A Day in the Life of a Justified Person*

Not too long ago, my friend Meg posted the chronicles of her day as an unjustified stay-home mom, and I was so humored and inspired by it, I decided I would post one of my own days. But back to good intentions, she reminded me I hadn’t actually posted it. So here. Here’s yesterday.

4:59 The Mister checks his phone for the umpteenth time during the night. Having been sleepless for the better part of the night, again I ask him, “Is it 5:00 yet?” Immediately, his alarm sounds. We snuggle briefly, while I contemplate that I am, in fact, tired, and how useless lying in the bed has been.

6:10 I pour coffee into my cup and check my phone. The prompt for the day is Grateful. Coffee seems like a good choice.

coffee1

6:40 Put on yesterday’s clothes. Twist hair into a knot and secure with a clip. Brush teeth. Apply moisturizer. Wonder why my eyebrows are uneven and disappearing, and then quickly remember I am 40 and haven’t groomed them in well over a year.

6:50 Do the girls’ hair. Argue with them about potential hairstyles. Remind them of nit combs, olive oil, and all the hugging they’ll be doing on the first day of school, while their hairs flail about looking for head lice.

6:57 Stare in wonder at Moo, who refuses to wear her jean jacket, because it’s itchy and she’s wearing short sleeves.
“Denim is cotton you know.”
“Too many seams.”
Wait for Moo to get an organic cotton sweater. Briefly question for the one thousandth time whether she has serious sensory issues or if she’s just quirky.

7:00 Head to the bus stop, hoping and praying the bus situation will be better this year.

7:02 Hold Moo, who is cold. Listen to Sassy and Moo’s exchange about gossipy things.

busstop

7:11 Kiss the girls and watch them get onto the bus with a new bus driver. Feel delighted.

7:20 Fill bird feeder, feed dog and cats. Monitor the eating. Pet all the cats. Count blessings.

7:45 Iron all the things while Skyping with True. Run out of starch, curse the blue broadcloth shirt and leave it unpressed.

8:20 Dance and sing like no one is looking.

8:40 Refill coffee and make a bowl of Rice Krispies. Eat while playing Words of Wonder until I run out of energy points. Check all social media.

10:00 Drink coffee and Skype with Orb. Spend most of the time disconnecting, reconnecting, and hating Skype.

11:05 Do dishes. Clean kitchen. Rotate laundry. Water seedlings.

12:00 Contemplate fryin the last green tomato and ultimately decide to eat string cheese and a plum, because no dirty dishes.

12:45 Take dog out, wander around the yard. Smile. Count blessings.

1:00 Undress, unclip hair, climb back into bed, set alarm, call dog to bed, pet and rub dog, fall asleep.

2:44 Awaken to find all of the animals are on the bed, except Como, who is under the bed, but comes out to look at me every few minutes. Sort brain from dreaming to reality and question the meaning behind dreams of floods. Dress, clip hair, make bed, rotate laundry.

3:00 Unlock the door, crack open a Coke, sit in the silence. Count blessings.

3:07 Listen to two overly verbose children at once.

3:25 Assign chores to the children. Check social media. Finish the can of walnuts.

4:00 Make swate tay. Note that it is always time to peel potatoes or make swate tay. Somehow manage to break the tea pitcher with a chunk of ice. Blame everything but myself. Curse The Mister for buying enormous bags of ice. Must remember to remind him I am not She-Ra. Curse stupid side-by-side refrigerator, curse broken ice maker. Make half the tea in the lemonade pitcher.

tea

4:15 Nag the girls about the state of their rooms, the fact that their papers aren’t on the counter, their book bags not on hooks, lunchboxes not put away. Insist on order. Cannot allow them to watch tv, read on the bed, or snuggle a blanket, which will all result in sleeping, and then not sleeping at night. Holler about picking up everything that belongs to them.

4:30 A fight ensues. Take shelter in the shower. Count blessings. Shave legs and marvel at how my feet are no longer tan. Smile.

4:45 Decide the house is in order. Put beans in the oven to bake. Pour a glass of swate tay out of the lemonade pitcher. Lament over broken tea pitcher incident again.

5:00 Debate baking a cake, but don’t want to dirty more dishes. Tell The Mister to fire up the grill for weenies.

5:35 Tell The Mister to pull the baked beans out of the oven on his way out to get the weenies. Tell Moo to get out the condiments and potato chips.

6:00 Eat weenie, beans, and chips while reading and while family watches Castle. Get mustard and relish on my shirt. Stain-treat shirt. Change shirt.

6:45 Kiss Sassy goodnight.

7:00 Tell Moo, who has fallen asleep on the couch, to go to bed.
7:10 Tell Moo, who has fallen asleep on the couch, to go to bed.
7:15 Tell Moo, who has fallen asleep on the couch, to go to bed. Kiss Moo goodnight.

8:00 Rub eyes. Think about tweezing eyebrows. Think about making a hot cuppa tea. Feel too tired to get up to do either.

9:15 Accept random compliments and affection from husband, who has stopped studying long enough to notice he is still married. Get butterflies. Smile.

9:30 Rub eyes. Put on glasses. Wish I had baked the cake. Eat three cookies. Note that the generic chocolate and vanilla cookies from Walmart are not as good as the generic chocolate and vanilla cookies from Family Dollar.

9:45 Tidy up. Pet cats. Begin feeling poorly for lack of sleep.

9:55 Clean up kitchen. Begin to tell The Mister that during our unfortunate time of not having a tea pitcher, one cannot pour hot tea into a glass pitcher…and quickly realize he’s turned the coffee pot back on, effectively heating the tea. Almost cry. Rub eyes. Take glasses off. Make tea in pasta pot. Pour into lemonade pitcher.

10:10 Read papers from school, recycle them, set aside the forms out to be filled in.

10:05 Make a glass of tea, ramble through the house in a ritualistic way, fluffing pillows and gathering all my things, noting that while I have a hundred things to do before bed, and am always out of sorts, my husband is fully efficient. Take one Tylenol and one Motrin, because headache. Put on pajamas.

10:20 Get upset that the dvr didn’t record any Murphy Brown episodes that day. Realize Bridget Jones’s Diary is not on a commercial-free channel. Lie in bed watching Will & Grace until husband falls asleep on me. Get up, tell the dog to stay, drink tea, rotate laundry, peek on sleeping babies, pet all the cats, brush, floss, rinse, moisturize, examine eyebrows, sigh. Look at moon. Get back into bed, only to be upset that I’m in bed before Stephen Colbert is done recording, and I’ll have to suffer through commercials. Pet Como for what seems like eternity. Use spare pillow to wipe cat hair off my face. Fall asleep. Turn off tv. Fall asleep again.

I invite anyone to chronicle a day. I’m pretty sure your days are far more eventful and entertaining than mine!

*I say justified, because I don’t think we need to qualify our lifestyle choices

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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29 Responses to A Day in the Life of a Justified Person*

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Life is all about routine, isn’t it? No matter what we do we tend to fall into our patterns, some activities less glamorous than others. I don’t mind the repetition so much except when it comes to cooking. I enjoy cooking, but I don’t enjoy HAVING to cook. But we have to eat, and until I can convince my teen sons that they can take over a night of cooking, it falls on me. (But I’m trying. I’m teaching them both to cook whether they like it or not. And they don’t…)

    Like

    • I do love my routines 🙂
      I feel the same way. I love cooking, but I don’t ALWAYS want to cook. Each month, I try to put in a few nights The Mister can grill, a few nights where food is simple, and a few nights when it’s “fend for yourself” even if it’s just leftovers — and the best ones, nights we eat out or get carry-out! 😀
      Last week, Sassy made the baked potatoes from start to finish and I thought that was fabulous!

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  2. Myas says:

    The photo speaks…

    Like

  3. Dan Antion says:

    Wow! That is probably remarkably similar to my wife’s day(s) all the years our daughter was home. Meanwhile, my day was: get up – shower – go to work – come home – eat dinner – read/PC/watch TV – go to bed. Repeat M-F, sometimes with a flight or a drive in between and a meal/bed provided for a large fee. I never NEVER said that my wife didn’t work. Ever.

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  4. Thanks for this. Reading yours and Meg’s makes me feel a whole lot more “normal”.

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  5. cardamone5 says:

    This is great, especially the nap. Can’t say mine is more eventful, or that I could tell it in a finnier way 🙂

    Fondly, Elizabeth

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  6. Jewels says:

    Thanks for sharing a day in the life of Joey! 😀

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  7. Sherry says:

    hmmmmm well I might give it a try…I just might…mine is predictably boring I think..

    Like

  8. meg68 says:

    You did it!! Love it, and that you count your blessings all day long, as I do.
    The thing that I most identified with? Bloody Skype dropping out!! My sister and I, (who should by rights have nothing to ever say to each other again due to hours and hours of daily talking), Skype nearly everyday, but inevitably end up on the phone or Facebook because Skype just won’t deliver. I love Skype! I just wish it would get it’s shit together!!
    That, and kids falling asleep before bedtime, who have insisted time and again that they are NOT TIRED! Baaaaah!!

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    • Seriously, I don’t know why anyone wants to Skype. I rarely use the thing, and when I do, I’m deeply disappointed, because yes, I miss True’s face, and I’m sure she misses mine, but I can hear her much better on the phone!

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  9. Deborah says:

    This is great! I wouldn’t have the patience to chronicle my day. I could totally relate to so much of it, especially the Skype thing. I love Skype and it’s free. I get it. But sometimes, when you spend more time reconnecting than talking, it’s a pain. Have you ever noticed that it’s most likely to act up at the most significant parts of the conversation? 😉

    Like

  10. LindaGHill says:

    08:55 – Asks you for your address
    10:00 tomorrow – mails you an ice cube tray.
    …wait… your kids are back at school already? And I have to wait until after Labour Day?!?

    Like

    • Yeah, they go 180 days a year. Lots of mini breaks, long weekends, that sorta thing. I HAVE ice cube trays, not that you’re not a dear for offering. But, I use the ice cube trays for keeping herbs fresh, and sometimes lemon for water, but to make my swate tay, I need roughly 6 cups of ice per pitcher, and I have a freakin side-by-side, so there’s barely any room in the damn thing to begin with, let alone for 10 more ice cube trays. The ice sits at the bottom in the bag, which is why I hate makin tea. lol I’m so pathetic! I HATE MY REFRIGERATOR. Imagine the joy when I get a new one someday 😀

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  11. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    That is a full day. If it had been my schedule, you’d never have gotten around to thinking about your eyebrows at 8 pm. I often imagine how much more I could get done if I could stay up past 7:30. But then I get real sleepy and go to bed.

    Like

  12. ivyon says:

    It was like reading an entry for SIMS character diary 😀
    I am thinking about doing my own… Will see, will see…

    Like

  13. words4jp says:

    My day would pale in comparison:)

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