If eff bombs are considered adult content, this A-Z post includes adult content. I’m not really sure what exactly adult content is, but if you’re uncomfortable with swearing, you should not read me. Not today or like, ever.
So last month, I was doin my life, when a stranger man entered my space and gave me somethin to write about.
He reeked of reefer.
Now, let me give you some relative information:
1. I am pro-legalization of the pot. It’s like jogging; a lot of people like it, it has its benefits and its drawbacks. Now, I don’t jog for fucking fun, but it’s cool if you do. I wouldn’t wanna see you behind bars because you got a runner’s high. If I could tax you for your runner’s high, I fuckin would.
2. I have the nose of a bloodhound. Everything has a smell to me. Everything. So when I can’t smell anything else, only the cloud surrounding you, you reek.
3. There are three smells that seem to stick to my nose and even in small doses, will give me a headache that may well become a migraine — geraniums, any commercial scent labeled “cotton” or “linen,” and you guessed it — marijuana smoke.
This particular stranger man claimed he doesn’t/didn’t smoke the pot.
Either he lied … His pants were not on fire, so I can’t be too sure. I suppose prior to our encounter, he could have been trapped even longer in an even smaller space with someone else who reeked of weed…
Or maybe, he is a genie who lives in a bong. I do not know.
But I got a stupid headache.
Hours and hours later I stopped at Texas Roadhouse to pick up our family’s takeout. I stood in the tiny carryout room, as it was standing-room only. Nay, it was so crowded, I put one knee up in the corner, like a flamingo.
I held the door for everyone who left while two lazy-ass grown men sat there. I don’t know if that’s sexism, but if it is, I’m sexist. Horrible. Not so much for me, I don’t mind to stand, but there were people in there who were clearly older than the seated asshats whose mamas didn’t teach them any manners.
Every time I opened the door for someone, the wind brought the smell of weed back to me.
ARGH! IT WAS ON ME!
Y’all, if their noses are anything like mine, everyone in that room surely thought I was stoned.
When they brought out our huge bags of takeout boxes, I thought oh great, these people probably think i’m gonna eat all this by myself!
Happy Friday Everyone!