I’m Not 29 Forever

I’m 40 today.
Forty.Years.Old.
I’m vintage, heh.

This is what 40 looks like.
Me, today.

40th1 050

That’s 40 without surgical or chemical intervention. No anti-aging products, none of whatever they tell you will make you look twenty, none of that. I’m not airbrushed, and there’s no filter. I have never whitened my teeth. The only make-up in that photo is some mascara. I hadn’t even put on my lip gloss yet.

I have a line in the center of my forehead. It’s a hard-earned line, from giving people “the look” for most of my life. I own it. It’s mine.
I’ve also got burgeoning marionette lines. I think because I am a happy human, who smiles and laughs often.
It doesn’t bother me.
When I am 80, I will look back at this photo and see a young woman who is standing before her husband, ready to head to Starbucks for a special birthday cuppa. I will smile fondly.

I’m telling you this because thanks to everyone having procedures and the media’s obsession with youth, I have absolutely no idea what 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 or 90 actually looks like anymore. I refuse to believe that age renders beauty obsolete.

How does 40 feel? Meh.
I’m still me.
Over the last decade, I’ve noticed the increase in pedicures and gray hairs, the thinning of my eyebrows, the sag of my breasts, the overall looseness in my skin, and the freckling. Oh, the freckling. The veins in my handsΒ are more prominent. I’ve developed visible pores on the left side of my nose.
And?
I should care because?

The list of things I can accomplish in one day is still quite long, but it’s not as long as it was at 20.
I’m NOT 20 anymore.

Honestly, I was never good at being 20.
Old soul.
Wise beyond my years.
Blah, blah, blah.

But, in the last decade, I’ve noticed that people pay more attention to me when I speak. I derive a great deal more pleasure from being taken seriously than I ever did from looking good in a bikini. I traded up. I’ve got forty years of memories and wisdom, and when I’m just too tired to cross another accomplishment off my list, I can get upset about it, or I can accept it.
I accept it.
Eventually, I plan to accept nodding off while sitting up, lines all over my face, a full head of unruly white hair, paper-thin skin that jiggles with my every move, liver spots, yellow ridged nails, grandchildren who play with my wattle, and breasts like tube socks…

age

So yes, I will gladly bear the title of 40, because that’s exactly how many years I’ve been given, and y’all know how I feel about gratitude.

*falls into the sofa, pulls afghan over her lap, pets her cat, slips her glasses on, takes a sip of coffee, and begins quilting*

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
This entry was posted in Personally, Random Musings and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to I’m Not 29 Forever

  1. Happy birthday Joey and welcome to the club! πŸ˜‰

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  2. meANXIETYme says:

    Oh yeah, welcome to that amazing club! Seriously, for me, forty wasn’t much different than thirty-nine or thirty-eight. It’s what you make of it and how you handle it. Obviously you are handling it be-yoo-tifully! Your pic is gorgeous and I love how you embrace who you are. Happy birthday!

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  3. Rob Roberts says:

    Happy Birthday momma πŸ™‚ I hope I look that good at 40!

    7 months and 4 days….:P

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  4. words4jp says:

    Happy birthday my dear!! You look like you are a teenager – really. Welcome to the 40 club. I love your attitude. πŸ˜‰

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  5. Jewels says:

    Happy 40th birthday Joey! Sounds like you’re taking this whole aging thing like a champ. πŸ˜‰ You’re so cute in your photo!

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  6. Aussa Lorens says:

    Ah! I love absolutely everything about this! You look great and your attitude is incredible– I love how you said “I was never good at being 20.” Oh my gosh, how I relate to this! I think 27 is the first age I feel like I’m going okay with πŸ˜‰ This post was an inspiration, thank you for writing it.

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  7. A belated Happy Birthday! πŸ™‚

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  8. Kaufman's Kavalkade says:

    Shoot, I’d be happy to be 40 again,haha. have 4 years on ya.

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  9. kiandraq says:

    Happy (belated) Birthday!!!

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  10. Sherry says:

    Sorry for missing the day..My reader died and I’ve been spending time setting up a new one. Now I must get busy in the kitchen since it’s “cook you damn ass off day”. I’m way ahead of the game so it’s a leisurely cook off for me. Husband is doing the turkey on the grill. I’ll post some new recipes on the food blog should they turn out. Have a great happy turkey day!

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  11. Happy Birthday to you. I am late in my wishes, which is a shame, but I hope you had a lovely day. Your attitude to life and ageing are ‘spot on’ in my opinion, and you will always look beautiful to those who love you, regardless of your age. I cling to that hope anyway

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  12. Pingback: Group Therapy: November’s Top Comments « HACKER. NINJA. HOOKER. SPY.

  13. wvtallchic says:

    I’m a wee, tiny bit late here, but Happy Birthday anyway. πŸ™‚

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  14. Matt Roberts says:

    The way you are, the way you look, WHO you are, it amazes me you’re 40. You don’t look it. You don’t act it. You’re amazing. I have never understood the cosmetic surgeries for anybody who hasn’t been in a nasty fire or had cancer. I appreciate anybody who wants to be THEM, no matter what age they are. I don’t feel 34 and remind myself all the time that I’m 34. It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t feel it. Keep being you doll, you’re amazing at it.

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    • Thanks so much! I think I’d consider that eyelid surgery, if my vision was impaired. But honestly, I think it’s great to be older — Old people are wise and stuff!

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      • Matt Roberts says:

        Yes, exactly. We earned this age, it wasn’t given to us. There’s no shame in being or getting older. That’s why I have no intention to color my gray hair. I earned that shit too.

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        • Uh…well I’m guilty about that, lol! But not because it’s gray, rather because it’s not pretty yet — but it will be, one day!

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          • Matt Roberts says:

            I’m not saying you, or anybody, shouldn’t dye their hair. I just chose not to. And then I saw where dying your hair gray is a thing now, so that should say something lol.

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