$6.40

It’s absolutely beautiful outside today. It’s 63 and sunny. I drove us over to Aldi for a few things, and when we were leaving, we decided to get some White Castle. It’s not our fault they put the White Castle RIGHT next to the Aldi.

Beautiful day for cruisin around, windows open, music playin, “Ah, glorious.” I gladly steered us into the drive-thru line. So happy!

Until the panic came.
Moo was first, “OH MY GOD!”
“No my God, Moo,” I tsked.
“OH MY GOD! I’m gettin out!”
“What?!?”
Sassy turned around, “What? OH MY GOD!” and she opened her door and got out.

Do I even need to tell you I got out, too? If it’s makin the children get out of the car, I’m not gonna sit there and die of whatever it is that’s makin them leap from the car and dance around.

“OH MY GOD!”

Fuckin Yellow Jackets, Man.
I fuckin hate all the fuckin Yellow Jackets.
I’m allergic to their stings and they know it. They are devious, aggressive beasts that try to look like innocent honey bees, all the while plottin my demise.
Wasps in bumblebee clothing, that’s what they are. Fuckers.

IN MY CAR!!!

I am the adult, right?
I’m supposed to have a plan or somethin, right?
I’m sure you’re right, but my initial plan was somethin like  i really love my car, but we’re only about three miles from home…

Fortunately, a knight in shining truck behind us stepped in to save the day. While I’m sure that all of our blasphemy and hopping around was adorably entertaining, he announced he was too hungry to wait.
In an incredibly brave move, he swiftly threw a hoodie on it and rastled it about. Then he picked up my umbrella and announced that the fucker was no longer in the car.

exactly like this, but nothing like this

exactly like this, but nothing like this

We all thanked him. Profusely. Possibly to a creepy extent.
We got back in the car, rolled up the windows, and sat in silence, grateful for our lives. Fuckin Yellow Jackets, Man.

Then I paid for his lunch when I paid for our snacks.

The man SAVED OUR LIVES, but the employees at White Castle thought I was the nice one for buyin his lunch. Pshaw.
He was shouting, “Thank you!” so I tried to shout louder, “NO THANK YOUUU!”

$6.40 is a whole lot cheaper than a trip to the ER, and the hospital’s more like 7 miles from there.

On behalf of all of us who are terrified of bee stings and epi pens, I salute those of you who would chase away a bee for a crazy stranger.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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52 Responses to $6.40

  1. Josh Wrenn says:

    Fuck yellow jackets! Awesome of that guy, and great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’d like to think that gentleman was being chivalrous, but he pessimist in me says he probably really was just hungry. Either way, I’m glad you paid for his lunch. I would have done so, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. La Sabrosona says:

    That was a close call!! A humorous read though. On our road trip to Nova Scotia this summer, we went to inquire about an oil change and when I stepped out of the car there was a big ass stunned bumble bee where my ass was seconds before. Freaked the shit out of me, and poor thing, I flung it out onto the pavement and realized it likely wasn’t going to recover. It was step on it or have the car parked next to me back over it, so I did what any coward would do, I left the poor bumble bee’s fate to the bee gods.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a nice man. I HATE wasps, They serve no purpose in life other than to terrify and annoy.!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jan says:

    I’ve also run into wasps at the White Castle! What gives? ; )

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Send me some of that sunshine.
    And White Castle too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I, the driver-through in this household (Reiner is against drive-throughs, I know not why) have lately been walking-through the Reiner way. I refuse to run the gauntlet of the freakin’ yellow jackets.
    (I can’t say “fucking”. It makes me blush.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Aren’t you precious?
      I tell ya, it was terrifying and I think you’re wise to avoid the drive-thru, at least this time of year.
      I’m not much of a drive-thru’er myself…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sherry says:

    I take it you didn’t squeeze it and hug it and name it George?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dan Antion says:

    Not allergic but I hate them. They are just mean. Glad you all got out. Glad you were saved and really glad you treated him to White Castle.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Carrie Rubin says:

    “And so shines a good deed in a weary world.”—Willy Wonka

    (I’m always happy when I get a chance to quote that. 🙂 )

    Liked by 1 person

  11. He was hungry, that is a good motivator for most of the knights I have met!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nancy says:

    Paying it forward! Perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. One good turn deserves another…or so the saying goes. Glad you all escaped the bees! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. cardamone5 says:

    It’s official: heroes do exist! Yeah for the savior. Yeah for the brave man whose lunch you bought. Yeah for you for buying his lunch. Yeah for you for making it out of the house today (I didn’t…having a need to be inside, too much going on lately, I don’t care how much you whine kids I’m being selfish day.) Shoulda gone out. Know I shoulda. But, sometimes I can’t.

    Fondly,
    E

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      You deserve a selfish day, Fondly Elizabeth. The demands of family, soccer, school and all the other stuff — I hope you had a restful day. ❤

      Like

  15. Benson says:

    Wasps are creatures of evil here only to wound and injure the innocent. What a good guy to battle your monsters for White Castle. Chivalry isn’t dead it just needs some slider motivation

    Liked by 1 person

  16. rachelwhims says:

    I 100% agree! I hate those little fuckers. As a matter of fact, one of the first full sentences my 3-year-old learned to say was, “Bees’ll get ya.” He means jackets, but bees was just easier to say. Glad you didn’t die in the drive thru of a White Castle.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Anxious Mom says:

    You would hate my house.

    We were infiltrated by Yellow Jackets last summer, right after Baby Girl was born. They got a huge nest under the siding of our house near the bathroom window, which was incredibly difficult to get to. We were killing several of those suckers per day in that bathroom for almost a month before my husband was able to wipe them out. Sam refused to call an exterminator. After three stings, a trip to the ER due to an allergic reaction (him), and a shit ton of sprays later, he finally got them cleared out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      That sucks!
      We actually had a small nest, early in the year, on the garage eaves. I called the exterminator and it was $150 for them to come out and evaluate the situation. I dunno wtf that’s about. It like, OFFENDED me, that they charge so much. They’re within walking distance, and I mean, like 9 houses away. A beekeeper’s suit was only $100…So The Mister said he’d buy a kit and get them at night. Well, two days later, one of the visiting children threw a wiffleball bat at it, on accident, and damaged the nest. All of the children ran inside and the following day, no more nest activity! We got lucky.
      I haven’t seen any in the yard since then, so I’m really pleased.
      Does Sam also feel like the bees sting him BECAUSE he’s allergic? I sure do.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Anxious Mom says:

        Wow, that expensive! No wonder Sam wouldn’t call. My dad is a beekeeper and has all that stuff but Sam just wore one of those laundry bags with the holes on his head 😂😂

        Considering he got stung again this year and had an awful allergic reaction, I’m thinking yes.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. This was really funny. Thank you for a great laugh. I too hate yellow jackets (as you know) and would have responded in the exact same way. Fuck those fuckers!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Luanne says:

    LOL, was this about ONE bee? No, I know it’s serious because of the bee sting allergy and all, but as I read this I was imagining an incredible SWARM of bees in the car. A MASSING of a diabolical bee army. hahahaha Very well written, I would say! It did remind me though of the horror movies I’ve been watching on TV for Halloween. Last night was The Covenant with the spider bite curse.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. dalecooper57 says:

    “Yellow jackets”? Not heard that one before. Are you just talking about wasps, or what?

    Like

  21. Great story. Hilarious too. Glad you guys are OK

    Liked by 1 person

  22. garym6059 says:

    That’s some good old fashioned midwestern hospitality!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. kirizar says:

    Very nicely done. I think the thank-you was a nice touch. But, I bet feeling like a hero was pretty nice too. Nothing creepy about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I’m very sorry you had this experience, but I do thank you for the many laughs I had while reading your account of this experience. 🙂 I haven’t had a White Castle in a long time, but I can get a visual while even thinking about them. LOL My grandson has food allergies and they picked up new Epi pens last week. It is one of those that talks to you and gives directions. It is wonderful for those of us who don’t handle them routinely and might forget the sequence. Stay safe.

    Like

  25. reocochran says:

    I am so glad there are still nice guys out there to save the day. Also, nice women who do things, too. 🙂
    Wow, you really love each other and trust if 2 people jump out of same car, you are going with them. I loved this unified front part of the post. I also like the Canadian mounty in the comic.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Awww, hell no! I would have totally flipped out. So awesome for him to stop and save the day.

    I got stung for my first time a couple of years ago (yep, the first time in life). A wasp came into our apartment through the old, crappy window and stung me right in the tush. I panicked and ran into the bedroom to show my sleeping husband. We had no idea what would happen. But I survived, with some of my dignity and a sore ass.

    Like

  27. markbialczak says:

    I feel your fear, Joey. I had wasps and yellow jackets! When I lived out in the country after the divorce, I had to get a whole wasp hive out of the shed, and tangle with another the suckers built above the back door, above the little deck. The spray bomb in the shed, well, those angry bastards that outlived the poison stung me about a dozen times, so I give that a 2 on the 10 scale. I got the hives outta both locations, though.

    I would jump in and help you and the girls, definitely. As much as those stings hurt, I didn’t swell up like Pumpkin Face man or anything, so I figure I’m not allergic.

    White Castle! I could use a bag of those belly blasters, but we don’t have White Castle in Syracuse. Damn, I miss those little cheeseburgers with the great onions clogging the holes they punch in the meat.

    Liked by 1 person

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