26 Random Things About Me

1.  My birthday is November 26.

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2. I believe in numerology and despite my fear of and ineptitude with math, I believe numbers are codes for everything.  For instance, name-wise, my entire family consists of only 5’s, 6’s, 7’s and 8’s.

3. I also believe in astrology, and I don’t understand why people believe the moon works the tides, while at the same time believing the position of the planets has no effect on them.  I was eight when I picked up my first astrology book.  You could say I never put it down.

4. I am a cat person.  I’ve lived with at least one cat for most of my life.  I secretly love my dog more than any animal I’ve ever lived with.  And by secretly, I mean, don’t tell the cats.

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5. I have known and been friends with my husband since we were teenagers.  It took more than ten years to move to kissing.

6. I claim four children, although two were only mine to raise daily for eight years or so.

7. We refer to our children as Lazy, Weepy, Demanding and Monkey.  We have pet names we call them to their faces; Bubba, Boy One, Sissy, Muffin, Sassy, Button, Moo Moo…but we know who they really are.  *nods*

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8.  I have loud Italian hands.  In the event of a topic that promotes speaking with fervor, please back up or seek shelter.

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9.  I have a fairly serious soda addiction.  I try not to buy it, I try not to drink it, I try not to hang out with people who drink it, but alas, I can scarcely go a day without.

10.  I am a slut in recovery, married to a ruthless tease.  Every day is a challenge.

11.  I haven’t read more than a chapter of Harry Potter books.

12.  I am a good cook.

13.  I will never be able to finish this post, because I can’t stop switching windows to play Scrabble with my friend, Tracey.

14.  I am a child of divorce.   Yes, I am starved for approval.  However did you know?

15.  My father’s gay.  Yes, I was an extremely well-dressed child, thank you very much.

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16.  I am allergic to long list of things, but for our purposes here, the only one you need to worry about is drama.

17.  I have an epi pen in the event of a yellow jacket incident, but I am terrified to use it.  If one day I am found dead with my panties down and a needle in my hand, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make any assumptions.

18.  I’ve been living in the deep south for the last two thousand four hundred and thirty-one days.

19.  I have been hot, sweaty, tan and often sunburnt for most of those days.  I hate the heat.  My body is northern.

20.  I have no religion.  Well, technically, I’m a Unitarian.  If you are any other religion or have no religion at all, I don’t care, because Unitarians embrace all people and all faiths or even lack thereof.  I know people don’t think it’s a real religion, because it doesn’t have a doctrine by which its parishioners can berate others, and the Unitarians aren’t even compelled to attend services, but it’s all I got.  Unless you wanna talk about my heathen tendencies?  Non?

21.   I am proficient in French.  I also understand quite a bit of Italian and Spanish, although I can’t write or speak them for crap.  I end up saying things like, “I need a house with a bigger pig.”   So, for now, I’ll just stick to eavesdropping.

22.  I prefer almost everything I consume to be as close to room temperature as possible.  I don’t like ice in my drinks, I microwave my ice cream, and I let everything else sit for five to ten minutes before I’ll touch it.

23.  I suck at sports and I don’t have a competitive bone in my body.  You do not want me on your team.

24.  I don’t watch scary movies.  Now and again, I try, but I end up convinced for weeks that the aliens are coming to get me at 3:11 am, or that my mother will secretly put Pine-Sol in my noodle soup, or that my water heater is afflicted by a poltergeist.  I dunno, I’m a sissy-pants like that.

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25.  My favorite color is yellow, because technically, white isn’t a color.

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26.  I’m what my husband calls a “closet feminist” in that I have moments of bra-burning behavior, but I very much enjoy our traditional *achem* sexist marriage.birds3

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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15 Responses to 26 Random Things About Me

  1. Tracey Neil says:

    ps: it’s your turn 🙂

    Like

  2. baldjake70 says:

    I wouldn’t change a thing! Even though I know this about you already, I still enjoy reading it every time.

    Like

  3. lovelyloribeth says:

    Like

  4. lovelyloribeth says:

    ❤ Sadie so good girl but you love her more than licity?! =O

    Like

  5. Matt Roberts says:

    I can share?

    1. My b-day is 10 days before yours. One of the greatest people I’ve ever known was 10 days before mine.
    11. I read only the first book and had planned on reading the rest but haven’t got around to it. First book wasn’t too terribly bad.
    14. I am also, but I am not starved for attention. Hey, you, are you paying attention? I’m NOT starved for attention. Me. I’m not. Me me me.
    16. I believe the doctor told my parents if I was allergic to one more thing I would have to live in a plastic bubble.
    20. I have no religion either although I’m baptized Mormon. Unitarian, I like the sound of that.
    23. I want to be on Team Jolene!

    Like

  6. meg68 says:

    You are hilarious woman! Are you not published? Like in a book? Why?
    I am very much like u, (can I come to America and be your friend?) I have never had a hot cup of coffee, prefer my ice cream on the kids faces, and I’m also a child (and former wife) of divorce!
    I am NOT an attention seeker as ALL attention is already on me, I have made sure….
    But I LOVE scary movies, and my biggest regret is not one of my 8 kids likes them. 7 and 8 claim they’ll call the authorities if I even watch them while they sleep, and 6 says they’re lame. 4 is waaay too cool, and 5,3,2, and 1 are busy being grown ups.
    I’m a competitive bitch, just ask Fitty. We even have _art competitions, with an “F”. (Beat that eye watering beauty darling…)
    I have faith, but I don’t beat people over the head with it. I just quietly believe that all this life and shit must have some kind of meaning?

    Like

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  10. mollytopia says:

    Awesome list. I officially want be your friend : )

    Liked by 1 person

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