I was in Hell. Apparently, Hell is a desert sorta place where the starless sky is black and the ground is red clay. Notably, the paths are well-worn. I was lost in Hell, misplaced from my designated area, and my mother was trying to help me. The hot, dry winds were strong. Tumbleweeds blew by, weighty animal skeletons lifted briefly. The directional signs spun like a bad compass and I kept saying, “We have got to get away from this noise.”
There are violins in Hell. Hundreds of squeaky, screeching out-of-tune violins. Also, I thought I saw The Wicked Witch of the West bicycle by.
The Mister woke me, pat-pat, mumble-mumble.
I took my earplugs out. “Are you going with me or not?” he barked.
“There are violins.”
“Yes. There are violins.”
I sat up in my bed, tried to piece together my reality.
The Mister stomped through the hall. He turned on Moo’s light, “Get up.”
“Where are we going?”
I thought oh fuck no, hell is no place for children. i didn’t see any water, no milk, only dead cows, and i’m not really awake, am i? see, this is what happens when you fall in love. you be all, “i will follow you to the ends of the earth.” you spent seven years in georgia and now ya gotta go to hell. fuck all.
He flipped Sassy’s light on, “Get up.”
Then The Mister stood in the hallway, his hands on his hips, and bellowed, “We are leaving at 11:30. Anyone who isn’t ready to leave at 11:30 will have to deal with me, and you don’t wanna deal with me.”
okay, that’s real, i’m awake.
I sat up.
He came back into the bedroom.
“Did you make coffee, Drill Instructor?”
Marines don’t give a rat’s ass about sad faces.
He paced the hallway.
Moo closed her door.
I felt around my head to see how hard the winds of Hell had been on my hair.
Then he yelled, “Get up!”
Sassy hollered back, “I’m just stretching!”
“Yeah, stretchin back into snuggle mode.”
My subconscious took my mother to Hell to comfort me, but in a live exercise, I’d rather take The Mister.
Who would you want in Hell?