Y’all know I need to finish the back hallway.
But that’s a whole thing now. Who would I be if my hallway was finished? We’ll find out when I finish it. There are a few bits I need The Mister to do for me, and one day he will graduate and he will do them. But that time, no matter how close, seems like a dream. It’s been a long time since we had a life where evenings belonged to us. Ah, I remember it well. He’d fall asleep on the couch, I’d cook dinner, we’d all eat at the table together, we’d read or watch something, take a walk, sit on the porch, play a game. We’d enjoy our kids and pets, take to our bed at a more reasonable hour, night after night. If we wanted to have guests for dinner, we could. If we were invited out, we could go. If the kids had performances or games, we’d both be there. And, we had the option of one parent here and another there.
Sometimes when a class is canceled, he’ll remark about all the time he’ll one day have to enjoy his hammock, or read for pleasure.
Right now, it’s more like he comes home when we are all in our pajamas and Moo is sometimes already asleep. His dinner is in the oven. He has to read, study, write.
“Hey. I need you to listen a minute.”
… … …
“I am going to buy some plant hangers and I need you to put the bolts in the ceiling.”
“I need you to commit ten minutes one night this week.”
The man has no time.
We all admire his dedication and his success, but we miss the time.
Projects around the house appear to be what I relinquished when I took my job. I don’t go to school and I occupation about a third as much as he does, and I can honestly say the projects I set for myself have changed priority and are finished at a slower pace. If it doesn’t get done in the morning, it doesn’t get done. Even mini-projects like gardening and baking aren’t done with as much frequency.
It’s how things go, these chapters in our lives that get us to the next. They’re markers. I have many of them: when I was single, when we were neighbors, when I worked full-time, when my parents still lived close, when I worked part-time, life before babies, deployments, times where we lived elsewhere — and I’ve found time marches on and all the projects eventually get done.
I’ve discovered I can live just fine with sample colors painted on my walls for years, that I can endure crooked doors, and that seeds still grow when you plant them a year later than intended.
Life is the project.
Saturday Stream of Consciousness — SoCS ‘project’ is brought to you by LindaGHill