I did that thing where I avoided social media for a few days. Didn’t blog for a week. Posted rarely on Twitter and Facebook. Even skipped the Instagram Photos of the Day for awhile.
I was just busy doing other things.
It certainly wasn’t because I’ve joined up with all those people who are fond of telling us to get offline and go outside.
I enjoy going outside, with purpose. I like to piddle in my garden and I like to sit on my porch. I resent the idea that people should close their laptops and wander outdoors, as though something magical is going to happen. Trust me, I go outside. Lately, outside is hot and humid. If you’re into white girl afros and sunblock, then yes, it’s magical.
At parties, I frequently tell young people to get off their phones so they can have experiences to share on social media later, but I wouldn’t suggest they abandon their phones, leave the party, and stroll around outside.
Because what we need are a bunch of people roaming around like zombies, many of whom would be lost without GPS, and sunburnt because they couldn’t find the UV index without their weather apps.
It’s a sorta odd, and extremely pedantic thing to do, using one’s social media to chide other people about social media.
I always want to yell at those people in all caps, “THANK YOU FOR USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO TELL US NOT TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA!”
Before social media, I didn’t have friends all over the globe, who could teach me things about their world. Before social media, I had no idea how many conservative friends I already had, or how badly they spelled.
Recently, a media outlet posted an article on social media, about how we should close the very accounts that allow us to read their articles. Really?
— Oh, but subscribe to their articles via email.
So email is okay?
Look, I thought I would finish this rant, but I’m not, because I’m going to Dairy Queen. Technically, Dairy Queen is outside and obviously soft serve ice cream is some kinda magical scientific foodie art. I like mine with faux fudge-flavored high fructose corn syrup — and I like Dairy Queen’s page on Facebook.