A-Z through April — J
This ain’t no one-liner. I had a one-liner planned, but then, life happened.
I had too much fun over the weekend. Too much fresh air and sunshine, too many smiles, and now I have to pay for it. If you have a happy, healthy immune system you probably think that’s poppycock, but that truth will resound with many of my readers.
The Cold Sore Episodes, Take Seven. I don’t just get a fever blister, no, I run the full gamut. I gotta run fevers, get the aches and pains that go with those, have my lymph nodes swell to the size of golf balls, and of course, total lip explosion. I look deformed. That is not hyperbole. It’s super gross. Like, wake up with my lips crusted together. HashtagHellaSexy.
I feel like before I return to work, I need to text my boss a selfie, so he can mentally prepare for my hideous entrance. Again, I am not exaggerating.
Not every outbreak is this bad. At times I’ve been able to catch it and sometimes stop it beforehand, or at least lessen the intensity, but not this time. Didn’t feel it comin. *SPLODE*
Here are the benefits:
1. Lots of time in bed with my pets
I don’t know what Clara’s doin with her life…At least she visits me at nigh-nigh time.
2. Avoiding grooming
I put these pajamas on when I got home Monday. When I knew. When I knew I was in for it. Yes, I am nasty. I tell you what else, I have no plans to change them, either.
Oh, Murphy’s Law, my in-laws dropped by for the first time in months — and me in all my oozing gory glory.
Upon request, my loving husband brought ice cream home and tried to make me a milkshake. He’d never used a blender before. I did not know that.
Then he fried up bacon. I did not eat it, but he made beautiful bacon. Like, perfect bacon one could use to illustrate a cookbook.
I slurped down two milkshakes and a bowl of scrambled eggs.
Blenders aside, The Mister’s pretty good at pickin up my slack.
Having a herpetic wife does create a certain benefit for him. Wives who are freezing to death enjoy being held. This is a far cry from his ordinarily ‘cold’ wife who screams out, “Get off me!” and “I need some air!”
Of course, fevered wives, deep into delirium, who may also have anxiety disorder, may wake their husbands in the night and moan poetic nonsense about love and death, which likely erases any satisfaction derived from cuddles.
But so much of marriage is like that, if you didn’t know.
I slept seven hours during the day yesterday and only four today, plus, my neck stopped feeling like it was caught in a strangler’s grip, so I am getting better. I’ve got to stay awake one more hour to go pick Sassy up. That is absolutely all I’ve committed to. That, and well, I am leaning toward another milkshake.