Who Would You Take to Hell?

I was in Hell. Apparently, Hell is a desert sorta place where the starless sky is black and the ground is red clay. Notably, the paths are well-worn. I was lost in Hell, misplaced from my designated area, and my mother was trying to help me. The hot, dry winds were strong. Tumbleweeds blew by, weighty animal skeletons lifted briefly. The directional signs spun like a bad compass and I kept saying, “We have got to get away from this noise.”

There are violins in Hell. Hundreds of squeaky, screeching out-of-tune violins. Also, I thought I saw The Wicked Witch of the West bicycle by.

The Mister woke me, pat-pat, mumble-mumble.

I took my earplugs out. “Are you going with me or not?” he barked.
“There are violins.”
“Yes. There are violins.”
“Cool.”

I sat up in my bed, tried to piece together my reality.

The Mister stomped through the hall. He turned on Moo’s light, “Get up.”
“Where are we going?”
“Hell.”

I thought oh fuck no, hell is no place for children. i didn’t see any water, no milk, only dead cows, and i’m not really awake, am i? see, this is what happens when you fall in love. you be all, “i will follow you to the ends of the earth.” you spent seven years in georgia and now ya gotta go to hell. fuck all.

He flipped Sassy’s light on, “Get up.”

Then The Mister stood in the hallway, his hands on his hips, and bellowed, “We are leaving at 11:30. Anyone who isn’t ready to leave at 11:30 will have to deal with me, and you don’t wanna deal with me.”

okay, that’s real, i’m awake.
I sat up.

He came back into the bedroom.
“Did you make coffee, Drill Instructor?”
“No.”
>sad face<
Marines don’t give a rat’s ass about sad faces.

He paced the hallway.
Moo closed her door.

I felt around my head to see how hard the winds of Hell had been on my hair.

Then he yelled, “Get up!”
I jerked.
Sassy hollered back, “I’m just stretching!”
“Yeah, stretchin back into snuggle mode.”

My subconscious took my mother to Hell to comfort me, but in a live exercise, I’d rather take The Mister.

This is my Jot.

 

Who would you want in Hell?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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37 Responses to Who Would You Take to Hell?

  1. baldjake70 says:

    You said you wanted to go. So I woke you all up so we could get there at the prescribed time. If we have not learned anything from the military experience is that fun is always set to a time table, and those timetables are always rigid.

    Liked by 8 people

  2. Ally Bean says:

    I have no answer to your question. I guess first I’d have to decide what hell is, before I could decide who I’d take with me. Then I’d have to decide if I’d take a person who I liked with me for moral support, OR a person who I hated with me for revenge against them. So many issues, so few real conclusions…

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I have a list of people I’d like to send. If I have to go too, I think I’d pick someone fun instead.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. orbthefirst says:

    According to the few folks I talk to Im going to hell, taking everyone I can with me and Im driving the bus..So…

    But Im not worried about it. All the best people are going anyway. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dan Antion says:

    I’m not going if there are out of tune violins. Sorry. I’ll just stay here.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’d take Dante; after all, he knows his way around, and there was no living or dead criterion.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Mu first thought on seeing your title was that I want Puppy Cody with me wherever I go. But then I realized – hey, it’s Hell! They’d probably torture Puppy Cody in front of me. So, in that case, I’d rather just go alone (if I have to go at all).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Anxious Mom says:

    I’d probably take the creator of Little Debbie cakes. That way I get payback and tasty treats at the same time.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. marianallen says:

    I would take my mister, too. And #4 Daughter. She wrote a great book set in the underworld, and I’d put her up against anything the Dark Realm has to offer.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jan says:

    Is a refrigerator considered a “who”?

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Benson says:

    Who would I take to Hell? Well if it is like a Bosch painting and I had to go I know at least 2 ex-wives that would fit right in.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. lorriedeck says:

    Wow, that was quite a dream. I’m going to opt out of the trip there though. Not going, not taking anyone with me. Well, unless someone really pisses me off and I lose my mind. Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’ve already been there. It’s about 40 minutes north of Ann Arbor, Michigan.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. reocochran says:

    I suppose I would take someone I would want to make it more palatable or bearable. Maybe my brother Randy or my boyfriend if I could drag him down there to Hell.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. darsword says:

    Music major here. Any out of tune instruments and I’ll just stay here. I do have a music theory teacher I would love to send. But most of my teachers deserve the place with harps–in tune!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Um, I don’t even have the slightest idea of who I would want with me. I think I would prefer to go alone because other people would slow me down and I would have to keep on moving so I can get out before the devil even knows I am there.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. larva225 says:

    That question is diabolical. I honestly have no idea whatsoever.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. If Tim McGraw music isn’t piped in the elevator, I’ve really got to think on it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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