I used to substitute teach quite a bit.
I don’t now, as
my own children have ruined me for all other children I have grown cynical and generally intolerant of other people’s children. I’m sure your children are exceptional, but the other people, the ones who aren’t readin this post, their kids need to be given some chores, a good talkin to, and prolly they needa go huntin switches because their behavior is downright appalling.
Subbing in elementary school, not too bad. Subbing for adolescents, hahaha. Subbing in unstructured classrooms — art, gym, music — harder at any age. I tell my kids to take pity on subs, cause well, C’mon, y’all had subs, you know.
But sometimes my kids tell me the damnedest sub stories. Like last week, with Sassy.
Sassy is the teacher’s assistant for a younger orchestra classroom. She assists her teacher and the students of that class. In our township, this is done in lieu of study hall. Long ago, I was TA in French and The Mister was TA in band.
On the day Sassy had a sub, she wrote down the names of the students who played their pieces in one column, and those who did not, or those who gave the sub a hard time, in another column.
The sub said to her, “So you’re the tattle-teller.”
Sassy said, “No, I’m the TA. The teacher’s assistant.”
“This isn’t my class. I work in this class. I help the teacher.”
“Do you get paid for that?”
“Girl, no, they got you workin for free like a slave. If your mama’s anything like me, and she finds out they’ve got you workin for free, she gonna be up here in a rage.”
“I make copies. Help people tune their instruments.”
“You’re a smart girl, with a good-lookin ponytail. Shouldn’t be workin for free.”
Rumor has it that sub didn’t make it through the day.
Happy Friday Everyone!