The first thing I think of? Granny eggs. Granny eggs are what my family calls over easy eggs. I don’t know when this started, but it was before I became a Mottern. I assume a child, perhaps my husband or his sister, gave the eggs this moniker and it stuck.
So sure, I make Granny eggs like Granny does at her house, best done in a cast iron skillet, in leftover bacon grease.
— It’s important to teach your children the actual names of things. Fun with language is fabulous, but when your child asks the lunch lady for Granny eggs, well —
We’re not the only ones. Friends of mine call them lacy eggs, because the edges curl up like lace. I wonder what other names people have for eggs over easy?
All of my adult life, I’ve made eggs over easy. Many brunches, many family breakfasts, many breakfasts for dinner. Then one day, because he hates me as all children hate their parents, the boy one says to me, “I wish you made eggs where the orange stuff doesn’t move.” Fine enough. I cooked his yolk through, and while I did, I complained to Drew, “Been eatin these eggs his whole life and now he wants different eggs. Such a difficult child.”
Then, if you can imagine, this woman, this sister-in-law, this friend I’d cooked eggs for longer than I’d cooked eggs for Bubba says, “Actually, I prefer them cooked through as well. I don’t like runny centers.”
CAN WE NOT HAVE AN HONEST DIALOGUE ABOUT EGGS?!? DOES GRANNY KNOW ABOUT THIS?!?
“Well I love you and I want you to be happy. I will cook your eggs through, too.”
Such a difficult friend.
DO YOU STILL LIKE CREAM IN YOUR COFFEE OR IS THAT A LIE, TOO?!?
Apparently, there are gobs of people who like their eggs cooked through. I know, I was also shocked. I guess not everyone loves chasing runny yolk around a plate. Prolly a buncha those crazy people who don’t want their food to touch…
It turns out, almost everyone likes things a certain way, and this may not agree with your own preferences. The world is a cruel place where some people might find your coffee too strong. Your loved ones prefer sunny side up eggs, scrambled eggs, and Granny eggs, even though you yourself prefer poached eggs.
As time passes, they ask you for chewier bacon, burnt bacon, or just the fatty, rubbery bits of the bacon, even though you don’t really like bacon, and would rather have sausage. Get to know people well enough and soon they feel entitled to fuck with the settings on your toaster and they put way too much syrup on their pancakes.
Eggs are only the beginning.
This SoCS post on eggs was brought to you by LindaGHill
How do you like your eggs? bacon? toast? coffee?