The Sound of Headphones

I freakin hate when kids get to that stage where they live in headphones. I do. I know it’s the norm and that they have to have their music and their video chats. I know that it saves me from all kindsa ‘Kill Your Parents’ music, jacksepticeye, and the sound of teenage girls squealing en masse, but sometimes I would just like to speak at standard volume and say things like, “I can hear your kettle boiling,” because when I scream, “KETTLE’S BOILING!” it sounds like I’m mad about it and makes me feel like I, too, should partake in tea time.

The girls got some big headphones with their holiday cash. When they wear those in my presence, I can at least see they’re wearing them and speak louder.
Or, The Mister and I can speak softly and say naughty things UNTIL THE CHILD TURNS TO US IN DISGUST AND SAYS, “EW!”

Usually, they wear the earbuds, and then I can’t tell. I don’t know. And they do it in their rooms sometimes, which I don’t understand, because we don’t care if they listen to stuff in their rooms, but I do know that we’re sick of WHY NOBODY COMES WHEN WE CALL?!?

Headphones_comics

I shout from the living room, “Mooooooo! Phoooone!”

The Mister barks, “Moo Mae Mottern!”

“Sassy, yell to her.”
Sassy hollers into the register, “Moooo! Phoooone!”
Moo runs to the living room, “Did you call for me?”
“Phone.”
“Sorry, I had my headphones on.”
of course you did

 

Walk into the kitchen like, “Moo, did the cats get dinner?”
Seems Moo is entranced by dishwashing. It can be zen like that…
“Moo?”
omg invasion of the body snatchers
“Moo!”
*taps child on shoulder*
Moo jumps, clutches sponge to chest, pulls out an earbud “Oh my God, Mama, you scared me!”
me? i thought she’d turn around with glossy black eyes

 

Sassy’s not much better.
I sometimes talka Sassy for a long time before I realize she can’t hear me.

“I guess we need to go feed Casey. I didn’t know Mamaw and Papaw were even gone. Daddy said he’ll pick us up and we can get coffee on the way. I’ll take the dog out. Get dressed and tell your sister.”

“Sass?”
*looks at me and smiles*
“SASSY!”
*pushes pause*

“Get dressed. Tell Moo to dress.”
“Okies. Why?”
“We gotta go feed Casey.”
“I didn’t know Mamaw and Papaw were gone.”

…Ten Minutes Later…

“Are we goin?”
“When Daddy gets home.”
“Ooh! Maybe we can get coffee!”

This week Sassy told me that one of her teachers yanked her earbud out. Sassy said, I quote, “Yeah, it’d be rude to listen to music while she teaches, but we were testing. It’s not like Lady Gaga is singin out answers.”

bacc9cea57245beb977aa18cc2c540cc

 

Sometimes I warn them about situational awareness. Okay, they would say I nag them a lot about situational awareness. If they don’t even know I’m in the room and they can’t hear me talking to them, how can they claim they’re aware of danger?

B8tyeRECEAAZOk2

 

You should know what’s goin on around you.
You don’t have to know what’s goin on in other rooms, but the smoke alarm shouldn’t be what informs you the soup is hot, which happens when you put on headphones and forget about the soup.
I tend my soups, thank you very much.

Bubba be all, “Does anyone have food?!? I’m dying!”
I yell out, “I’m cookin!”
He yells back, “Thank you!”
bout goddamn time someone thank me. fuck.
“You’re welcome!”

Y’all, he not talka me. He talka invisible game people in his headset.

life-as-a-gamer-dog_o_2692793

Then Moo runs in, “Did you call for me?”

Happy Friday Everyone!

 

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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74 Responses to The Sound of Headphones

  1. meANXIETYme says:

    The situational stuff is what gets to me. I gotta be aware of what’s going on around me at all times, including when I’m asleep. LOL If I wear headphones, I usually leave the second one hanging OVER my ear not in it, so I can both hear the music and the world around me. It drives me kinda crazy to see people wearing earbuds while they’re driving their cars…I just don’t get being so unaware of the world around us.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Text kids when it’s time for food. Declare dinner a device-free zone.

    If they don’t come, eat all the food.

    They’ll get the hang of it. They wouldn’t miss a text from their friends just because they’re listening to music, would they?

    Glad I never had to deal with that one – mine are older.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh, dear sweet Lord, that is hysterical! The youngest used to have the headphones in while in the passenger seat. I would wave my hand out when I wanted to have a conversation. Now that the phone hooks into the car speaker, we don’t have that problem. Still, I feel as if I am always screaming.
    The dog with the headphones is priceless. Is the dog’s name Bubba? I always thought that was a third child.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. John Holton says:

    Mom told me that I’d go deaf from listening to music through headphones. For a while, I thought she was right, but learned it was because of all the wax in my ears…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Benson says:

    That is funny. My kids didn’t have the headphones that kids have now. They did have big ass boom boxes that would blast their music louder than the law allows, but that was easily rectified. A few screams the jerking of a plug and maybe the tossing of the machine then all was right again. That earphones would frustrate me no end. I understand your concern about “awareness”. People are nuts so you have to be on your toes about your surroundings. Specifically the folks in your surroundings. I can’t help but have a mental image of Moo calling out “You talking to me?”- like Taxi Driver and I laugh all over again. Good Friday to you as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I’m glad to make you laugh 🙂 I’m afraid many people didn’t find the humor here today.
      I had a Walkman, and I don’t remember using it so much as my kids use phones and iPods and whatnot… I had a boombox, too. My parents didn’t seem to mind. I’m not sure how much I listened, even without the music distraction. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This one made me laugh out loud. I’ve been there completely. Those bigger headphones are great, because you can place them on your neck, below the ears, and they work fine. Your ears still work too. Your ear is still in there, you’re just not covering the holes up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      So glad you laughed, thank you 🙂
      Good point about the big headphones. I seldom wear any. I know I haven’t opened my new ones. And my new ones came with my phone in JUNE, lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ally Bean says:

    I don’t like earbuds and headphones. They bother me. I like my music over there, away from me– not blaring into my brain directly. Thus I know when people are talking to me. However now that I think about it, I might be missing one of the best features of headphones… not knowing that people are talking to me. Hmmm.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Me neither, me too.

      As an additional perk, wearing headphones and making people repeat themselves has the extra advantage of annoying them 😉

      Like

  8. This topic is right up there with smartphones. 🙂 We surrounded by deaf people – the old and the young. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dan Antion says:

    This is just the kind of post I need to prepare for the weekend, It’s funny, it’s a problem, but it’s not my problem. Thanks for sharing.

    I Like wearing my headphones at work because people think I’m on the phone and leave me alone. I don’t wear them all the time, but I have been know to put them on and ignore the world.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Don’t have kids with earbuds, so can’t relate on that level, but I do have a hard of hearing hubby (who will not admit it) so I TOTALLY get the loud voice that sounds angry, but it’s just a decibel (or hundred)louder. Like you, it sounds angry and it makes me feel angry and that sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Aside from possible ear damage (“damage” sounds so harsh; maybe with a French accent, “duhmaaj?”), I dislike headphone and would rather listen to whatever I listen to without them. I do use earbuds sometimes if listening to something on my laptop while my husband is working. But our girls didn’t really get into headphone too much and earbuds only somewhat. Have to admit that sometimes on an airplane, I’d love to be able to drown out some of the sounds/talking/obnoxious laughing, but not enough to buy expensive noise-cancelling headphones. Couldn’t they just install noise-cancelling seats?

    My favorite, though, is how some people, with or without headphones, can’t hear anything until you say something you don’t want them to hear, such as (whispering) “Here’s what I got ____ for Christmas” or “Let’s have some dark chocolate now” or something similar. But they can’t hear, “It’s time to do the dishes” or “Did you clean your room yet?” 🙂 My husband can’t hear anything when the Big 10 network is on, but although I used to be able to shut down my hearing while reading, after becoming a mom, I’m always aware of what’s going on around me.

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

  12. marianallen says:

    Janet’s right about momliness. I can ignore just about anything when I’m reading, but let somebody whisper Mom upstairs and three rooms away, and I’m there. Funny post, Joey! Your Friday funnies are worth living for!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Carrie Rubin says:

    Ugh. Finally got out of that stage when the oldest went to college, but now the youngest is in it. Even putting his clothes in the dryer or emptying the dishwasher requires earbuds. And like you, I get it, but it stinks having to repeat ourselves so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. rgemom says:

    This is so my life right now!! Makes. Me. Totally. CRA-CRA!!!!!!! Why with the headphones on when they’re in their rooms? I’ve taken to texting them rather than yelling up the stairs, because I know they’re on their phones and will see it, but I can’t guarantee they’ll hear me. Teenagers are making me insane.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Lol; just made my weekend and I don’t have to wear earphones or buds to laugh at your post cause it’s written! Have a great weekend, Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. My kids only used their headphones in the car when they were little. I can only imagine what’s coming down the pipe with #1 Grandson.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Alice says:

    I have a friend who has given up calling to her teenage daughter and just texts her instead. (As I understand it, she doesn’t get ignored any less often, but finds it more entertaining -for herself- than all the hollering!)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I want to write a sort of “oh, me too” comment but I’m worries it will turn into a 2000-word rant. So instead I’ll just say “I hear ya”. Cos it’s nice that somebody does.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Joanne Sisco says:

    You’ve just described a typical day with my husband. Like Maggie, mine is hard of hearing but in deep denial about it. Sigh. Most days I’m talking to myself. I could relate to the déjà vu conversations.
    Are you old enough to remember the TV show Green Acres with the character Hank Kimball? There are days I resist the urge to call my husband ‘Hank’. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t notice 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  20. bikerchick57 says:

    Sorry, I didn’t get to your post until today. I had my headphones on and….

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I can’t wear thosse little ear buds as thy really annoy me!
    My daughter wears them a lot though. I hate bellowing up the stairs for her 10 time then I stomp up to her bedroom and yank the door open to yell again. She doesn’t get it that I am crabby after all of that!!
    Mind you, I still think she has selective hearing! If I were to shout up and say I have som money for her, she’d be down like a shot! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Anxious Mom says:

    I remember when my brother, who is 9 years younger, went through that stage. He was with Sam and me often and would always have his earbuds snaked under his shirt and come out to go behind his ears. I hated it so much that I’m pretty sure it was one of those “You’re not that young anymore” things.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. darsword says:

    When my four were teens they just listened out loud, ya know? No headset. Walk from room to room and you’d hear metal, oldies, rap, industrial, and then my broadway musicals. Living in a two bedroom upstairs apartment I worried we’d be kicked out but our downstairs neighbors didn’t know that many people lived in that tiny place. I think my kids had the same problem with earphones as I did. My ears sweat and then I get ear infections. So I try not to use them. With all the differences in our music tastes the one rule still applies: The driver picks the music and the co-pilot, shotgun, has to work the music maker and make the driver choices happen. Now that they are all adults it is fun to see that rule still applies when Mom gets the backseat (not often, they are nice to let me up front but on long rides, another sibling or friend might take that shotgun job while mom reads on the Kindle in the back seat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      That is nice. We have similar DJ protocol established 🙂
      When I get in the car with the boy one, I suck it up, but I do ask him to turn it down some, because I ENJOY HEARING. lol
      I like that you had so much variety of music in your house, too ❤
      Sorry about your ear issues, I'm glad we're none of us afflicted that way. I had no idea that others' ears are so inclined. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  24. My kids aren’t into the earbuds stage yet, but the way they are attached to their devices it don’t matter none!! I still have to repeat myself a gazillion times before they look up with these blank stares. “huuuh??”

    Like

  25. LOL. When they are talking to the game and you think they are talking to you. That happens to me too. Their game system is in the basement so I assume elevated voices means you’re talking to me.
    I have to elevate my voice (and somehow that gets called yelling…I consider yelling when there’s anger behind the elevated voice….which sometimes happens too) when I call down to them.
    The best part is that two kids have the same ending sound to their names, so I hear them discussing “was she calling you or me?”
    I wish they would wear earbuds more often. They always think I want to hear the new underground music they found before I’ve even had my second cup of coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. You are not making me excited about teenage-hood.

    Liked by 1 person

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