Blanket Girl

Last week, as we turned in, The Mister scolded me from under his blankets, “Ugh! You’ve turned me into a blanket person,” he said.
I giggled.
“It’s the quality of the linens,” I said, “Not to offend, but before me, you didn’t have delicious bed linens.”
He mumbled somethin about tee-shirt sheets from Walmart. I giggled again.


My husband can sleep through anything. He can sleep anywhere. He doesn’t need a bed, let alone a pillow or a blanket.
But even he is not immune to the luxuries of a squishy pillow, smooth sheets, a soft quilt, and a heavy duvet on a really good mattress.

Somewhere around ten years ago, we realized we could not go on sleeping in the hand-me-down mattress of lumps. About two years ago, we realized we hate springs and box springs, no matter what the mattress makers put on top of them.

— But good linens always make the difference, even on the worst old bed.

The boy one crashes. He goes to his bed, falls on his face, and sleeps. He doesn’t appear to move, has no use for pajamas, doesn’t seem to need bed linens or pillows. Just, SPLAT.

All the girls are blanket girls, like me.

“so they went years and years 
like sisters blanket girls 
always there through that and this”
— Tori Amos, Bells for Her

We’re fussy bitches.
Don’t bring us acrylic or polyester. No, we want cotton. In fact, our sensitive skin demands it.



Y’all can keep your 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton that we know isn’t ELS. We can tell because it’s scratchy and feels starched. Also, if those sheets were made of Egyptian ELS, they wouldn’t be scratchy, but then you would’ve paid upwards of $500 or more for a set. If you have some Egyptian cotton ELS then we’ll take those, although we’re really Supima girls at heart, preferably with a sateen weave. Do you have something more in the 400-500 thread count range of 100% Pima, perhaps? We’re okay with percale, still softer than standard Egyptian cotton, but it’s not quite as soft as a well-worn linen…So, no Pima then?

If the sheets are bad, we’ll just sleep on top of the bed, with the quilts we brought.


Oh, you don’t tote your quilts with you when you travel? I suppose you just use the hotel’s pillows, then, too?


For fourteen years, my husband envied my pillow. We finally bought new ones, and he got one just like mine. He balked at the cost of those pillows, so I didn’t have the heart to tell him there are actually better pillows, if you’re into pillows that cost more than a day’s work.

I have never lain on any bed more comfortable than my own.

Why do you think we spend so much time moaning in our bed?



About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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23 Responses to Blanket Girl

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    I could never sleep at hotels, and then I started bringing my pillow. SO much better now. It’s nothing fancy or expensive, but it cradles my neck just the right way. 🙂


  2. words4jp says:

    The first thing I did when I got separated was buy a new bed and sheets. The mattress we had was a disaster and he was too cheap to buy one, even after my doctor told me I needed a new one. (I herniated two discs in my back and could not lay flat or on my side) Believe me, we could afford the mattress. And then the sheets – he never like sheets with a print. Not the slightest print – he felt it was to feminine. Everything through our 13 years of marriage was solid friggin prints. Including the comforter. Bedding is important – obviously – for some of us who like comfort and then, there are ‘those’ who prefer what it is they prefer. 😉


  3. Deborah says:

    Delicious bed linens! That says it all. And of course, I’m so partial to quilts. Love this post! Makes me want to go back to bed. haha


  4. Dan Antion says:

    I’m with your husband, I can sleep anywhere, on or under anything. That’s a good thing because I’m not dragging linens with me on business trips. Then again, if I am staying more than one night, you can be sure that I will ask for an extra blanket. Hotels today have all opted for the one blanket like thing stuffed into a cover. I like to be warm.


  5. I only stay in hotels that hubby works for…so I know what the pillows are because hello: brand standard ftw! But pillows are sacred in our house…no one gets to use mine! 😉


  6. Jewels says:

    I too “have never lain on any bed more comfortable than my own.” I love, love, love my bed! ❤


  7. spacurious says:

    I have never wanted to crawl into someone’s bed more than yours right now. Move over and stop hogging the covers…


  8. Nothing finer than a hot summer night and clean cotton bedding. My mum-in-law would insist that paw-in-law take a bath before they went to bed on those days when she washed the linens. He grumbled, but only a little.

    I learned something here – had not heard of “ELS” extra long staple.


  9. Sherry says:

    yep, tend to travel with pillows…the rest I can handle…but this is the best bed we had had, we both love the mattress, and the fluffy mattress cover, and the sheets, and the blankie…and the quilts…lol…beds are important…


  10. Aussa Lorens says:

    Okay, I’m jealous/you’re enabling me to put my bed on my list of “missions.” Gillian from Pretty Trippy was talking about some sort of fancy amazing bedsheets a while back and I meant to take note– I’d love to create a sleep oasis in my bedroom. I have HORRIBLE sleep issues :-/ Maybe sleeping on a pile of money would help?


  11. maurnas says:

    Sheets; I am 100% behind you. Beds; I used to be able to sleep on anything. A yoga mat. A sleeping bag. As long as I had good sheets. Since I hurt my back, I had to buy a new mattress, mattress pad, pillow, couch, everything. And it is so nice. It took hurting myself to realize how much my body was hurting all the time from the crappy furniture I had.


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