If You Want to Enjoy My Sweater


So, last month, Drew showed up in this thick duster, kinda woolly, a muddled mix of popcorn and knit, heavy on texture. I loved it, cept it was predominantly black and so I told her I loved it and she thanked me and then I batted my lashes and asked her, “Do you recall, did they have this sweater in other sorta Joey-friendly colors?”
“Actually, yes, there was a cream one with blues.”
“May I see the label please?”
She graciously consented.

I went home and Googled said sweater.
And it was sold out online.
I no could order sweater.
Well fuck a duck.
I really liked that sweater.

Because I am such a good mom, I took heed the pleas of my daughters who needed — neeeeeeeded to spend their Target gift cards and eat Homophobic chicken. Friday I left work RIGHT BY THE FREAKIN TARGET and HOMOPHOBIC CHICKEN to drive all the way home, pick them up and drive all the way back.

They’ve got goat cheese pizza at Target, you know. And they have fruit and Skinny Pop and ice cream and coffee and spaghetti and bread and ground beef and cheese and and and I did all my shopping at Target Friday instead of going to the goddamned grocery store.

They also had MY SWEATER. The very last one was in my size.



About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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29 Responses to If You Want to Enjoy My Sweater

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Well, lucky you. Except you sound like you might have preferred the grocery store. Anyway, I’m glad you found your sweater.


  2. loisajay says:

    I love when that happens! It was meant to be your sweater. So happy for you, Joey! We went to Target yesterday. Me: “Let me just look at the cosmetics, nail polish, end caps where all the sale stuff is……” Husband: “I’ll be in the car.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There are so many ways that headline could have gone wrong. You reined it in like a champ though.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. eschudel says:

    Nice sweater – look cozy!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nice, and looks like it will not only warm and comfy but go with several colors. Good shopping.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Benson says:

    What a lovely sweater, that looks more like a coat. You see good things do happen to good people.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. orbthefirst says:

    I spent a bunch this past year on the warm clothes. New jacket, new flannel, new shirt jacket, union suit, thermals..but instead of texture, its weight for me. If its heavy, its warm. I LOVE heavy clothes in the cold. That way I dont have to bulk up so much with the layers lol

    Cute sweater btw.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. scr4pl80 says:

    Lovely sweater. Nice and warm. I have done grocery shopping at Target too. Sometimes they have really interesting things that Safeway doesn’t have.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Amy says:

    That sweater looks cozy and I like those colors. They seem happy. πŸ™‚

    I went to Target last week because we were having a hanger shortage. People kept stealing mine and white didn’t exist at the box store closest to me. I like my hanger colors to match (yes, I really am that anal. lol.) The teens and hubby don’t care so they get the others we have. Target had no white in normal size either! Only heavy duty. But they had teal, which is the main color of Miss Sunshine’s so I gave her those and left with my white ones! Of course, while I was there, I picked up more things. How can you not at Target?!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I tell ya. I don’t care what I go in for, I come out with more. I don’t even like to shop. It’s probably a very dangerous place for people who enjoy shopping!
      All my hangers are clear store hangers. There’s a story there, but not tonight πŸ˜‰ Anal about hangers is A OK

      Liked by 1 person

  10. marianallen says:

    We would shop so good together. I would buy the black, with black and black highlights, and you would buy the creamy-blue things. No fighting!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. ghostmmnc says:

    That is a great sweater! I love sweaters, and especially long ones. I’m sure I’d pick the black one, well I do have one almost the same in black, but I like the fabric of this one you got better. How cool that you found it at the store after looking online.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Laura says:

    That is one doozy of a sweater, Joey. Totally worth every moment of Target pursuit (although, really, would it have been so hard to just put the stupid thing in the mail after you ordered it on the ‘puter??).


  13. Bill says:

    Kismet. You and that sweater were destined to be. Congrats on the snag.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. markbialczak says:

    Good vibrations, Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Anxious Mom says:

    That’s a pretty sweater! Also, that song…my husband lost his shit when Weezer played that at the concert we went to this summer. Threw his hat and screamed. I was like, don’t you EVER make fun of me for liking my band again!

    Liked by 1 person

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