Privacy is important to us. I grew up with privacy and my husband grew up without any and we decided early on that privacy is a good thing and worth teaching as a family value.
We are not a snooping family.
We do not pry.
We don’t believe in TMI, but we don’t ask for it, either.
We are also a largely immodest crew and generally, an open door people. In the house. Amongst ourselves. When you are not here, we are half-naked, blasting music, and having wildly inappropriate conversations, so you can see why we don’t want to stop doing that and behave ourselves when people come to call. At any given moment we are sporting Bioré strips, eating ice cream like hogs at the trough, and talkin shit about you, and that’s why you should always, always call ahead.
That being said, certain events do require closed doors. AND THAT’S PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY TIME OUR BEDROOM DOOR IS EVER CLOSED AND WHEN WE CLOSE THE DOOR, WE LOCK IT.
When the children were smaller people, we would answer sweetly from behind the door, “Yes, Baby, what’s wrong?” and as they grew more verbal, we were nice, but specific, in our direction that they should not bother Mama and Daddy when the door is closed.
Reasons to knock include and are limited to:
When they’re small, you gotta get creative. You gotta buy new video games and put out snack food. What a special night! You gotta go wrap presents. Ooh, presents! You gotta get the big ones to take the little ones to the park. Park! Park! You gotta wear those kids out so they’re asleep early. Big day!
They get older and wiser and they hear the door close and lock — they all automatically and voluntarily hightail it out to the living room to play video games and eat snack food with the clear understanding that only in the event of FIRE, EXCESSIVE BLEEDING, BROKEN BONES, OR CHOKING, should they ever knock on that closed door.
You come out smiling at food wrappers and empty cans. You feign interest in the worgly whatsits in the game. You think you’ve done a good job as parents. Your children understand privacy is an important element in their family structure.
Until one night, when your door is shut and locked and someone knocks,.
“My phone is dying and I left my cord at Sophia’s and I really need a cord.”
“Are you kidding me? No. Go away!”
“It’s at four percent!”
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!