Subtly Subpar Sub

I used to substitute teach quite a bit.
I don’t now, as my own children have ruined me for all other children I have grown cynical and generally intolerant of other people’s children. I’m sure your children are exceptional, but the other people, the ones who aren’t readin this post, their kids need to be given some chores, a good talkin to, and prolly they needa go huntin switches because their behavior is downright appalling.

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Subbing in elementary school, not too bad. Subbing for adolescents, hahaha. Subbing in unstructured classrooms — art, gym, music — harder at any age. I tell my kids to take pity on subs, cause well, C’mon, y’all had subs, you know.

But sometimes my kids tell me the damnedest sub stories. Like last week, with Sassy.

Sassy is the teacher’s assistant for a younger orchestra classroom. She assists her teacher and the students of that class. In our township, this is done in lieu of study hall. Long ago, I was TA in French and The Mister was TA in band.

On the day Sassy had a sub, she wrote down the names of the students who played their pieces in one column, and those who did not, or those who gave the sub a hard time, in another column.
The sub said to her, “So you’re the tattle-teller.”
Sassy said, “No, I’m the TA. The teacher’s assistant.”
“The what?”
“This isn’t my class. I work in this class. I help the teacher.”
“Do you get paid for that?”
“No.”
“Girl, no, they got you workin for free like a slave. If your mama’s anything like me, and she finds out they’ve got you workin for free, she gonna be up here in a rage.”

“I make copies. Help people tune their instruments.”
“You’re a smart girl, with a good-lookin ponytail. Shouldn’t be workin for free.”

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Rumor has it that sub didn’t make it through the day.

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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61 Responses to Subtly Subpar Sub

  1. Josh Wrenn says:

    How did that sub get certified?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. OMG! Being a TA was always a privilege. As a teacher, I chose students who were responsible and maybe needed a small boost in self confidence to be my TAs.
    And by the way, oh the stories I could tell about subs during my 20+ years of teaching. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I bet!
      It struck me as so odd. Had she never had a TA in school of any sort? Then I wondered, as the day went on and more TAs came along, would she begin to understand? Totally bizarre.

      Like

  3. Good Lawd! I really am not looking forward to sending #1GS to school and have to deal with all the dumb pass policies, stuff like this, and he on their schedule.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. John Holton says:

    I had to read that picture a couple of times before I remembered what a sforzando was…

    Mary tried subbing for a little while but couldn’t handle it. It took many years for me to understand why, when I figured out why my mother drank so heavily (she was a teacher for 37 years…).

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      It is a stressful job, and according to my teacher friends, it’s about ten times more stressful than it was 20 years ago. The amount of admin required now would shock your mother, John.

      Like

      • John Holton says:

        She retired in ’97 and died in ’00, and I swear it was the job that did her in. And sometimes I got the sense that it was less about the kids and more about the school board, the union, and the Department of Education, all of whom are now in orbit over the poor showing students are making when compared to the rest of the world. I hope they figure out that they’re the ones burning teachers out and let the teachers do their job…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow! Not really that hard to imagine. It’s easier to get a sub credential than it is to work at Starbucks. That’s because Starbucks actually has standards.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. pluviolover says:

    My sub experience was in an alternative high school in San Antonio, TX (an alternative for troubled teens). The school secretary warned me, “you will hear the f-word more than you are used to.” She forgot to tell me it would be from the girls. It was a good experience, but I would not do it today.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ah, yes, musical notation. SFORZANDO! Cymbals clash and the tympani rolls.
    Always wanted to be a teacher. Life had other ideas. Guess I dodged that bullet.
    Avez-vous un bon weekend, cherie.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. marianallen says:

    I be like: ?!? Sassy be like: “Yeah, Miss. My momma slap these folks silly, she hear I’m volunteering for free.” Uh-huh.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Some things in life are so crazy you couldn’t make it up. I worked through four years of high school free of charge helping the nuns and priests with typing. That’s what happens when you are the fastest typist in the school. 🙂 It never hurts to help out in your community.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Joanne Sisco says:

    Speechless. This has so many layers of inappropriate. Good grief!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Laura says:

    Oh. my. word. I know good subs are hard to come by but this is ridiculous!
    Then again, THIS came across my Facebook feed yesterday, and I thought I’d seen it all. Some people don’t have the sense God gave a frog.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2017/03/23/a-substitute-teacher-allowed-white-students-to-sell-their-black-classmates-in-mock-slave-auction/?utm_term=.455b3a80d980

    Liked by 1 person

  12. JoAnna says:

    This is so strange, but familiar. When I worked as a counselor and suggested to people who couldn’t find jobs that they consider volunteering in a field they would really like to work in, most of them sort of nodded in agreement, like, maybe they’d think about it. But every now and then, someone would say, “You mean work for free?” like I was crazy. I think it has something to do with not wanting to be taken advantage and that blocking their understanding that their investment of time would pay off later. Of course most of their problems were related to trouble delaying gratification.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Isn’t that interesting? I can see both sides, for I’ve considered art museum docent… For free is okay, if you can keep the lights on and manage to eat. It really can pay off, and I think that’s the point with these sorta things. Study, practice, experience. I know Sassy enjoys the additional. But if you’re hungry, that won’t do. It’s like how restaurants start you washing dishes and chopping veg. No one walks in as the manager or the head chef…
      I hear ya on delayed gratification. Thanks for sharing a new perspective. I do so enjoy yours.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Didn’t meet up with many designated TA’s over the years…seems like a good thing. Substitute teaching was open to just about anyone who’d take a minimal orientation course, as long as you had a degree. The secondary students figured this out, and treated them with a lot of disrespect, it was shocking to those of us who dusted off our certificates and went back into the schools. As for me, I subbed from K-12, always preferred the high school kids. I liked dealing with their smart ass attitude, and they didn’t want to wipe their nose on your sleeve. Saved a lot on dry cleaning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I believe now Indiana requires an associates degree, or maybe 48 hours? and there’s a test. That’s all I know, cause I have friends who do it. When I subbed, I still had a license, so I don’t know what it was before.
      I would rather be covered in wee people snot than to have a 6’4 teenager leering over me. I give you props, Van! 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  14. bikerchick57 says:

    Well, that sub is a good role model…or not. Might need to think about a career change.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. darsword says:

    sFz music class, hehe! Caught me off my music majoring brain. Sub, tough job. Always felt sorry for them. Sassy’s job? Those were my favorite things to do since I was in grade school. I’d rather be in cleaning chalkboards than out in the Santa Ana winds in So Cal. That went on even through college. I found I learned more when I could be helpful to the teacher/professor. And Kindness isn’t taught much these days. Maybe here in you bloggy world but those other parents, well…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Benson says:

    Wow. So much stupid in so few words.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Alice says:

    This is, I realize, hardly the point of your point! But I can’t quite stop snortlaughing at the “you got a good looking ponytail” detail…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. reocochran says:

    This was such a bizarre set of comments! I am proud of Sassy, this does help with many aspects of school! (and now I guess it helps her learn to deal with life’s idiocies!)

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Sounds as though this sub hadn’t got a clue! I can’t believe she called Sassy a ‘tattle-tale’ as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. It’s a job I wouldn’t take, lol. I can, like you said, handle my own kids but others give me the goosebumps.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ally Bean says:

    My goodness, a sub with an attitude. Never met one like that, but it’s a brave new world!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Dan Antion says:

    I think I might consider doing (and have done) a bunch of things in support of our local school. “Subbing for adolescents” – yeah, never likely to happen. This sub takes the cake.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Anxious Mom says:

    Heaven forbid kids not get paid for leadership opportunities. Sigh.

    Like

  24. Pingback: Writing Links 3/27/17 – Where Genres Collide

  25. You know… a good-looking ponytail, makes all the difference. lol. It seems Sassy got an introduction on how to handle awkward conversations. Hopefully she won’t encounter too many in the future!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Matt Roberts says:

    LOL That’s great. When I was in high school, our school at that time was notorious for treating subs like crap. So much so that at one point we had our principal teach us one day because they couldn’t get any subs to come to our school. At first, when I was in my early teens, I thought it was fun to mess with the subs. The older I got, the more I felt like an ass. It was disturbing how terrible we were to our subs. I’ve got stories, but I think I’ll let them pass.

    Liked by 1 person

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