Oh What to Take?

I believe I mentioned, long, long ago how my husband has THREE family reunions every summer?
My family tends only to see one another en masse at funerals and weddings. It exploded in the 70s, my parents blew it up, and things haven’t been right since. Peace has been made here and there, but when we all get together it’s a story of collateral damage and fortunately drinking is always an option.

This weekend, we’re going to one of the reunions my husband’s family holds, and drinking is not an option, cause that’s a sin. Pretty much anything fun is a sin — The Mister grew up with a ban on movie theatres, dancing, and girls in pants. He did secretly learn to play cards as a kid, but I forget how he managed that. It wasn’t at Bible Quiz…

Progress, or sin some would say, has come slowly to some, and not at all to others.

We Motterns will enter, the black sheep and a brown tag-along, with our city ways and our liberal, secular thoughts — many paths, all are equal, love is all ya need — crazy shit like that.

You never can tell what might be said, or what might be overheard. I enjoyed the last reunion, as much as any introvert can enjoy a room full of strangers. Some are friendly — ask you who you are like you’ve crashed a party, talk to you like you’re charged with a crime, likely heresy — Oh, they DO remember you!

 
I get to see some people I don’t see near often enough since they moved to the middle of nowhere, and I enjoy the hell outta that.
Also, my MIL gets so excited when we go to these things, she remembers how much she loves me, and makes me feel all glow-y. Last time we went, she kissed me more times than my husband did.

The Mister goes and talks to people how he does. He’s a jaw-jackin pro.

I will eat pie. This is not any ol pie, y’all. This is magical pie crafted by women who knew you when you were skinny and made of giggles. Pie crust so perfect, light, and pretty, you’d swear angels made it. Fillings so unctuous and sweet, you’d swear it should be in the sin list.

I have to decide what to take to the reunion. We’re a party of five, or maybe six, I dunno if the boy one is goin, so I have to take more than A DISH.
The girls suggested only desserts, and someone, I’ll not name names, suggested special brownies, but I’m not holding, and I’m certain, just certain, that drugging people against their will is a sin.

What Should I Take To The Family Reunion?

No, this is not multiple choice. Y’all know you’re perfectly capable of open-ended responses.

GO!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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79 Responses to Oh What to Take?

  1. eschudel says:

    I don’t know. If it’s organic, can it really be bad for you?? πŸ™‚ But if it can’t be special brownies, I vote for bacon!!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. renxkyoko says:

    Just bring 3 boxes of crispy crème. That will beat the pie.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. baldjake70 says:

    Israeli salad. Banana pudding. 😁

    Liked by 2 people

  4. baldjake70 says:

    Or tomato and cucumber salad πŸ₯—

    Liked by 2 people

  5. hollie says:

    I vote special brownies for sure!

    Liked by 5 people

  6. I feel the same way about family reunions as you do. However, delicious pie and lots of affection from favored relatives does make it worth the effort. I usually take my corn spoon pudding to these get togethers. It’s simple to make, requiring only a few ingredients–plus it’s really yummy! I’ve written a post about it if you’re interested.
    Have fun and safe travels! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thank you. I just might. I’ve grown terribly fond of the currant muffin thingies and your tomato soup! πŸ™‚
      I agree, kisses and pie are worth the fuss πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, I’m so glad you liked those recipes! πŸ™‚ If you decide on the corn spoon pudding, I think it will go over well. I’ve started printing out copies of the recipe when I take this dish somewhere as folks often ask for it.
        Enjoy the pie and kisses! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

        • joey says:

          That reminds me of two other recipes worth considering — yes, the ones people always ask for… very good. I’ll be over to check out corn spoon pudding πŸ˜€

          Like

  7. orbthefirst says:

    Roofies! Lol Or maybe something thick, to keep the jaw jackin to joeys at a minimum?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lol; another good frustration story by you. Why don’t you make/take some of that braided bread that Moo made recently (sorry but I forgot the name of that bread). At least that will be a conversation piece bout how great Moo bakes πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Say your prayers and take the brownies. I want to know the outcome.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Ally Bean says:

    I’d take a good old-fashioned relish tray with ranch dip. And then chocolate brownies and vanilla cupcakes. Go with simple foods and you’ll make friends with people who have simple tastes in food who will appreciate the simplicity of your offerings– among all the fancy food.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. What about cake? You can’t go wrong with cake! A Victoria sponge, or to really make a splash, a chocolate fudge cake. πŸ™‚ http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/chocolate_fudge_cake_03213

    Liked by 1 person

  12. pluviolover says:

    Take a case of beer, also several bottles of wine (1/2 red, 1/2 white), and I would get a “no gods required” tee as a conversation piece. A flask with bourbon is a nice touch. I’d wear a kilt, but black leather pants with chain for you (flask in hip pocket). Then when you get there, “Oh, I’m SO sorry! I thought this was MY family’s reunion.” Such fun, and your husband would receive so much sympathy. And the prayers? Oh, Lordy.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. What kind of event is this? Picnic style? Sit down to lunch? If it’s picnic I vote for your beautiful Challah. Hell, if it’s sit-down style I still vote for your Challah. Can’t go wrong with bread and you don’t have to worry about it spoiling.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Benson says:

    I have been to one family reunion and it wasn’t even my family. I was invited. I did not crash it. Speaking of which why would anyone crashed any party without liquor? Or special brownies. Pie is always well received as is a well made old school banana pudding. Chess pie or Sugar pie would definitely get any little kids jumping. The parents would love it.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I used to make these antipaso skewers that were served cold. Prep time was a bugger, because the ingredients were all cooked ahead of time. These included roasted onions that were heavenly, a cheese tortalini or two, some sausage, salami, artichoke hearts straight from the jar, and cubes of havarti cheese because it’s porous. Porous helps, because you drizzle the whole batch in olive oil and balsamic vinegar before shoving them in the fridge.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Being as we lefty-heathens here in Colorado are ahead of the curve, I’ll be glad to hook you up with the ‘special’ ingredient for the brownies. Otherwise, I usually just do this fruit dip thing…equal parts cream cheese and marshmallow fluff. Easy, and I could eat on that all day.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. JT Twissel says:

    Take a nice pillow and sexy Jammie’s!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Three families? Hmmmm. πŸ™‚ Sounds like, mostly, fun. I’d vote for blueberry crisp but that’s because it’s been on my mind as I have a bunch of berries in the fridge.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Alice says:

    THREE family reunions a summer — with NO LIQUEUR ALLOWED — and you wanna know what you should take??? Darlin’, you ever heard of this thing called a “flask”?

    Last time I attended anything even vaguely resembling a family gathering without access to booze was my brother’s second wedding. (Held on a public beach with a gazebo, hence the absence of a bar.) And I held it together pretty well (I mean, mostly), right up until the new bride asked for our help rolling up the plastic table cloths to toss in the trash.

    Rolling ’em up together with the plastic table decorations and throwing the whole thing in the trash.

    Rolling the table cloths up together with the table decor — which were plastic bowls HOLDING LIVE FISH — and throw all of it in the trash.

    “WHY SURE, WOMAN I JUST MET THE DAY BEFORE SHE MARRIED INTO MY FAMILY, I WOULD BE HONORED TO HELP YOU DISPOSE OF THESE SIXTY-FIVE LIVE FISH YOU BOUGHT JUST FOR YOUR SPECIAL DAY WITH EVERY INTENTION OF TOSSING THEM INTO GARBAGE CANS ONCE THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN SO THEY COULD GASP THEIR LAST BREATHS OUT OF SIGHT AND WITHOUT INCONVENIENCING ANYONE.”

    Sweet heavens, I have never wanted a drink so bad in my life. My 13yo niece kept trying to save goldfish from her new step-mother’s death sentence by carrying them in little cups to the beach and tossing them into the Gulf of Mexico.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Holy Cannoli!! Your niece, precious! ❀ Sad, but precious. I am just shocked to my core and will now drink on your behalf. And pour a lil out for our goldfish homies, too. Bad deal. Bad.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Alice says:

        THANK! YOU!

        On the subject of family gaslighting (cue awkward segue to my own latest blog post; pls just go with it), everybody there acted like it was no big deal, these aren’t fish meant to live a long time anyway, yadda yadda. Maybe a little strange but what ya gonna do. And my niece was treated like some cranky teen — as if NOT wanting to slaughter goldfish was another cranky teen whim, like not wanting to take off her baseball cap when she was told to.

        I cannot tell you what a relief it is, when I share that story with non-relatives and find they agree with me: that premeditated fish murder seems an awfully strange and creepy way to throw a party…let alone start a marriage.

        Liked by 2 people

        • joey says:

          It really is. My cousin had betas in water with lilies at her wedding, and she gave the centerpieces away after. People liked that. I’m just sayin, no one was asked to destroy or kill anything at her nuptials…

          Liked by 2 people

          • Alice says:

            I like that too!
            No offense to the Aztecs or nuthin, but I do appreciate the way modern social events tend more towards “ritual” and less towards literal “sacrifice.”

            Liked by 1 person

      • Alice says:

        Magical pie sounds like a much, MUCH better deal! πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  20. loisajay says:

    Potato salad! I do like potato salad–no eggs, though. Vegetarian, you know.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Dan Antion says:

    I’m with the girls, only desserts. Who doesn’t love desserts. Make the kind you like.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Joanne Sisco says:

    omg – I had more fun reading the responses πŸ˜€

    Liked by 3 people

  23. ghostmmnc says:

    Love all the suggestions! I don’t envy you the get togethers. We don’t do those. Hey, how about deviled eggs, or is anything with devil in the title too sinful? πŸ™‚ haha just kidding! Bring ice and liters of soft drinks, there’s never enough ice. Or a few watermelons. πŸ™‚ Let us know how it goes!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. JoAnna says:

    Take something you will enjoy. But I like the Challah idea, or banana pudding, or fruit salad or watermelon cut in triangles for easy handling. Anyway, have fun!

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Erika says:

    Any type of dessert that has alcohol in it so you can see if they’re willing to sin for something that looks absolutely scrumptious.

    Three reunions, though, yikes. My husband and I each have one that we’re supposed to go to each year, but don’t. No amount of guilt from my dad or his mom can get us there. Not even, “This could be your uncle’s last year alive, BETTER COME.”

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Prajakta says:

    Three ???? That’s a lot being nice and polite right??
    Go for the brownies … Will be worth it πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  27. marianallen says:

    Macaroni salad.

    Also, fresh fruit with bear whippin’ sauce. Sorry — it’s really “berry dipping sauce,” but #4 Daughter heard it wrong when she was wee, and it’s been bear whippin’ sauce ever since: equal parts brown sugar and mayo.

    And, for the third, old-fashioned rice pudding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Y’all have got some interesting fruit dips! I’m collecting these ideas you know πŸ˜‰
      I LOVE macaroni salad, but my family doesn’t. Isn’t that terrible?!?
      Oh, old fashioned rice pudding. I’ve never made it on my own. Do you? I love it. Send me your recipe?

      Like

  28. I read through the comments to see what ideas everyone offered. I am always the one who brings desserts. Mostly because that’s what I make well. I like the idea of banana pudding. My mom always makes it nice and yummy with Nilla wafers. I don’t enjoy it when its made with the whipped cream…takes away from the pudding. But that’s just me. I usually make banana pie or banana bread. I guess I love banana. lol

    And I know of those of whom you speak. Not in my home, but I did spend some of my early years in a school where such things were sin. I think my parents easily separated what they considered nonsense and we did not hold to those standards in our home, but I still have some issues that irritate me over the experience. I’ve slowly learned to take the good and bad from it and form my own opinions. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Oh, you’ll have so much fun. I’m the introvert and hubby is the extreme extrovert too. Knowing that you have a MIL that loves you made me smile because I had one of the best MILs ever, and I still miss her. Have you ever made a HO HO cake? There are several recipes on line. The chocolate cake is your favorite box cake, the white cream needs to be made, but the chocolate frosting can be from the package and warmed in the microwave before spreading.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Jewels says:

    Something made with strawberries, it’s strawberry season and I’ve got a hankering for something strawberryie. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  31. larva225 says:

    I love this Mediterranean Pie stuff I make sometimes – using the refrigerated roll out pie crust. You put the bottom crust down then layer with some salami, mozzarella, a jar of drained artichoke hearts, a can of drained diced tomatoes, and you could use some mushrooms if you want. Then you top the whole shebang with the other crust, slit it a few times to allow for bubbling, egg wash it if you want, and bake. Good stuff. Disappears.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. puppy1952 says:

    Okay so a bottle of wine won’t make the list. Potato salad? Cold roast chicken?
    I’d take a moussaka (Greek mince dish) or a bobotie ( South African curried mince dish)

    Liked by 1 person

  33. reocochran says:

    I must have fallen way, way behind! I take desserts or Italian pasta salad with olives, pepperoni, a side of banana peppers to add for those who like it and lots of Italian cheese’s.

    Liked by 1 person

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