SoCS — Motive

Motives are easy for me to determine.
I was a Why Child. I’m a Why Adult.
And if you’re into it, I’m INFJ and spooky empathic so I know stuff.

Most people are operating from ego, but they don’t admit that, usually not even to themselves. Pride is always fuckin with them and they generally haven’t read a suitable amount of Greek tragedies. Vanity sometimes gets in their way, which they attribute to the jealousy of others. Jealousy is real and is, of course, a powerful motivator as well. Jealousy is a form of fear.
So is anger. Base, but an effective motivator.

Ultimately, power is the only true motivator. Oh, we classify the power, give names to its form — money, sex, glory — but it’s all a power-seeking operation. Wanna feel safe, satisfied, understood, desired, worthy.
Some people are heavily into power and they know it, aren’t ashamed of it, and they despise anyone who is almost as much as people who have more than they do.

We’re at our best when we’re motivated by love.

But love in what sense? The absence of fear? The grace of God? The agape of humanity? The goodness of our hearts?

Doesn’t really matter.
What matters is what we do.
Most importantly, how what we do affects PEOPLE. Including ourselves.

I propose to you that even if our motives are getting rid of old sweaters, freeing up garage space, receiving a tax deduction, trading our blood for money — no matter how stupid, shallow, or selfish our motives — it doesn’t matter because it’s still GOOD. If you do all the good things for all the wrong reasons, you don’t get all the good feelings, but you do still get what you wanted, and that feels good, too.

Giving and helping makes us feel good, and that’s an ulterior motive that people don’t much like to talk about but it’s there, no different than any feel-good thing. You can watch people destroy themselves out of the goodness of their hearts, with all their best intentions on full display. You can watch them fall apart, question their faith, wondering why all the rights and goods didn’t work.

Not a fan of give until it hurts. Much more give until it starts to feel uncomfortable. Then stop and think about your motivation.

Good things with bad intentions — Bad things with good intentions — Value is relative

Do good.
Be good to yourself.


Stream of Consciousness Saturday — SoCS ‘motive’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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37 Responses to SoCS — Motive

  1. I have a feeling you are a giving person in a good way. (INFP me). πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Jad says:

    Wise words, expecially from one so young.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. SDC says:

    I’ve been called spooky for that same intuition, lol. Funny how it’s always inclusive describing the infj! #blessing/curse

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 43? Trust me, you’re young! πŸ™‚ I’m giving as many things away as possible, but I still have lots of stuff, albeit much stuff that I like. Had to look up INFJ. I sort of think “give until it feels good”, but who knows?


    Liked by 2 people

  5. pluviolover says:

    Yes, ma’am. I liked “What matters is what we do.” Frank Reagan from Blue Bloods said, “Doing the right thing may be hard but it sure as hell isn’t complicated.”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. J-Dub says:

    Very good stuff. Maybe I can incorporate some of this in dealing with some major changes I am going through. Maybe those aggressive ego types just can’t help themselves. Bless their little hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Yes, bless them each and every one.
      I’m glad you enjoyed this and I’ll be glad if it’s useful to you.
      I, too, am in a transitional time, and so I find assessment and purging are refreshing af.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion says:

    “Do good” – that about sums it up!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. JoAnna says:

    “We’re at our best when we’re motivated by love.” and “Give until it feels uncomfortable.” Excellent quotes. I think I’ll tweet them along with this post.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. reocochran says:

    Deep and powerful thoughts and the stream was wonderful, flowing today! I am trying to give without losing, losing stuff without losing meaning. . . “Do good” is a great reminder, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Benson says:

    Lovely posting young Lady. If I could pick it would be the good things being done regardless of motive. When I was traveling so much I would purge whenever I left a city. I only kept what would fit in one suitcase. As for giving I learned long ago it is easier to give stuff than it is to give any of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Your words bring to mind the Dalai Lama: “The kind of behavior that really is spiritual practice consists of refraining from falsehood and abiding by the truth, neither humiliating nor mocking others, being humble, and having a good heart and helping others.”

    If you do good for the right reasons, the feedback (from within and/or from out) will encourage/motivate more of the same. Of course, one needs to develop a way of discerning “the feedback,” but that comes with practice.

    I don’t make the connection between the Dalai Lama and Joey thoughtlessly. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You are a guru.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I am deeply flattered Maggie. Thank you very much. Just speakin my truth. Although I know these types of posts are not stat winners, they do tend to hit a few targets πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I recently took a personality test and was planning to write about it at some point in the future when I have more to say. lol. Mine was INFP. There were some traits that I wasn’t so sure about and I thought it might be the way the questions were asked. But when I took another it said the same thing.

    It’s interesting to think of motives. I am a people pleaser. Sometimes too much. I’m pretty sure often ego is involved in some of the motivation. But I hope the good intentions outweigh any negatives.
    Much to think about! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. April says:

    Great, great post! You have given me something else to think about. I know that lack of motive has only held me back. I need to pinpoint my motive and move forward. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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