Drinks Coffee, Writes

Up at O Dark Thirty cause I got a kid who’s like I know I’m an honor student and the only freshman cellist in symphony, but I also want to be a swimming and diving champion, because exercise is good for stress. Hey, do you have any volunteer work available? I don’t feel adequate pressure about being the very best me I can be. I’m halfway to thirty! Does this student planner make me look sleepless enough? Also, got any carbs? I’ve only consumed 2500 calories and a liter of water and I’ve got the PSAT and a two-hour rehearsal tonight…

Gee, I can’t imagine why so many kids are anxious and depressed.

I’m not complaining about anything other than the early morning. Lack of sleep is bad for my anxiety.


The Mister and I get it, cause we’re Type A.
These things manifest in assorted ways. You wouldn’t suspect his Type A-ness at home. Around here, he’s basically a sofa-sitting chocolate-eating depressive who snarks til we all pee our pants with laughter.
At work, well, “BUT WAS IT PERFECT, KAREN?”

Meanwhile, I’m sincerely trying to relax, but I don’t know how and I have to pee again and I wanted the soda but there were 35 milligrams of caffeine in it and I’m not shaking, the earth is moving! And now I won’t be relaxed until ten minutes before my alarm goes off the next morning.
I’m funny in that way that’s like, “What’s beeping? Oh shit, I think the pies are on fire! Hey, did anyone give the cats dinner?” Then I give the cats dinner, and I see dust bunnies under the baker’s rack and well, since I’ve got a broom in hand, may as well sweep the back hallway and since I’m in the hallway, may as well throw in a load of wash, and since I’m already in the back of the house, maybe I’ll…

Really, what is relaxing? You mean like meditation? I meditate. Non? Not like that?

How much were The Mister and I home during high school? Uh, about never.
I remember one time in high school, I helped my mother fold laundry — not my laundry, mind you, I did my own laundry — but I helped her fold her laundry. It shocked the shit out of her, and she thought I was buttering her up for something. In reality I needed her to drive me somewhere and I knew she wasn’t gonna leave the laundry to wrinkle, because like mother like daughter, so you know, if I wanted to get there, I had to step up and fold with her. I couldn’t very well scream, “Fold faster, Woman!”


I will drive to schools Five More Times today. One of those is a combined trip, though, so that’s nice. Isn’t that nice?
Dinner is at 9pm.
Course, we should really all be in bed by 9pm, on accounta the O Dark Thirty and all…



No, not like that, clap your hands like a cheerleader.

Time for Trip Number Two.


About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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72 Responses to Drinks Coffee, Writes

  1. Jad says:

    Dinner at 9pm!! Holy heck no way I could sleep on a full stomach!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. loisajay says:

    Now I am totally stressed out….Good luck with your day, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. BIG (((HUGS))), Joey! I’m learning to SLOW down. But I don’t have children either, so with that said …. GOOD LUCK!!! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dan Antion says:

    I’m stressed from reading this and I never get stressed. But, then again, I’m usually going to bed around 9:00, so…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Good job, Dan! *gives gold star*
      I only go to bed at 9 when I’m sick. I’ll be getting to bed earlier over the next few months though. I don’t want to live in a blur.
      Never stressed sounds like a dream!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Reading this took ALL my energy for today. How the heck am I going to WRITE and FEED myself?

    The time in life when you have kids at home is anxiety-provoking – you might not be doing it RIGHT.

    The time of life when the kids are out on their own isn’t a whole bunch better, but at least it’s not your fault. But if you want to be there when an if any of them choose to reproduce, you gotta learn to chill. And no coffee after whatever point in the day it ruins sleep for you.

    Advice from an older mother…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Terribly sorry, didn’t mean to rob you of energy!

      I drink decaf coffee, seven years now. Caffeine is just addictive anxiety for me.

      I hope in the 2nd paragraph you meant to say “If” cause well, I do think I’m doin it right! lol I already prepped the first two kids and they’re okay, so even if I’m not all right, I’m not all wrong πŸ™‚

      I have grandsons, but they live 1000 miles away. I’m really a lot better than I was. I have done a lot of work, but I doubt I’ll ever be cured or chill.

      Can’t help with the writing, but I’ve got a big pot of soup if you can make it over here for lunch πŸ™‚


  6. The anxiety is palpable. Deep breaths, Joey. Inhale. Exhale. Wishing you a good, if not peaceful day.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Benson says:

    I know it’s probably not right but this post made me chuckle. Sassy seems to get her achiever mentality honestly. You have an awful full Dance Card yourself Mom. Someone telling you to “chill” is like telling a snake to keep their fangs to themselves. Not that you’re a snake it is just that the “chill” gene is missing from Joey’s DNA. So drink your De-Caff.; make your soup and writes your writes and enjoy the rain. If you can. Okay!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      YOU ARE ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO LAUGH AT MY POSTS. At least a few smiles and smirks — even in the saddest, most pathetic ones, I’m aiming for humor. So THANK YOU!!! πŸ˜€

      It is like that. I identify with snake being expected to keep fangs to herself. I can do all things through fangs which strengtheneth me! πŸ˜‰

      So damn good to be got!
      Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. scr4pl80 says:

    Your post makes me extremely grateful I am a) not the anxious type and b) did not have any of those “over achiever” type kids. Mine all had activities but not multiple activities at one time and there was an 8 year gap between the first two and the third so I had some down time. Happy Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. pluviolover says:

    You say in About joey, “Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl.” Synonyms for neurotic: mentally ill, mentally disturbed, unstable, unbalanced, maladjusted; psychopathic, phobic, obsessive–compulsive, etc. I think I agree with Benson. Who else would document dialog with anxiety? And the broom thingy sounds like effective use to time, place, tools, and opportunity. Rave on, dear lady.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Right? Thanks for not sayin I should just snap out of it or something to that effect. Your acceptance of my illness and my candor are much appreciated.
      It really is effective, I just need to remember to stop sometimes πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Jewels says:

    *deep breaths*

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Victo Dolore says:

    I think I understand some of the problem. That was not coffee. It is tan colored milk you are drinking there!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. marianallen says:

    :O You are the amazeballs! Also: does your anxiety hang out with my anxiety, because they sound JUST ALIKE. And I’m like, “You don’t have to be anxious. There’s is nothing to be anxious about.” and then my feels are like, “Okay, then, let’s be depressed.” Damn the feels.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I would be stressed out having to have dinner at bedtime! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. And someday you will miss every minute of it…but then…it will be time to watch your kids do the same things with theirs. I see smirks in your future and some snark, too! Not that you don’t have those already. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  15. In my head I hear, “Breathe in, breathe out. Wax on, wax off.” πŸ™‚ I’m a trying-to-be-reformed Type A myself, so I get it. Home-schooling means we missed a lot of the craziness of driving, but still…


    Liked by 1 person

  16. JT Twissel says:

    I was never at home during high school and when I was my mother was always ironing – she ironed everything – underwear, bras, washrags.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I so glad that my early mornings are rare…and they usually only occur on a weekend when we have far drives and early games. 7:00 a.m. still feels much too early when it’s still dark outside. I’m a circadian rhythm kinda person. I woke up super early each day in Scotland because the sun came up much earlier.
    I often get on a roll… both with cleaning and with anxiety, but I do try to stop to read or bask in the sunshine to force myself to slow down. πŸ™‚ Hope you found some moments of downtime.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I am so tired, Amy. LOL
      Rollin outta bed at 5 is like a death march.
      I did get some book and a nap in, specifically, about a page and a half before my eyes were like NOPE!
      I’m glad you don’t have too many early mornings, I really am. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, let alone your gentle soul!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Prajakta says:

    *hands over oxygen mask* Maybe you should really invest in one and just keep inhaling from time to time! Man… there is type a and then there is TYPE A – and then it’s you!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Joanne Sisco says:

    A day in the life of ….

    How is it I’m retired and an empty nester and yet I can still relate to this post?

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Erika says:

    Your post is making me anxious lol! Whew. I don’t think I’ll have to worry about that with LM, because his goal in life is to do as little as possible. He’ll act like we’re monsters who make him slave away 24/7 because he has a soccer practice that takes place three hours *after* he gets home from school. “Don’t you know a kid just wants a break sometimes?!” Dude.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      He may well stay that way, my son did. However, I’d be remiss not to tell you that while Sissy always wanted to go-go-go as a kid and still does, Sassy and Moo evolved into goers around middle school time. Moo literally sings things like “I wanna be where the people are…”
      But when she was a small bean, she needed lots of quiet and alone time. Sometimes she would voluntarily sit in the naughty chair where no one was allowed to bother her! I never suspected she’d turn into a peopler!
      Again, LM may stay that way tho πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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