He Worked A Lot

I’ve written many times in allusion to The Baby Daze. Twas a chapter of my life when I had two kids, two babies, and a husband who worked 70-90 hours a week. It took a village then and I had a right good village.

What’s it like when The Mister remembers? He doesn’t.

Now, generally speaking, dads aren’t aces at recalling allergies, illnesses, who won’t eat what, who always gets the blue cup — that’s primary caretaker business, not sole provider business.

before-i-became-a-parent-l-never-knew-i-could-15682078.png

As it is, The Mister’s not known for his good memory. He remembers about as well as I math, so we have lots of old married people arguments like:

“Shortly after we moved back, we were at the Indiana State Museum–”
“No, we were at the children’s museum.”
“It was at the state museum.”
“No, it wasn’t. When we went to the state museum, it was the August I carried Sassy.”
“It was the state museum cause it had the weird clock.”
“The weird clock is at the children’s museum.”
“No, not that clock.”
“We went to the state museum over our anniversary weekend. We stayed at The Westin. With Drew and–”
“It was the children’s museum!”

whatever, i wasn’t pregnant with sassy in 2013, cause she ain’t five and i ain’t been back to the state museum since i was pregnant with her cause it’s a lame ass museum and i know you ain’t been goin to museums by yourself, dude.

okay, maybe it was the state museum, i don’t remember having kids with us. why would we be at the children’s museum without kids? if that’s the case, then it was in 2002, and not shortly after we moved back home…

 we do enjoy the children’s museum… 

jake_hulahoop

smug, refuses to hula on camera

 

At the end of the school year, we went to Moo’s last performance thingy in what was my new gym, but is now the old gym. As we walked in, I said, “This is the last time we have to sit in this gym.”
We high-fived.
We feel we have spent way too much time in that gym. Often on bleacher seating.
Then we had a brief convo on how other people whine as their kids grow up and we’re over here high-fivin and wootin. The Mister asked if we are terrible parents and I said I don’t think so cause she IS our last kid, and he said something inaudible and I asked, “What?”
“These two do everything. Bubba and Sissy didn’t do all this!”

WHAT’S THAT NOW?!?

Turns out, if you’re not the one who drives the kids to the things while totin along two babies, you might forget about the things!

ARE YOU OUTTA YER HEAD?!?

Boy scouts, girl scouts, choir, the play, soccer, basketball, dance, JR ROTC, they both played instruments briefly…  I …

WHAT?!?

“Okay, I remember scouts now.”

Y’all, I couldn’t even.

The truth is, though, some of it should be blurry. When he wasn’t workin 70-90 hours a week, he was deployed or otherwise away. What must it have been like, to work so long and so very hard? It must have been a rare treat to be home. It must have felt like the reward for providing.

I think it’s only in the last year, when he’s been out of the military, out of college, workin 40-50 hours a week, that he’s been able to find his balance.

He used to work A LOT.
He worked A LOT. Alawt A LOT.

Just somethin about gratitude, to ponder and cherish.

jake

I’m grateful.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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52 Responses to He Worked A Lot

  1. Ally Bean says:

    Beautiful memories… even if one person has one of them wrong. I like your photo montage. Everyone looks happy like they should look, not like someone forced them to look.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Hah! Thanks. Most of them are real candid shots — it’s hard to get that many people to pose pretty. We have gobs of these, and only two professional family portraits for that reason.
      Thank you, Ally Bean, for noticing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ghostmmnc says:

    Wonderful family memories! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dan Antion says:

    You got yourself a good partner in crime, lady. Or child rearing, whichever pay bigger dividends. I thank him for his service and you for supporting a guy in the service cause we don’t often think about those folks. Who cares what museum it was, you were there as a family and you probably had a Coke with lots of ice before the day was over. I remember the last time we were in the auditorium at the high school. No high fives, but a happy day for sure.

    Some day your kids will be all “I had to take mom for her check up and then she wanted fries cause she said she could eat them now that the checkup was over, and…”

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thanks, and thank you, and thanks again. He is definitely my partner. ❤️
      I hope my kids take me for ice cream after my check ups. I always take them for ice cream after their shots!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. scr4pl80 says:

    Wish there was a love button on WP. Such a great tribute. He’s not bad lookin’ either. You are lucky, whether he remembers things or not. Mine has the same issues. Fortunately for me, when we get into debates about the where and whens I can pull out one of my scrapbooks and prove myself right – almost all the time. Happy Father’s Day to him.

    Liked by 3 people

    • joey says:

      Haha! I DO, somewhere, maybe the pregnancy book, have a photo of me at the Westin — all round in the front, but I didn’t take pics of the museum, soooo…
      He is terribly handsome and I don’t mind being his memory.
      Thanks so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Luanne says:

    Great memories, a good provider, and wonderful pix. Now about that memory argument, that is about as classic an example of the problems with memory as I have read.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Susanne says:

    You have such a gift with reproducing conversations and making verbs. Almost Shakespearean! I didn’t know there was a math verb. Brilliant.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Beautiful family. But you did the bulk of the transportation, didn’t you? Kids do take a lot of carrying around. And then I missed that when they all learned to drive. And my car. All three of them took their driver’s test – and parallel parked – the van. NO problems.

    Can’t imagine what it was like with your husband deployed and then home and then deployed and… Kudos to the two of you for surviving it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I did. Now and again on post, he’d do the unexpected dr things with the kids so I could be home for the others, and now he does about 1/3 because I work closer to school and get home earlier.
      Our kids have and will have van time, too, so it’s groovy your kids all did as well.
      Thank you for the lovely compliment — we have been very fortunate to have one another.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. loisajay says:

    This was a fun read, Joey. What is it with dads and not remembering things?! We high-five when the kids move out…the young parents don’t get it. They will…..

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Donnalee says:

    I love that last photo–that looks like a very fun guy, just sayin. Enjoy!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Benson says:

    What a lovely post. It reminds me of so much. It could make a jaded old guy shed a tear. Thanks for the memories and Happy Family Day.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. What a great post. I have some of those dad issues too. We both worked, so I was deeply involved in all the driving around. I became a wrestling coach because my butt couldn’t take any more bleacher time.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. joey says:

    Yeah. I bet. Thanks. 🙂

    Like

  13. JoAnna says:

    Great photo collage thingy. I really love the one where everyone is climbing all over somebody.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. My OH didn’t work as much as yours but worked enough that he was rarely home for that whole dinner/bath/bed with three small children nightmare and he used to disappear for most of Saturday to play sport. And, like you, I did all the running around. I’m not sure he’s even been to the museum…. But I’ve noticed now the kids are older, he’s putting in a bit more – running the eldest to the train for university, picking up more of the meals and housework chores. It kind of works because I’m more of a small person type whereas he comes into his own in managing the teenage/young adult years. I guess we find our place and build our own memories.
    PS You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face the day my youngest started school. I declined the tissues offered by the prep teacher..

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Wonderful collection of photos and applause for the hubby. I think you could make a little cash and copyright “primary caretaker business, not sole provider business.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Bill says:

    I remember not much, but some tidbits are set forever. Long known wife’s memory is the more accurate. Great telling of your ‘was, is, and shall be.’ Enjoyed it a bunch.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. AmyRose🌹 says:

    I couldn’t help but laugh at your conversation cause it seems the mister and me have those kind of conversations as well. And the the life part. When one works all the time that one’s world becomes that one’s existence. And for a while two people living under the same roof are living two separate lives. I see that happen too here. My orbit is different from hubby’s and I’ve often stopped to wonder if our two orbits will ever be going in the same direction. Life. Honestly! Happy Dad’s Day to your mister, Joey! 😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      The funniest thing to me, Amy, is when we were apart, and not available to care for one another, we were both better at self care. Maybe separate orbits make a person more self-reliant — probably good when not sustained over long periods of time. If y’all’s orbits continue to line up now and again, that just might be your pattern 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • AmyRose🌹 says:

        Joey, you hit the nail right on the head. Due to “Mommy damage” mister wanted a wife to wait on him hand and foot. Joke be on he. Introduce cats. And I get so busy I have no time to cater to mister’s needs. That’s good for a while but then it gets old. So years worth of having to learn to be self-sustained, mister basically can tend to himself. I’ve still got the cleaning end of the deal …. he seems allergic to that vacuum cleaner and what not. Our orbits do line up now and again which feels good. His interests vastly differ from mine to a point, and then we again begin to spin away from one another. Hmmmm …… ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

  18. markbialczak says:

    Happy Mister Day to your guy I feel like I know, Joey.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Anxious Mom says:

    Aww, love this post! The conversation really made me crack up, you with all of your reasons as to why it was the state museum, and him all “nope.” My husband has a better memory about more obscure things than I do, although I rarely admit it, because I don’t want him to think he’s right when he’s probably not the next time.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Amy says:

    I’m the great rememberer in the house. I think the hubby’s response would be more like “I have a vague recollection of being there, but I don’t know when or what we saw.” lol. This was a lovely post of gratitude. I hope that he’s enjoying his balance…and you too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. marianallen says:

    Such a wonderful post! Sounds like you’re as gaga over your one as I am over my one. My one used to teach all day, then come home and cut and split wood until dark, then work on the interior of the house. I was like, “Peel me a grape, next time you pass through the kitchen, Jeeves.” lol

    Like

  22. JT Twissel says:

    I can remember those crazy days of constant activities – whew. Who could forget scouts and camp outs? Ours always ended in some catastrophe.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Beautiful memories, and wonderful tribute to the Mister.

    I can relate to your different memories throughout time together. He-Man and I often remember things quite differently too. There’s a song about that. 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Matt Roberts says:

    Beautiful post. I love the pics!

    Liked by 2 people

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