I do not say zed. To me, zed is a Scrabble word, or a word my English friend uses that makes me pause and realize, “Oh, he means Z.”
I do say zee a lot, especially when I’m Franglais-ing with my husband. We do have more than our fair share of fun around here.
The Mister took French with zee same demanding teacher I did, but he didn’t take nearly as much, and he kinda hated her. Unfortunately, she was such a good teacher that when he later took Spanish, he sucked at that, because he kept Frenching everything up. The Mister can’t understand Spanish, or speak Spanish for mierda, either, but that’s okay, because I didn’t fall in love with him for his words.
He thought taking French would be easier the second go ’round, especially with me in zee house. Sometimes I hear him, listening to his French lessons. Zee computer asks things like, “Bonjour, Pierre! Excusez-moi, mais ou sont les toilettes?” et quelque chose like that, which I guess zee computer really needs to know before she gets on zee train to Belgique departing in dix minutes.
So, I try to ask him simple questions, like, “Qu’est ce que tu fais?” (What are you doing?) or “Ou sont les filles?” (Where are the girls?) et he is such a smartass enorme, he raises his eyebrows and asks, “Que¿”
“Asshole. You know very fucking well que¿!”
So no, I don’t think I’m particularly helpful for The Mister’s second round of French.
The other day, I informed him that True has been learning French from an app on her phone. I told him it’s working well for her, we had an entire conversation about fruit. He said, “I hate her.”
With any luck, he will complete zee language requirement for his degree next week, sans knowing pommes from oranges.