My husband doesn’t know anything about plants. He calls them all weeds. While I have unwillingly accumulated knowledge about all things war and ordnance, he has somehow never learned a thing about gardening. It’s fine, really. I point to things and say, “Please pull that. Please cut this.”
He asks, “What about those yellow weeds?”
“Those yellow weeds are daffodils, mow around.”
Every year he asks me what he’s going to do about the tulips in the lawn. Every year, I tell him I will cut them and he can mow them over. Every year, I explain that the part that makes them grow again lives deep in the earth, and he can’t hurt them with a mower. He stares at me blankly and then says, “Cool.”
I know he wants to kill them on accounta the way he gets excited about mowin down the peonies later in the season.
So recently, this happened:
I asked The Mister, “You know that rhododendron out front?”
“No.”
“You know the woody plant with the hot pink blooms?”
“No.”
“Okay, well, we have a rhododendron.”
“Okay.”
“Here’s a photo of one that’s 125 years old.”
dunno know whose photo it is, but it’s all over the internet…it’s apparently in bc
I thought he would say, “Wow!” or “Neat!” or somethin along those lines…
No, he said, “Holy Shit, Baby! We hafta dig that out! That will ruin our foundation!”
I don’t think we need to worry about it.
Like I said, he doesn’t know anything about plants.
joeyfullystated 
Hahahahaha.
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🙂
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I’m the exact same way!
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Yes you are.
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I be like, “Urm, a wha-?”
But you still lurv meh, right?
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I do. At least you know what the basil and tomatoes look like. Moo can get the rest.
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Sounds a little like Kevin sometimes. He was helpfully weeding the back garden this weekend, while I was trying to explain to him that some things are just starting to grow so he needs to not just pull up everything that “doesn’t look like it belongs there”. In the meantime, his bamboo (clumping at least, so it doesn’t spread like weeds) is taking over the backyard in one corner! He is also sad because I am slowly taking out all the grass in the yard. The front yard is now grassless, and next year it will be the side. No more mowers for us!! Enjoy your day 🙂
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It is a tricky time of year with weeding.
YES, on lawn-less yards. My goal is to have paths. Of course, my yard is enormous, so this will not be done in two years.
Enjoy your day as well, thanks 🙂
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I’m afraid I don’t either. I’d tell you I just learned the name for rhododendrons last year, but I wouldn’t want to admit it.
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I learned in 2014. I’ve never had one before.
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Oh good, now I don’t feel so bad. I’ve seen them around. They’re really gorgeous.
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ask him to name a plant with a 5-pointed leaves that some folks claim is a cure-all…he might know that one
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Heh. I doubt it. Maybe he’ll reply.
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you know the plant?
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Laughing. Out loud. ☺ But that picture…I didn’t know that flowering plants could live that long. Wow.
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Me neither! I knew woody shrubs could grow mighty, but not like that!
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Lol! I know nothing about gardening or floors, but I think that’s what we planted one year, and then LM had a sword fight with it and that was that.
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LOL. Oh dear, the man really is clueless, isn’t he?
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I’m hopelessly inept at gardening, but even I recognize that little puppy you have growing there isn’t going to be any kind of threat anytime soon 😉
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Quick break out the chain saw and machete. We’ve got a job to do.
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AHAHAHA!
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I have a hedge trimmer that has got the capacity to cut through it like butter!
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Oh, yeah…the mowing over, and weed whacking my plants! And, don’t know what comes over them when they get ahold of a saw or tree branch loppers…they don’t know when to stop! .. I know what you mean, too, about us knowing more than we ever cared to know about war and ordnance! 🙂 .
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Haha! Well we are quite a match at times, you and I!
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haha I know! Just yesterday he was telling me all the differences between the M14 and M16 rifles and how to break them down…my eyes were glazing over!
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*rolls glazed-over eyes*
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haha exactly! 😉
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Some of the flowers I bought to put in the bucket on the patio, are ones that like shade, not full sun like the patio gets. The Mrs. and I bought new flowers last weekend. She showed me the little white tags and said “you need to read these.” I said, “I’m probably not going to be buying them again.” I mean, it’s not like I’m going to make her a patio every year. I tend to mow around anything that’s pretty. If she wants them cut, she’ll tell me 🙂
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I see. It’s good she worked that out. I think it’s downright brave of you to admit they’re pretty.
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I like him. Simple outlook, focused, easy to understand.
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LOL
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I know what hastas look like, and if my ma plants any more, I just my lose my shit..LOL
But seriously. Ive decided that my ability to successfully grow some of the funny stuff in a 2liter, in a basement 23 years ago makes me a competent gardener. As long as its resilient as hell, and I dont need to pay attention to it more than twice a month..and maybe weed it sometimes. 😛
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Uh huh. Well, I lurve me hostas! 😀
Weeding lessens the more spaces one fills. More plants = fewer weeds.
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Laughing my whole body off!!!
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You should! 😛
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to be able to afford a house that beautiful, that pink thing would have been gone long ago. lol
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:O
OH NO!
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HaHA! Bless him. I don’t know a huge amount I have to admit, but then I know what is pretty. Whether it be a weed or a flower is not always obvious to me though!
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I keep some weeds. I call them ‘wanted weeds’ because some are pretty and many are good for the soil.
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Yes, some of them are definitely worth keeping 🙂
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Hilarious! It’s a good thing you’re around to share your garden knowledge–otherwise, you may just have grass. 😉
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Right? It’s like he doesn’t understand more flowers=less grass to mow 😉
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That’s a good point. Here’s to more flowers! 🙂
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🙂
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I’m just like your husband. If I can’t mow neatly over it, I don’t want it in my yard.
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My husband doesn’t understand that plants actually like to be trimmed!
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Fun!!
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Two things;
1) Over here, a lot of National Trust properties and municipal gardens are going through a programme of rhododendron removal, to prevent them completely taking over and crowding out indigenous plants.
2) A friend of mine, Odette, lived in a four hundred year old cottage with a spectacular and enormous 150 year old wisteria covering the entire front face of the building. She was an avid gardener and the whole property looked like a picture postcard. One day she broke her leg and was laid up for some time, unable to attend to her plants, so she was grateful for her husband offering to help around the garden. He, like your own horticultural philistine, was restricted to doing fairly simple stuff that involved either brute force or non-technical odd jobs and one of the things he was given to do was pruning the wisteria, as it was beginning to block light from the windows.
Odette set him his task on the day she was going to have her cast removed and left him a pair of secateurs and a pruning saw, before setting off for the hospital with her sister.
She returned a few hours later, to find hubby about to take the final load of “prunings” to the dump in his trailer, looking very pleased with his day’s work.
He had sawn the WHOLE PLANT off at ground level.
This was twenty years ago, I assume he still sleeps in the garage.
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Mercy! I assume so. Terrible story, Dale. Terrible.
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Here in Ireland Rhododendrons have taken over the woodlands and river banks in so many parts of the country they are now classed as a pest and have been placed on the list of Invasive Alien Species – where’s Sigourney Weaver when you need her? Send your husband over here, Joey, with his machete, as they’ll be blooming over the next four weeks or so. We’ll just point him in the right direction and tell him it’s the purple ‘weed’ (and hope Barney isn’t hiding in the bushes). 🙂
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Haha! Isn’t that interesting? The Englishman says the same. We have our own invasive aliens, but not the rhododendrons.
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Love Rhodies. My husband also thinks anything low to the ground is a weed. His favorite tool is his chainsaw. I have to run out to see what he’s chopping down when I hear the sound of that tool.
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Oh I bet!
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Getting my ab workout laughing at this. My youngest took a weed whacker to my garden. The garden I just filled in with soil and plants. I asked him why he cut my daisies. He said, “Oh, they were taller than the other plants. I thought they were weeds.”
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OMG!
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I would love to have rhododendrons and peonies but it’s too hot for them in Louisiana.
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Oh I can believe that!
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The Mister is not alone. Be sure to look around at the plant offerings at your favorite greenhouse or box store. I saw a planter with plants for $69. I’m thinking to myself OMG who would pay that kind of money just so they don’t get they hands dirty, and I look and see they are now marketing other pots with plants that you ‘drop in’ your own planter. I guess they don’t enjoy the discovery aspect of gardening. 🙂
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Isn’t that strange? I’ll have a look, I’ve never noticed such a thing. No doubt for those people who plop an annual on the porch, which is fiiiine, but let’s not call it gardening! lol
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Eye-moisteningly hilarious 😀 Especially since I first thought this huge bush is yours!
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We were at the garden centre yesterday. DD sez, Ma, step away from anything green, before they haul you away for mass murder. Ha! Feckin Ha.
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Confiscate his lawnmower, his chainsaw, his shovel….
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