Let Us Pray

Moo says she prays, “Sometimes. As needed,” which I think is interesting. The Mister nodded agreement. Sassy doesn’t pray. I am not going to ask the boy one if he prays, because he’s a private person, and if he prays, he surely wouldn’t want to talk about it. I’m sure Sissy prays because her boyfriend thinks he’s God’s gift to misquoting scripture or someshit.

Anyway, I pray. I pray a lot. I count my blessings, mostly. Pray for others some. Not much in the way of selfish prayer unless one of my babies has a fever. Lawd, I am helpless when my babies run fevers. Still, I like to pray silently. I ask for traveling mercies aloud, because I do not know if angels know our hearts or hear our thoughts, and with anxiety disorder and OCD, I’m certain it’s best to overthink the capacity of angels.

My in-laws are heavy prayers, as they’re quite devoted and church-y like that.

It’s important to remember to say grace when we dine with them.

I always enjoy FIL’s grace, because without a doubt he’ll say, “Bless the hands that prepared it,” and sometimes those are my hands, and y’all, my hands need all the prayer they can get.

We do not say grace.
Now and again, with a bountiful table and a full heart, The Mister will say some grace.




A few weeks ago, Bubba stayed over, and on Sunday, I set out the kale and chard salad. I’d told him it was delicious and it happens to be good for him, but really, we just eat it cause it’s delicious.


Moo said she wanted to fake Bubba out about praying. Moo is a prankster, and I think Bubba was way ahead on nose boops that day.

So as Bubba piled the food on his plate, I was still rambling on about the kale and chard salad, talkin about how the girls snacked their way through a bag of croutons and Daddy had to go to the store just to get more croutons for the salad…

“Try it,” I said, waving my loud Italian hands.

He lifted the forkful of greens to his lips and I shouted, “Not before we pray!” And his face, oh, his face! The utter shock! He held his fork midair and his mouth made a tiny o.

You coulda heard a pin drop until we burst into laughter. Moo was still shaking silently in laughter once he’d chewed his salad and declared, “It’s good!”

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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43 Responses to Let Us Pray

  1. orbthefirst says:

    I mostly keep silent when people say grace or want to pray around me, cuz Heathen. You know. But I was once asked to say a few words about the death of a friend, cuz Ordained Heathen.
    It was uncomfortable, and apparently worthy, cuz tear inducing. And also the last time I mentioned to anyone that I was Ordained. Till now. Shhh.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Spanglish Jill says:

    Love this love this…just love it so much! And I’m quite jittery and thinking YOU are the chosen one. May I have your email addy. I’m working on my book and I need some “Joey advice”. 😀

    Now I’m craving Swiss chard and kale salad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dan Antion says:

    Just how many angles are watching over you as you drive? How many do you need? I would pray before eating “kale and chard salad” ‘cuz I’d be pretty sure it was the end times. My wife would probably pray even harder if she saw me take a helping of that. Actually, she’s a pretty good cook. I’d try anything she made (as long as she doesn’t try to stick chick peas or olives in it).

    Liked by 3 people

  4. meANXIETYme says:

    We don’t pray before food (mostly) because I didn’t grow up doing it…and Hub is a heathen. But HIS parents usta do it all the time and I would just join hands and close my eyes and think, “please don’t let me get sick from this food” cuz my MIL not a great cook. 🙂 As per your picture up there… Nowadays they don’t pray before food because there are lots of kids and everyone always seems to be in a rush and/or eating in different rooms or at different times, etc.
    I pray and do thankful thoughts and things like that in silence as needed in life. Mostly when other people ask for prayers, or if I feel the urge, I usually say “sending good thoughts and positive energy” because I feel it’s more generic but equally as thoughtful. Some people don’t enjoy receiving “I’m praying for you!” or “have a blessed day” or whatever, for whatever their reasons, so I try not to offend in that manner.
    However, if someone offers me prayers or blessings or good thoughts or whatever, I say thank you because it’s the thought behind the words that matter the most. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Arkenaten says:

    I wouldn’t dare say Grace at our table. My wife gets very upset if I mention old girlfriends.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Josh Wrenn says:

    To me, prayer, or being grateful in a spiritual manor is a private thing. But I also am taught to honor the traditions and spirituality of any hosts, so I will go along with their “grace”. But that, seeing that happen as a joke would crack me up.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. pluviolover says:

    I need to see your southern credentials, Ma’am. You said, “y’all.” Correct spelling and all.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Norm 2.0 says:

    That salad does look good, but it needs a few snowpeas. Hmm…I think I know what I’m making for supper tonight – thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Well, I think I covered my cooking skills in my last post, and while you can add me to the “heathen” list, I won’t get after anyone who feels the need to pray over what I put on the table because, you know, it can be pretty scary.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Grew up saying grace. Don’t as adults. Not sure when it stopped being a custom ? Last time I heard it anywhere was at Thanksgiving. Praying for good cooking though, hysterical. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jan says:

    My daughter Bridget the Ultra-Healthy can’t get through a day without kale and I always say a little prayer before we go to her house that a miracle will have happened and she’s serving something else but He never listens. I dunna get it.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. bikerchick57 says:

    Next time you feel a need to pray at a meal, or when at the in-laws, you can use a prayer that my cousin the Catholic priest used many years ago: “Rub-a-dub-dub. Rub-a-dub-dub. Thank you Lord for this grub.” It’s impressive, don’t you think?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Right up there with “Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat!” I reckon it gets the job done!
      The girls went to a Christian preschool now and again and they used to say that sweet little grace, “God is great, God is good, God we thank you for our food.” Darling, you know, right before the madness ensued 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  13. reocochran says:

    My breath was held as much as his probably was, Joey! I cannot believe a whole summer went by, lickety split! You were working, I had tons of work, too much really. Anyway, it isn’t “too fer” to drive to Indianapolis! I miss hilarious shenanigans like this “recent episode of the Motterns!” 😀
    My brother doesn’t like prayer, my oldest daughter and her brother don’t pray. My DIL would like to pray but seems to put up and love my son “anyway.” 😉
    The salad looks scrumptious, Joey!! Mmm-m!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. reocochran says:

    It is my Friday night “drive thru the posts and hope to catch up night!” 🙂 xo

    Liked by 2 people

  15. We get Grace three times as each of the boys say one. I don’t remember why. The two older ones say the same thing “Thank you, God, for this…” then they look at me quizzically because they can’t identify what’s on their plate. The youngest uses the Grace my father always used which is nice because it keeps his memory alive. Except the son says it normally. “God is great, God is good, Thank you, Lord, for all this food.” My father, on the other hand, liked to make a point of the fact that it doesn’t actually rhyme and so he would change the pronunciation of either ‘good’ or ‘food’ to make it rhyme with the other.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Judy Martin says:

    I don’t know any families over here that say grace before a meal (we are an ungrateful lot)! I am not christened unlike most of my siblings, (I think mum and dad fell out over religion as Mum converted to catholic and my dad was Anglican, and by the time me and my little sister came along they had given up on the whole christening idea!!!
    I do actually pray though….sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Benson says:

    When I was young we always said grace.”God is great. God is good. Thank you for our daily food.” Real simple and to the point. I am sure it was something passed down from my Grandfather,as he was some form of preacher. However I don’t think that was the grace we said when we broke bread with them. I pray;a lot. Mostly I think the Lord for waking me up every morning. Have a Happy Friday.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. joannesisco says:

    I think I’ve mentioned a few times that my mother was a bit of a colourful character. I remember her saying once that she’s not about to start praying now because she’d likely be struck down by lightning for it.
    This is the same woman who kicked the parish priest out of our house when I was a child. I can’t remember what his offense was … but she told him not to come back.

    Needless to say, we NEVER said grace in our home and I still don’t.
    … and I always wait for my hostess to eat first because I too have been punk’d like you did to poor Bubba :/

    Liked by 1 person

  19. oh my, such a delightful story…

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Anxious Mom says:

    That salad looks good. It’s going on my “try something new” list.

    When LM was little, he’d do the “ABCDEFG, thank you God for feeding me prayer,” only he’d forget and recite the entire alphabet before the ending. He’d have us all snickering.


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