, these people with their hugs. I swear to you, I must hug them every time we pass in the house. If I can’t, because doin stuff, they DO get butt-hurt about it and pout. They will stand around until I’m done with whatever, and wait for the hugs.

They’ll move a cat or dog to get at me. They’ll remove the laptop, a book, the phone, a cup of coffee. These people are persistent!

The Mister thinks a good hug can fix any problem. Well, my problems. It’s not that the hugs hurt, but sometimes, while he hugs angry me, I fantasize about being a big green Hulk version of myself throwing him through the window. I think, I CAN’T FIX THE PROBLEM WHILE WE’RE HUGGING. YOU’RE WASTIN MY TIME! but I just say, “I love you too.”

Like most mothers, especially mothers of many, I have been through a time when I felt like people touched me too much. Hold the people, rock the people, snuggle the people, carry the people, grow more people inside me, hold the people, nurse the people, cuddle the people, rock the people, people climbin all over me, all fuckin day and night. And toddlers are like pets about the bathroom. Yes, you have to hold them while you go, or they will cry in the hallway. I recall a day Sissy cried because I wanted to take a shower and not talk to her during. Got to a point where at the end of the night, I’d be like, “We can have the sex, but just the sex. Don’t touch me, I swear to God, my skin burns from touching.”

There is so too much of a good thing.

It’s difficult to concentrate on a task with people holding onto your hand, or your leg, or whatever, and it’s just not safe to nuzzle your wife’s neck while she uses a chop knife. Oh sure, once a Marine always a Marine and nothin bad will happen to you, but your wife may well lose a finger!

“Can’t. Fryin eggs. HOT GREASE!”

While I’ve been typing this, Moo has been trying to hold my left hand off and on the entire time. She says I can type with one hand.


Stream of Consciousness Saturday SoCS ‘concentration’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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52 Responses to SoCS — Not Now

  1. meANXIETYme says:

    YES. Now imagine ALL that hugging and touching from one person. That’s my Hub. Like your household, Hub will move whatever is in front of me, in my lap, in my hands, to hug me. He needs to hug on the pass-by. He will try to get me to stand up from the chair I’m relaxing in when HE gets up so he can have a hug before he leaves the room. He will hug and nuzzle me when I have or when I’m making hot food or drink. Or chopping things. Or cutting things. Or DOING THINGS. Doesn’t seem to matter, the hug and nuzzle and smooch and touch is all on his time his terms which means ALL THE TIMEZ.
    I love him to no end, but jeezus, a little air please! For me, hugs actually CAN hurt because of my chronic pain (although Hub is very careful about being gentle) and can be uncomfortable because of my heat intolerance (the man is a fucking furnace all year ’round).
    (Do you also get the butt pats and squeezes on pass-bys too? Like it’s not possible to be within touching distance and NOT touch?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Oh boy. No, your husband is worse than mine, lol! Also, my seat is in a place where I don’t walk by his 🙂
      I do have the human furnace issue though. Half my family is like that. Mercy, I can’t tell sometimes if they’re fevered!
      A lot of my marriage can be summed up with him patting a bed, a couch, a chair, his lap, “C’mere Baby, stop and come sit with me.”
      I’m glad you understand.

      Liked by 1 person

      • meANXIETYme says:

        Again, like you, I actually am a pretty affectionate person…I hug my family and my friends. But there’s affection and then there’s… HUB. LOL
        And I DO love my husband and I DO love attention and affection from my husband. But good grief, not every second of every minute…
        I love that he loves me. I love that he loves being affectionate because I know some men aren’t. I also love breathing my own air and standing in my own space. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Judy Martin says:

    Ha!! I feel for you. I am not much of a hugger on the whole anyway! Of course, I always hug my daughter whether she likes it or not and my husband too. Other than that, not so much. Still, over the years I have got so much better. There used to be a standing joke in the office where I used to work that I had an invisible 5ft barrier around my ‘personal space’ that was not to be invaded! Now I occasionally hug my colleagues (they are all huggy people), and of course, I sometimes hug patients too!
    I could never cope with someone hanging off my arm or leg (if nothing else, I would get too hot), despite thinking how sweet it is that your children do it to you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jan says:

    My cat believes I can type with one hand as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ally Bean says:

    i hear ‘ya. I came from a family that never hugged to an in-law family that hugs, then found myself in living in a world where everyone, everywhere wants to hug me. It’s difficult for me to feel comfortable with hugging, but I try to accept them in the spirit in which they’re intended. And my husband is the same as yours about hugging me when I’m trying to make dinner. You’d think a knife in my hand would slow him down, but it doesn’t. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. John Holton says:

    Hey, I type with one hand… of course in my case I don’t have much choice…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Anxious Mom says:

    Of course you should be able to type with one hand 😀 It sounds like your kiddos are certainly well-loved.

    Little Man is always after me yelling “huggies!” Aside from those that reside in this house, I’m not much for hugging or physical affection and have perfected the art of the side air hug that lasts for half a second.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. rvpackard says:

    I still hear your girls saying “Hold you.” So Darling. And witness first hand your holding them just a month ago. Hurts my bones! Love.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. bikerchick57 says:

    I have no Mister and no kids, but boy do I love to hug (like an Italian). It may not fix everything, like your Mister claims, but it sure does help the situation.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Chez Shea says:

    I’m a hugger- but my teenage daughter is now allergic to hugs, Ouch. It hurts! I’m sure she will revert to type in time.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. orbthefirst says:

    This reminds me of the other day when I came to wake my ma in her chair and reached out my hand. She held it and smiled and patted it, looking all content like.
    “Ill hold your hand all day if you want me too, ma” I said. “But I was just wondering if you wanted help getting up..”

    I am quite the hugger too. I give GREAT hugs. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. ghostmmnc says:

    Hugs are the best! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am the anti-hugger. My daughter was clingy like that when she was little, but she got over it somewhere around Jr. High. I’d be looking for my home dynamite kit if my family started moving things to get to me. I can love them just as much from five feet away.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Well, good that we’re not closer or I’d want to hug you all the time too, Italian-style and all. I’m on the other side of the slash, while HE is busy saving the world. Good laughs. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dan Antion says:

    Father of one child…sorry, I can’t relate. I think I can understand, but you’re probably thinking “no, you don’t have a clue” and you’re probably right. I really liked the “grow more people inside me” line – that made me laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. That constant physical contact when the kids are little – totally relate. It’s exhausting. And then I’d get them into bed, sit down and the cat would want to sit on me. We’d had her since we were married and she’d been our ‘baby’ (as pets often are when you’re childless). After I had the kids, she became “the cat”.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. “Wonderful one-hand-typing SoCS!,” she commented.

    “I come from a non-hugging family. Once, in public, at a parting (my parents were running away from home) my father spontaneously stepped forward and hugged me. I nearly fainted. Good thing he was holding on to me, or I’d have slid to the floor,” she :)’d thinking back.

    “Contrarian that I am, I love hugs. My sister-in-law is from Sicily so I know all about hugging like an Italian,” she added.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. JoAnna says:

    I am moved by your honesty. Would have loved to read this even more 20 years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. A @ moylomenterprises says:

    I get this way too.
    It usually happens around 10pm when the kids need to be in bed and they’re not asleep yet. No more hugs. No more kisses. No more water. No secrets in my ear. JUST GO TO SLEEP!!!

    As a single parent I don’t get much me time so come 10pm I get mean.

    Great post as always. Hugs. Oops. Sorry. No hugs. Perhaps a friendly wave. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Benson says:

    I am a hugger too. The rest of my family isn’t. I am the anomaly.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. baldjake70 says:

    Fights the urge to get up and hug you while you were in the kitchen doing the cleaning and cooking things. You just got up…HERE I COME! READY OR NOT!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I never thought that someone could get too much hugging! I’m for all I can get, as I was a deprived, abused child. Even now, in my mid-fifties, I still will take all the hugs I can get (as long as I know the person).

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Omi I can relate. M is the hugger cuddler anytime stop work just for a hug!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. joannesisco says:

    When son #2 was small, he was like plastic wrap. Whether he was sitting or standing beside me, it was like he was trying to meld into my skin. It often made me feel rather claustrophobic. Now I miss it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Do you really? How precious. #2 was always on my hip “up my butt” and I do not miss it. I mean, there were a lot of sweet cuddles I remember fondly, but I don’t miss it. She’s got her own Irish twins now and the youngest is like that. It’s lol-able 😉


  24. Prior-2001 says:

    Liked so much here – and this seems like another post of yours that will stick with me – like the other day I had too much meat over three days and was meated out! Ha!
    And opposite of this post was a year I spent in college and did not get enough hugs – I worked with people -and lived in dorm – had social needs met – but honestly when I went back home and saw family it was a unique experience to have felt that need – have never had it since –
    And we we hugging people too – very intimate and super glad.
    And laughing at the humor you weave into your writing – My sister has a very Italian mither n law who came to mind – !!!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. reocochran says:

    I can totally relate to this, Joey. It just seems like yesterday that I had three kids and a husband who liked touching, hugging and crushing my space.
    I remember the toddler clinging to the leg. This did make me feel like saying later, at bedtime, to my husband: “Go directly to Go.” (Never to jail, just the place where Fun and Good stuff is going on. . . skip the steps to get there. Yes, this was my attitude when I had little ones.)
    Now, I like the romantic parts.
    I also wish to say, I like to be on the receiving end of hugs. It is warm and cozy. I usually am the biggest hugger in the room. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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