Sometimes at night, I’ll hear the girls in another room, chattering. If I pass by, I might hear them dispensing advice or sayin something sweet. These are private moments. It’s the kind of thing that makes parents smile and think awww.
I’m not supposed to know anything about this super secret sibling stuff.
In front of me, it’s competition and irritation.
They get along better than the older two did, but there’s still plenty of conflict. The things siblings say to one another during a fight? I have never said anything like that to anyone in my whole life, and I’m not exactly known for bein nice.
I want them to solve their own problems, so early on I told them, “Work it out!”
Also, I want peace and quiet.
I’ve tried to explain how very fortunate they are, how siblings are wonderful, how God has given them one another, how amazing this relationship is.
Much like I do with any child having the audacity to claim boredom, if they bicker too much, I give them chores to do. Chores are the ultimate weapon in my parenting arsenal. Attitude adjustments, I call them.
“Oh you think your sister should choke on her emo music and die? Well then, while she’s doin that, you can pick up all the sticks in the front yard.”
“Perhaps you’ll find the will to apologize in the odd sock basket.”
“This topic would be better discussed while y’all clean baseboards, wouldn’t it?”
This has proven effective. Now, I see only the beginning of fights. I’m sure there are whispered tussles in the back of the car, silent feuds in public, and rage when no one else is around — I dunno, a few times, I’ve come home to a house empty of words and full of bad juju.
“Are you fighting? You’re not fighting are you?”
“No no, we’re not fighting,” they say, and then they share a hostile fake hug for my benefit.
Recently, this happened:
“Hey. Hey! Are you fighting?”
“We’re argumenting. If you think this is how we fight, then you haven’t seen us fight. It isn’t like this.”
“Right? It’s basically me screaming at Moo, eyes full of angry tears, while she sits there with her clenched jaw and dead eyes.”
“Oh, so like Daddy and me.”
I had a lil chuckle, cause it’s like sometimes The Mister and I don’t even recognize how very fortunate we are, how God has given us one another, how amazing and wonderful this relationship is.
Hmm, maybe peace really does begin with me.
Wishing you all a peaceful day.