Months ago the pause n’ pour feature on our coffee maker stopped working. I find this extremely annoying and oh, so messy! I’m up, I want coffee immediately. During the school year, we can just set the timer, but I wake at random hours otherwise.
Waiting for coffee, whether it’s brewing, steeping, or heating up, is not my thing. The Mister will often wait til he’s at work to fetch a cup. Of course, he also showers in the morning, so there are many preferences we don’t share.
It was my darling husband who said we should try a percolator. He’s mentioned this several times and with the coffee maker fussing, I went ahead and got one.
Here are the things I like about the percolator:
1. It’s nostalgic. When I see the coffee pop up in the clear handle, I think of my Aunt Irma and am magically transported to a time when I was looking up at her stove top. A sorta sweet childhood-warm kitchen memory thing.
2. No filter required.
The rest of it? Oh fuck no.
Wet the basket, grind the coffee, attempt to get all the coffee grounds into the basket, but not into the tiny hole that will pollute the pot, put the basket on the stick and put the lid on. Heat it, but not too high, then turn it down a bit lower, then let it percolate s’more, then set it elsewhere on the stove to cool, then pour, then wait A BLOODY HOUR for it to cool down enough for a human tongue, then go back for a lukewarm cup, then wash all the little parts and pieces and shine em all up, cause stainless steel.
Another thing on my stove?
A spring that could end up heaven knows where?
No, thank you.
You know what you can do in the time it takes to percolate coffee? You can boil water, steep an entire French press full of coffee, drink its contents down, wash it, dry it, and put it away. I imagine in the time it takes to percolate eight cups of coffee, the coffee maker could brew enough to pour a cup for everyone on the block. Hell, I can do at least 20 pour-overs in that time. I haven’t attempted it yet, but I’d be willing to bet making Turkish coffee is faster as well.
I know in The Mister’s romantic idealization, it probably seemed like a percolator would be a return to simpler times, but again, fuck no.
There’s a long list of stuff we enjoy because we did it as kids — playing cribbage, drinking soda from glass bottles, catching lightning bugs.
Some things are best left in the past, like defrosting the freezer, using the phone book, and percolating coffee.
Happy Friday Everyone!