In Which The Mister Buys a Chainsaw

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A-Z through April — I

If you’ve been reading me for a VERY long time, you may remember I wrote a post about how I wanted a chainsaw. The Mister didn’t think that was a good idea, on accounta how I’m small, clumsy, and weak-handed. Or so he claimed. I believed it was because of my lack of penis.

chainsaw

On Sunday, I was doin dishes when he came into the kitchen and said, “I’ll be back.”
“Where ya goin?”
“Wherever I want.”
“Whatcha gonna get?”
“Whatever I want.”

Moo said he was goin to Menards, and she was goin with, and she told him we need some Bartender’s Keeper.

I finished washin the dishes, and I thought, he’s gonna buy a chainsaw. Cause it’s baby tree time, and last year he never got those _other-_ucking, _ock-_ucking mulberry bushes out back, because the ones in the front put his back into spasm, plus that tornado branch on the side of the house, and the green apple tree needs a branch taken off …
It just makes good sense.

Homeowners on wooded lots should have chainsaws. Inevitably, it’ll be necessary, and we are a mostly DIY kinda people.

chainsaw1

He did! He bought a chainsaw!

Completely unbeknownst to me, he had been thinking about a chainsaw and watching the sale prices. The shock doesn’t even stop there! He identified and cut down the mulberries. And then he mowed the grass. In early April.

It was a magical day, and one to be cherished. I shall speak of it fondly, “Remember the day you bought the chainsaw?” Ah, so romantic.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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54 Responses to In Which The Mister Buys a Chainsaw

  1. Dan Antion says:

    It’s an important day, to be sure. I was happier the day I bought a leaf-blower. The Mrs. didn’t want me to have one. She doesn’t wsnt anybody to have one. She agreed that unneeded one to blow stuff out from under our porch. Happy day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Heh. I think a leaf blower would be a welcome idea, and honestly, I think we’d use it more this time of year, with all the maple buds. We don’t rake the back, and the front, we rake into the beds. But I’m sure The Mister would love to have another vroom vroom!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ally Bean says:

    I get the importance of this day. We were looking at chainsaws over the weekend, but didn’t buy one. Wonder if I show my husband this post if he’ll get all romantic and buy me/us one?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We have a chainsaw, and have owned several, over the years. Husband uses them to prume bushes and hedges and cut down trees. I have never used it because someone adult needs to be able to call 911.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I was just out yesterday wreaking havoc on the shrubbery with the sawz-all (the poor man’s chainsaw)…still have all my fingers, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We have one. I won’t go near it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Susanne says:

    Love knows no bounds. You are a lucky woman!

    I did stumble a bit on this section “…_other-_ucking, _ock-_ucking” and thought you were trying to imitate the sound of a chainsaw. And then I clued in.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. When we had our wood-burning stove, a chain saw and a good axe/splitting maul were vital. In our rental house, all the trees around are too small I personally think a good pair of loppers is hard to beat. I personally detest leaf-blowers a) because they’re so stinking loud and b) because many people using them think it’s fine to just blow all their yard junk into other people’s yards or into the street, rather than ever picking it up.

    janet

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I do love me loppers, and my lil scissors. I do hate the noise of virtually anything. I haven’t had anyone tryin to blow stuff into my yard… well, the tornado, but then, there are worse things 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  8. loisajay says:

    I get all goosebumpy when my husband says he mowed the yard and edged. Oh, you edged, too?! Whew! But a chainsaw…! Good on ya’, Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. oh gads loved this one!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Victo Dolore says:

    LOL! A chain saw. Now THAT is sexy. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is a great post. People don’t take enough joy in the little things anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. JoAnna says:

    We’ve always used the saws that require lots of elbow grease, but with the elbows gettin older and the trees taking over, Maybe it’s time. You make it sound pretty good.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Benson says:

    Well in the Spring a young man’s fancy does indeed turn to thoughts of a chainsaw. Also think of what a cool prop it can be for Halloween.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. April says:

    hahahaha! My husband loves his chainsaw and I always hate when I hear the thing start up. It means something is getting chopped down and it’s not necessarily what I want to have removed.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. They are very handy! Enjoy! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. JT Twissel says:

    So romantic! Right up there with toilet brush I’d say! I always say – whatever gets you through the night!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. pluviolover says:

    I will never forget my first chainsaw. How awesome and powerful can life be? The doctor thought the pulled muscle in my chest was a HA, but it was just a case of having too much fun, cuttin’ up. Congrats! Suddenly, every tree needs trimmed. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  18. ROFL!! Good stuff!
    If it’s needs a chainsaw we call someone. If it doesn’t Loppers, and handsaw are we use. I lop, He-Man does the sawin’. A chainsaw? Nope his pick axe scares the hell out me. I stay in the house when he’s using it, and keep the kids in too. I’d have to go to the mall and shop if he was using a chainsaw.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Did he let you have a go of it, Joey?? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Matt Roberts says:

    Save big money at My Nards!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Erika says:

    Haha! Now you can celebrate the anniversary of your first date, your marriage, and your first chainsaw.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. We have three chainsaws and are guaranteed that when we need one, none of them will start. 🙂

    Like

  23. marianallen says:

    Charlie has a handful of chainsaws, which makes him sound a lot more like Bruce Campbell than he is. He’s with chainsaws like a friend of ours is with cars — has a bunch of clunkers in the hopes of getting at least one of them to work when he needs one. I’m trying to talk him into getting one a little more upscale, one that’ll be cost less to repair than to replace. Fingers crossed. And congratulations on getting that yard work done. Give that honey some sweet tea!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      The chainsaw he bought has a three-year warranty, so I’m guessing it will break in year three. I will tell him not to have it repaired, I will tell him to buy somethin new and more powerful 😉 Thank you for imparting this wisdom.

      Like

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