Bring Your A-Game

This is some commentary I wrote elsewhere, Marches ago. It is my interpretation of how awful it must be for athletes who talk to the pressย after a big loss.
I can’t speak for all of you, but not since childhood has anyone subjected me to the sorta inquisition and criticism athletes face after games.

How utterly humbling. I always feel a wave of compassion and heartache for them, even the ones who are paid millions.

Oh sure, my husband’s always there to call me Grace and Moo’s always available to point out the majesty of my morning hair…and I’m all for personal responsibility, but…
Imagine if the press documented all your shortcomings.
Oh the grand capacity of hindsight!
Aren’t you glad that you don’t hafta give a press conference every time you fail some shit?

Me at press conference, apron in hand:

“Joey, I know you had fourย pots on the stove and that roast in the oven, but did you really not know the eye for the rice was still on?”

“You know, I just went out into the kitchen and did all that I could. I could blame the archaic hanging microwave for my oversight. My feet were playin up because standin on that tile is tough. But you know, when it comes down to it, I just didn’t cook as well as I could have. I let my family down. I let my dog down. But I can’t go back and undo it.”

“How do you think this will affect your plans for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Well I’m just gonna put that burnt rice incident behind me. You know, most of the rice was still edible. I realize I’m not perfect, but we still ate some damn good rice. So tomorrow, Imma get up and cook those grits and fry that ham, and hopefully nothing will be wasted and nothing will set the smoke detector off. Imma bring my A-game. Imma cook hard.”

Happy Friday Everyone!

cooking2

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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67 Responses to Bring Your A-Game

  1. Norm 2.0 says:

    Haha ๐Ÿ˜€
    Good one! I think it’s because you forgot to give it your 110%.
    This makes me think of the scene in Bull Durham where veteran player Kevin Costner tells the kid Tim Robbins what to say in interviews

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lorriedeck says:

    Haha, oh that would be awful. Not even the cooking….imagine being asked how long I’m gonna let that fuzz from the dog toy on the floor for…or when exactly, I’ll clean a window. LMAO It would be bad…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dan Antion says:

    Burnt food is usually good new for the dog. You burn something bad enough that the dog won;t eat it, she’ll probably roll in it. At least you didn’t blame your teammates or your coach. Stand strong, I like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Sadie enjoys rice added to her food, of course, but that week, there was none left. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ The rice was burnt to the point that when soaked, the entire bottom lifted like a crust. *hangs head*

      BUT! No one was there to demand answers and show me footage! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  4. baldjake70 says:

    That are funny Baby! Let’s see the replay on that one again!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ROFL!!! Oh, I’m so thankful right now that I don’t have the press asking me about cooking, cleaning, laundry, or home admin stuff. No one would want me on their team/family!

    I always forget the ceiling fans until Big Baby Boy is coming home…then I remember them and rush to get them dusted, and then I usually have to revacuum from all the dust that won’t stick to the cloth. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There is a lot of truth here. We hold our heroes up to a standard we refuse to meet.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. That was funny. But about those ceiling fans…I had to count, I have 6 of them, I only take care of the one over the kitchen table. sigh…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. JT Twissel says:

    Actually my husband does rate each of my culinary hits and flops! Sometimes he wishes he hadn’t but it’s the Aries in him. Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. We only have a home that’s not currently condemned by the World Health Organization because, well, now I have an assistant (she does that stuff), but before – if you have a chronic illness, you’re supposed to cut YOURSELF some slack.

    I’m a great believer in doing something only when it becomes a critical matter – or I have unexpected extra energy that day. Not going to happen.

    We are tidier now that my young lady comes, but often it is more important to do something else – and the house can wait.

    As I tell her: living things first (water chinchilla and plants), most other things are cleaned way too often anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. marianallen says:

    Reminds me of an article by J. B. Priestly that my husband just showed me. Priestly was musing on what his school report would say, if adults got school reports. He was gleeful that he didn’t have to face THAT, whatever else he had to face. Mind you, having three teenage girls is very, very close to that standard of judgement, but at least they didn’t have cell phones, so I didn’t have to see the footage of my failings. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ally Bean says:

    I dunno that I could answer my cooking fiasco questions as elegantly as you did. I think you have the potential to go all the way in this cooking sport. You seem to naturally know how to handle the press. Good job.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. rgemom says:

    Thank goodness us normal people don’t have to be part of press conferences after a fail, especially after a parenting fail! Oy!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Joey, you made me laugh. Thank you! Yes imagine though having the press revealing our flaws. Good grief!! No thanks! Great post and good luck with the cooking!! Happy Weekend! โค

    Liked by 1 person

  14. ghostmmnc says:

    That would be pretty awful, to have those microphones and cameras up in your face! I don’t like sports, and the re-hash of every move …nope. Well, my signature fail at cooking is burning the bread – every single time, and even having to call the fire dept. once because of burning bread! I haven’t been traded or fired yet. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Wow. This is brilliant, on so many levels. Seriously, good stuff.

    I’m so glad that I’m a fan of yours. Will you autograph my rice pot?

    Liked by 1 person

  16. So glad that I don’t have to be held to those same standards! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  17. loisajay says:

    Joey–this was the best! Now get back in that kitchen and let’s do this thing! **back slaps. high fives** yeah.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. JoAnna says:

    I’m sure your dog would forgive you if you burned the rice.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Oh yes, it’s just how it is! And in Slovenia it’s especially hard because the media and the nation expect you to fail, sort of root for you to fail in that masochistic way of ours. Sports(wo)men must be the grandest masochists there are. Our biggest poet Tomaลพ ล alamun wrote a poem about how some guys are playing basketball, and all goes great, and various aunts arrive proclaiming how happy they are, and then the game is over and the journalists ask you why you lost the game. And you say: “There’s raspberries.”

    I’m sure the rice was good. Accidents only happen to those who do act.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Benson says:

    Now that is funny. At some of the “fine dining” joints I worked you went through a similar process after every service. Imagine a “press conference” after a failed romance or Horrors a divorce. Now that sounds like material for a new reality show.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I would think the dog would be glad to eat the ruins. This is the best. I am glad the press doesn’t interview me when I fail.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Erika says:

    One thing I hate is how they keep the cameras on players who are on the verge (or actually experiencing) an emotional breakdown. And then it turns into a gifs. That’d suck ass.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. O God, I would never be able to leave the house if all of my shortcomings were bandied about for all to mock me with! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  24. darsword says:

    One does their best and it should be left at that. On the other hand… I love the cheesy humor! LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Matt Roberts says:

    Every last bit of this. Epic post!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Laura says:

    Love, love, love it. I should print this out and hang it by the stove. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

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