Finally Zipping Through Zee Zed

I do not say zed. To me, zed is a Scrabble word, or a word my English friend uses that makes me pause and realize, “Oh, he means Z.”

I do say zee a lot, especially when I’m Franglais-ing with my husband. We do have more than our fair share of fun around here.
The Mister took French with zee same demanding teacher I did, but he didn’t take nearly as much, and he kinda hated her. Unfortunately, she was such a good teacher that when he later took Spanish, he sucked at that, because he kept Frenching everything up. The Mister can’t understand Spanish, or speak Spanish for mierda, either, but that’s okay, because I didn’t fall in love with him for his words.
He thought taking French would be easier the second go ’round, especially with me in zee house. Sometimes I hear him, listening to his French lessons. Zee computer asks things like, “Bonjour, Pierre! Excusez-moi, mais ou sont les toilettes?” et quelque chose like that, which I guess zee computer really needs to know before she gets on zee train to Belgique departing in dix minutes.
So, I try to ask him simple questions, like, “Qu’est ce que tu fais?” (What are you doing?) or “Ou sont les filles?” (Where are the girls?) et he is such a smartass enorme, he raises his eyebrows and asks, “Que¿”
“Asshole. You know very fucking well que¿!”

french-motherfucker-do-you-speak-it_o_1977355

So no, I don’t think I’m particularly helpful for The Mister’s second round of French.

The other day, I informed him that True has been learning French from an app on her phone. I told him it’s working well for her, we had an entire conversation about fruit. He said, “I hate her.”

With any luck, he will complete zee language requirement for his degree next week, sans knowing pommes from oranges.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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37 Responses to Finally Zipping Through Zee Zed

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Like your husband, I had trouble with Spanish after learning French. I’d mastered the French ‘R,’ and my Spanish teacher would get frustrated with me because I couldn’t roll my Rs. I only took one semester of Spanish, and of course, I remember little of it. Learning it is on my bucket list. It would serve me better in the US than French has. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • SO true. My littlest girls had Spanish immersion on post, and they can trill those R’s like natives. The boy took Spanish, not sure about his speaking, but I know he understands. Sassy will start Spanish next year. We’ve made a deal to share our languages with one another, so I’ll keep improving her French and she’ll improve my Spanish. 🙂 I’m kinda hyped!

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  2. JunkChuck says:

    “Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I say Zed too. but my daughter says zee. I have told her it is ZED! Anyway, I hope your Mister gets his French sorted out.I loved French at school but never kept it up which is a shame. I also did Spanish but only for a year! I being able to speak another language is a wonderful asset.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sammy D. says:

    Ooh la la
    Merci to Zee Gods for zis post. I feared when I saw Zipper in the title that we were headed down another path to zee men’s underwear !!! Ooh la la

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sammy D. says:

    Ooh it wasn’t even ‘zipper’ it was ‘zipping’. Now you know where my mind resides.

    Hey it’s your fault!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sammy D. says:

    Zipping. .. Zee action of zee zipper. Say that 5 times quickly. In spanish!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion says:

    Zee or Zed, makes no nevermind – you made it to the end of the alphabet and I am impressed. It’s been so much fun following you through this challenge Joey. I laughed a lot and I enjoyed every single post. Good job girl!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Luanne says:

    I keep waiting to find some other weirdo who is good with reading languages, but absolutely sucks at learning spoken languages perhaps “due to” an extreme case of self-consciousness. Someone doesn’t like being embarrassed by being made fun of for their accent . . . . Just someone.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. markbialczak says:

    I am feeling a little zentimental that you are done with the challenge, Joey. I zealously looked forward to each letter’s zeitgeist. Zensational!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Hi! Back from a short vacation and here you are finished with your challenge. Well, glad I caught the last one. I like Zed. Especially in a triple-word score. And I told you before, I think, that when taking Mandarin, the French word would always pop into my brain when struggling to think up a world. Merde!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I don’t know if the French in me likes the Zee! This is not the sound that targets me as a French native speaker. The harder for me are the “R.” In any case, bravo for completing the challenge and thank you for making me smile, laugh and also feel moved by some of your thoughts along the way. Let’s stay in touch.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. We say “Zed” here in Canada.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Funny that – when I hear “zee” I think about when I was a kid yelling at Sesame Street on TV about how it’s Zed. Zedzedzed. Geez they almost beat it into us. Yes in Canada they make sure you KNOW it’s Zed. Though it was irritating whilst singing the Alphabet song……. 😉 I can’t remember what our alternative was to make it rhyme….

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sherry says:

    I am not good with languages. I keep trying to learn Spanish and then get bogged down somewhere. I couldnt roll an r if you threatened my life. Oh Sigh….lol

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  15. Zeeeeeee!! We have been trying to pick up Spanish again. One of the best things I have done is buy a fun YA book (Percy Jackson in this case) in both English and Spanish. It really helps with being able to comprehend sentences, verb conjugations and idiomatic language, instead of just vocabulary! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Thank you so much for participating in the A to Z Challenge! You rock! Congrats on getting to the letter Z! Reminder: there will be an A to Z Reflections round on May 4th. There will be a Linky for it on the main blog, so please look for it there! Please post your reflections on the challenge, visit others, and catch up on the blogs you didn’t have time to read!

    Team Macha, Helping Co-Host Zalka
    Maui Jungalow

    Like

  17. Love this post, love your wit, and love your irreverence! This is probably the most amusing z-post I’ve encountered. 🙂

    I’m Canadian, and when I taught my daughter the alphabet song, she was all “but, but, but they say zee on Sesame Street,” and I was all, “yes, but we’re Canadian, we’re rebels and we say zed.” Amazingly enough she still speaks to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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