It’s absolutely beautiful outside today. It’s 63 and sunny. I drove us over to Aldi for a few things, and when we were leaving, we decided to get some White Castle. It’s not our fault they put the White Castle RIGHT next to the Aldi.
Beautiful day for cruisin around, windows open, music playin, “Ah, glorious.” I gladly steered us into the drive-thru line. So happy!
Until the panic came.
Moo was first, “OH MY GOD!”
“No my God, Moo,” I tsked.
“OH MY GOD! I’m gettin out!”
Sassy turned around, “What? OH MY GOD!” and she opened her door and got out.
Do I even need to tell you I got out, too? If it’s makin the children get out of the car, I’m not gonna sit there and die of whatever it is that’s makin them leap from the car and dance around.
“OH MY GOD!”
Fuckin Yellow Jackets, Man.
I fuckin hate all the fuckin Yellow Jackets.
I’m allergic to their stings and they know it. They are devious, aggressive beasts that try to look like innocent honey bees, all the while plottin my demise.
Wasps in bumblebee clothing, that’s what they are. Fuckers.
IN MY CAR!!!
I am the adult, right?
I’m supposed to have a plan or somethin, right?
I’m sure you’re right, but my initial plan was somethin like i really love my car, but we’re only about three miles from home…
Fortunately, a knight in shining truck behind us stepped in to save the day. While I’m sure that all of our blasphemy and hopping around was adorably entertaining, he announced he was too hungry to wait.
In an incredibly brave move, he swiftly threw a hoodie on it and rastled it about. Then he picked up my umbrella and announced that the fucker was no longer in the car.
We all thanked him. Profusely. Possibly to a creepy extent.
We got back in the car, rolled up the windows, and sat in silence, grateful for our lives. Fuckin Yellow Jackets, Man.
Then I paid for his lunch when I paid for our snacks.
The man SAVED OUR LIVES, but the employees at White Castle thought I was the nice one for buyin his lunch. Pshaw.
He was shouting, “Thank you!” so I tried to shout louder, “NO THANK YOUUU!”
$6.40 is a whole lot cheaper than a trip to the ER, and the hospital’s more like 7 miles from there.
On behalf of all of us who are terrified of bee stings and epi pens, I salute those of you who would chase away a bee for a crazy stranger.