Joke is what you get when you smoosh our names together. Joey and Jake smoosh into Joke.
Tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary.
Isn’t that surreal?
Come January, we will have known one another for 30 years.
Why, it seems like just yesterday we had our first date…
Our first date was on our wedding night. We went to an overrated steakhouse downtown. We used a gift certificate we got at the wedding.
We didn’t date. We skipped dating.
Before we were a couple, I remember a trip to the bookstore, and I remember a trip through the Hardee’s drive-thru for coffee. I think we were adults then. *checks* Yes, he says we were adults then, he thinks he was in his mid 20’s then. That’s all I got in the way of places we went alone. But we weren’t dating then. We were simply two people who liked books and coffee and keeping company with one another. There always was that. And music. And movies. And arguing. We always did enjoy arguing.
Wasn’t dating the absolute worst part of being single? I mean to tell you, were I to find myself single again, I wouldn’t want to date anyone. I snarl just thinking about it. Icky.
It’s better to fool around with your friend in September …
I’d been sitting pondside with Tori, drinkin beer at dusk, and she asked me, “Do you love him?”
“Do you want to be with him?”
“So I can have him?”
“Cause you love him.”
“Of course I love him. I’ve loved him forever.”
“And if you love him, you want him to be happy, right?”
“You don’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him?”
Another year passed before I called HME.
“I think I might have a fear of commitment?”
“Haha ya think? Hahaha!”
“Oh no, you didn’t know? Oh Joey, I’m sorry. Yes. Yes, you have a fear of commitment. I thought you knew!”
Yes, fool around with your friend in September and fall in love over the winter and spend about a year in denial, clutching your fear of commitment and waving your feminist flag until you realize you have no control over your stupid fucking feelings drowning out the voice of your own good sense.
When we called people to tell them we were getting married, there was a lot of silence on the other end of those calls.
“Are you sure?”
“Is this a joke?”
Best joke ever.
Stream of Consciousness Saturday, SoCS ‘date’ is brought to you by LindaGHill