Rather than sit on the hard, concrete hard bleachers and spectate at swim, I’ve been timing swimmers. The Mister has done this for a long time, but I only started a few months ago. You must understand: giving me a small electronic device with buttons and numbers isn’t advised. I don’t know if you understand. I’m pretty sure Bubba’s the only one who can truly understand my horror, because more than anyone, Bubba has had to assist me with small electronic devices and their buttons, let alone numbers.
I wasn’t timing before because I was sure I would muck it up. Then one day one of the Swim Moms who isn’t my husband emailed about the need for timers. She wrote, “Don’t be afraid, you can do it, we can show you how!” So I bravely responded with “I am afraid, but I will do it.”
That’s why a man gave me a small electronic device with buttons and numbers and said Blar push, blar blah, yadda-yadda reset, blar. Everyone nodded and I immediately asked The Mister, “What?” My husband began explaining to me and it sounded very mansplain-y, so I nodded to him, too. Then I casually walked over to a group of mommies and asked, “Can you show me how to work the buttons?” and a mommy showed me, and it was easy, and I didn’t muck it up.
HOWEVER, some of the stopwatches are jacked. All the lil round black ones seem to be troubled.
So, the other night, when I went to the meet, I was delighted to see I had been given a square red stopwatch with my clipboard. We timed the first 10 or so events and then during diving, The Mister and I stepped away briefly. When we returned, he stopped to talk to someone while I proceeded to my seat WHERE ANOTHER MOM SAT.
She was sitting in my seat, holding my clipboard and my pencil. I had no idea what to say. These are not technically my belongings, but are loaned to me for a short spell. We all get what we get. It’s not assigned or anything. Pick a lane and commit for a few hours. I couldn’t imagine why she’d want my spot. Not wanting to seem territorial or anything, I said, “Hi!” in my upbeat way. This seemed to startle her and she said Hi, but warily. I sat down beside her. I sat there with her stupid round black stopwatch, her clipboard, and her pencil, and I wondered if my husband would time with her and I would time with her husband or if either husband would attempt a correction. I don’t know the last time I felt so awkward and bewildered, I’m imagining math at a chalkboard.
Diving finished and some time passed before the mom finally shouted, “Oh! This isn’t my seat! I’m sitting in your seat! Now I know why you looked at me crazy! I see this isn’t my handwriting, and this isn’t my sheet!” We had a good laugh and we switched back. And don’t you know I was happy to have the square red stopwatch again?
Here’s a funny, awkward, bewildering video, it’s worth the click, ferreal:
Happy Friday Everyone!
May your weekend lack awkwardness and bewilderment and may you share many good laughs.