I’ve written many times in allusion to The Baby Daze. Twas a chapter of my life when I had two kids, two babies, and a husband who worked 70-90 hours a week. It took a village then and I had a right good village.
What’s it like when The Mister remembers? He doesn’t.
Now, generally speaking, dads aren’t aces at recalling allergies, illnesses, who won’t eat what, who always gets the blue cup — that’s primary caretaker business, not sole provider business.
As it is, The Mister’s not known for his good memory. He remembers about as well as I math, so we have lots of old married people arguments like:
“Shortly after we moved back, we were at the Indiana State Museum–”
“No, we were at the children’s museum.”
“It was at the state museum.”
“No, it wasn’t. When we went to the state museum, it was the August I carried Sassy.”
“It was the state museum cause it had the weird clock.”
“The weird clock is at the children’s museum.”
“No, not that clock.”
“We went to the state museum over our anniversary weekend. We stayed at The Westin. With Drew and–”
“It was the children’s museum!”
whatever, i wasn’t pregnant with sassy in 2013, cause she ain’t five and i ain’t been back to the state museum since i was pregnant with her cause it’s a lame ass museum and i know you ain’t been goin to museums by yourself, dude.
okay, maybe it was the state museum, i don’t remember having kids with us. why would we be at the children’s museum without kids? if that’s the case, then it was in 2002, and not shortly after we moved back home…
we do enjoy the children’s museum…
At the end of the school year, we went to Moo’s last performance thingy in what was my new gym, but is now the old gym. As we walked in, I said, “This is the last time we have to sit in this gym.”
We feel we have spent way too much time in that gym. Often on bleacher seating.
Then we had a brief convo on how other people whine as their kids grow up and we’re over here high-fivin and wootin. The Mister asked if we are terrible parents and I said I don’t think so cause she IS our last kid, and he said something inaudible and I asked, “What?”
“These two do everything. Bubba and Sissy didn’t do all this!”
WHAT’S THAT NOW?!?
Turns out, if you’re not the one who drives the kids to the things while totin along two babies, you might forget about the things!
ARE YOU OUTTA YER HEAD?!?
Boy scouts, girl scouts, choir, the play, soccer, basketball, dance, JR ROTC, they both played instruments briefly… I …
“Okay, I remember scouts now.”
Y’all, I couldn’t even.
The truth is, though, some of it should be blurry. When he wasn’t workin 70-90 hours a week, he was deployed or otherwise away. What must it have been like, to work so long and so very hard? It must have been a rare treat to be home. It must have felt like the reward for providing.
I think it’s only in the last year, when he’s been out of the military, out of college, workin 40-50 hours a week, that he’s been able to find his balance.
He used to work A LOT.
He worked A LOT. Alawt A LOT.
Just somethin about gratitude, to ponder and cherish.