My Birthday is on a Stupid Tuesday

But it wasn’t all stupid.

It was 55 and rainy.

The photo prompt was my favorite color.

thanks, maman

My bosses brought me lunch. Buffalo turkey poutine.

it was delicious

My mother sent me flowers.

My husband offered to take me to dinner, but I was too full from lunch, so he brought me this coffee instead.

venti caramel brulee latte

Took my annual progression selfie.

this is 46. dirty hair, clean face, mascara, no filter

For some reason, there’s been a big to-do about photos from ten years ago v now, so I pulled mine together for this occasion.

2009 v 2019

Do we all want me to get highlights again? I think we do. The gray just isn’t as bright and sunny. Yet.

A reminder, it’s not sunburn, it’s rosacea. We lives with it. It prefers Indiana winters to Georgia summers, same as me.

The 2009 me isn’t as satisfied as the 2019 me. That poor woman is riddled, positively riddled with anxiety. She is not livin in gratitude, she feels burdened. I can see it in her bluer eyes. She has a brighter smile, but it’s not as frequent and doesn’t come as naturally.

At 40, I started this Every-Year-On-My-Birthday blog post thing as a way to combat society’s insistence that we partake in all things anti-age. I’m the perfect candidate for this campaign because I do not think now, nor have I ever thought that my value as a person is based on my appearance EVEN THOUGH I’m a woman.

I am function over form. Our eyes are windows to our souls, our faces our canvas for expression, our bodies are tools. Nearly everyone gets a broken model and a strange environment to begin with, and it’s what we do with it, how we use it, that takes us places.

My mother, a proponent for me pulling my hair out of my face and applying lipstick, still told me it’s what inside that matters — along with a host of other aphorisms too long to list — point being she taught me to cultivate my interior. Cultivating one’s interior takes as long as it takes. Every day granted for personal growth is another day that ages our faces. And?!? Eventually they’re going to fall right down. Our faces are gonna hang there off whatever cheekbones we’ve been given, our giant noses growing, thinning loose skin composed entirely of hatch marks, freckled and blemished, drooping eyelids that are surely tired, alien hairs sprouting from hell knows where, and about this natural process, we should all be concerned? This is what you’d like to win at in life? I think I will be a lot more concerned about the quality of my life than the reflection in my mirror. As I am now.

I encourage you not just to accept your face, but to appreciate it. Moisturize it, put sunscreen on it, give it a hat — but also, smile at it.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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79 Responses to My Birthday is on a Stupid Tuesday

  1. eschudel says:

    Happy Birthday! I wish my boss would buy me poutine for my birthday…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. loisajay says:

    I’m smilin’, Joey. Wonderful post. Happy Birthday to ya!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. baldjake70 says:

    What a beautiful face it is though!
    I love that face!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. That is an outstanding point of view. You should get your own classroom to teach this stuff to the next generation. Happy birthday, and many more.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Dan Antion says:

    Happy Birthday to a happy looking Joey. Be nice to that face.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pete Nunweiler says:

    Looking great, my friend. Happy Birthday

    Liked by 1 person

  7. scr4pl80 says:

    Happy Birthday! Such a good idea to take a picture every year on your birthday. Should there be cake?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Smile! Happy Birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. J-Dub says:

    Happiest of happy birthdays to you and many more πŸŽ‰

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Prior... says:

    such a powerful closing line. makes me want to stand up and cheer – but I will just sit and finish typing this – and wish you a very happy birthday amiga πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Love those selfies, and I must say the 2009 one isn’t much different from the 2019 one. You’re taking awesome care of yourself. Happy Birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Susan says:

    Insert slow clap for excellent post and a reader tickled over the truth about ‘function over form’ – I want to be in the club!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Luanne says:

    Happy birthday, lovely lady! Poutine! It’s available in the US?!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Bill says:

    Another great Joey day seasoned with good advice and appropriate cheerfulness. Well done. Keep doing such things. You must have a photo studio with leaves. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. orbthefirst says:

    Happy Birthday Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Victo Dolore says:

    Happy birthday! I think this is the best birthday post I have ever read. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Matt Roberts says:

    Aww! Happy birthday! And 2009 you ain’t got anything on the now you.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. darsword says:

    Well, then. Happy birthday!!! Hey, I love coloring my hair. It makes me feel more alive. Not sure it looks better. Just feels better. Same here. I think your 2019 was far more alive and looks younger than the 2009. But of course, it is how you perceive and proceed that is the most important. You are gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Rivergirl says:

    Damn woman. Has no one told you you have to age along with the rest of us! I don’t want to find a picture of myself 10 years ago, that was pre hysterectomy, pre weight gain, pre rosacea (yes, I have it too). Who needs to be reminded the years between 45 and 55 are not kind? Not me!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Okay, #1 I am aging, for pity’s sake, I am. #2 You’re gorgeous! #3 You should try looking at yourself as objectively as you look at my photos #4 Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rivergirl says:

        I know, we women are tough on ourselves. But then again I just ran into a SIL I hadn’t seen in 7 years and all she did was crow about how grey my hair had gotten. Tough I tell you, we’re tough!

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          Your hair has gotten gray and hers hasn’t? Why is gray a bad thing? My mother has BEE-OOO-TIFUL silver hair and I look forward to that πŸ™‚

          My MIL knew me when I was a kid, and used to do my hair. A few years back, she helped me color it, and she was all, “Your hair used to be so much darker, thicker and curlier and…” and I wondered, Did she think her own hair hadn’t changed since 1987? Hmm…

          Liked by 1 person

  20. As I am incapable of taking a decent picture (as a subject, anyway), the world will have to keep spinning without photographic evidence of my existence. Too many alien hairs, btw.

    Great post, though, and what I have to keep reminding myself of every so often, as I am out ahead of you a bit, when all those maladies you mentioned tend to accelerate exponentially. But so long as you have someone beside you who enjoys the ride, too, that’s all that matters.

    Happy birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Now I’m just picturing you with a Picasso face covered in stray hair. Just FYI. My husband can’t take a decent photo of anything to save his life, so I understand.
      Those accelerating maladies play into the quality of life aspect, and are far more important than whether one spots and wrinkles and sags! I’m convinced a balance of walking and ice cream is the fountain of fewer maladies…


  21. Happy Birthday, and applause for a very healthy approach to aging, if it ever gets to you. You still look like a 20 year old, and frankly it irks the rest of us. πŸ™‚ Aging and the ravages to the face sneak up on you until one day you look in the mirror, and you wonder who that old broad is that is looking back. I sure get a lot of offers to hold doors for me these days though. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your wonderful family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I do not look 20! LOL I don’t want to irk people! I just reject the idea that only young is beautiful. I had grandmothers who were beautiful, who loved themselves, and I revered them. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well πŸ™‚


  22. Benson says:

    Happy Birthday. In 2009 you were cute in 2019 you are lovely. Hope your week is good and your Thanksgiving is better.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. ghostmmnc says:

    All good thoughts for getting older!
    Happy Birthday!
    Wishing you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I love, Love LOVE this post. Happy day, and many more!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. puppy1952 says:

    Joey, you are gorgeous – then and even more so now!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. marianallen says:

    Love, love, love, love, love!!! You get purtier and purtier alla time. Inside AND out. Oh… poutine…. Any kinda poutine…. HUGS and happy belated birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thank you! You do, too. It’s the light within ❀
      I coulda shared that poutine with you — instead I ate half and dog got a quarter and the trash bin got the rest, lol!


  27. John Holton says:

    Happy birthday! I think you look better now; maybe it’s the lighting in the first picture. Have a good Thanksgiving!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Susanne says:

    You are inspiring, Joey. You shine, shine, shine! Happy birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. JT Twissel says:

    The 26th is a good day. I was born on a 26th. Yellow is my favorite color as well. You are adorable and I hope this trip around the sun is a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. meANXIETYme says:

    Happy birthday to you and your smiling face. And the rest of you, too. πŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Kat says:

    Happy belated birthday. What a difference ten years make, huh? Your soul shines through your face.


  32. Reblogged this on Where Genres Collide Traci Kenworth YA Author & Book Blogger and commented:
    Like you’re outlook, Joey! A great way to approach life! Happy late b-day!


  33. Tara says:

    Happy Birthday! I think this inner work stuffs agrees with you — you look younger in the current photo. πŸ™‚


  34. Anxious Mom says:

    Happy belated birthday! I know I’m happier than I was 10 years ago, too, but oof I still don’t like getting older. Mostly *feeling* older.


  35. Amy says:

    Happy Belated Birthday, Joey!! I’m glad that a Tuesday birthday treated you well. I’m glad that the 2019 Joey is more satisfied than the 2009 Joey. It’s a blessing that the wisdom of time teaches us many things. Cultivating our interior…I love that! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Well, happy very belated birthday! You look fabulous! I like this blog. I have never been one to mind telling my age, it’s just a number. Plus, I think life gets better by age other than a few health problems, sigh. I hope you have a great new year! πŸ™‚


  37. I take your +10 any time. You are moving in the right direction. Cin cin and do not stop what you’re doing.


  38. JoAnna says:

    Happy Birthday month, sister Sagittarian! Your wisdom inspires me and my wild alien hairs < lol.


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