Brouhaha

Months ago the pause n’ pour feature on our coffee maker stopped working. I find this extremely annoying and oh, so messy! I’m up, I want coffee immediately. During the school year, we can just set the timer, but I wake at random hours otherwise.

coffee11

 

Waiting for coffee, whether it’s brewing, steeping, or heating up, is not my thing. The Mister will often wait til he’s at work to fetch a cup. Of course, he also showers in the morning, so there are many preferences we don’t share.

It was my darling husband who said we should try a percolator. He’s mentioned this several times and with the coffee maker fussing, I went ahead and got one.

Well, Pttthhhhbbbbbbt.
Here are the things I like about the percolator:

1. It’s nostalgic. When I see the coffee pop up in the clear handle, I think of my Aunt Irma and am magically transported to a time when I was looking up at her stove top. A sorta sweet childhood-warm kitchen memory thing.
2. No filter required.

That’s it.

The rest of it? Oh fuck no.

Wet the basket, grind the coffee, attempt to get all the coffee grounds into the basket, but not into the tiny hole that will pollute the pot, put the basket on the stick and put the lid on. Heat it, but not too high, then turn it down a bit lower, then let it percolate s’more, then set it elsewhere on the stove to cool, then pour, then wait A BLOODY HOUR for it to cool down enough for a human tongue, then go back for a lukewarm cup, then wash all the little parts and pieces and shine em all up, cause stainless steel.

Another thing on my stove?

A spring that could end up heaven knows where?

No, thank you.

You know what you can do in the time it takes to percolate coffee? You can boil water, steep an entire French press full of coffee, drink its contents down, wash it, dry it, and put it away. I imagine in the time it takes to percolate eight cups of coffee, the coffee maker could brew enough to pour a cup for everyone on the block. Hell, I can do at least 20 pour-overs in that time. I haven’t attempted it yet, but I’d be willing to bet making Turkish coffee is faster as well.

cafe

I know in The Mister’s romantic idealization, it probably seemed like a percolator would be a return to simpler times, but again, fuck no.

There’s a long list of stuff we enjoy because we did it as kids — playing cribbage, drinking soda from glass bottles, catching lightning bugs.
Some things are best left in the past, like defrosting the freezer, using the phone book, and percolating coffee.

coffee_double

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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94 Responses to Brouhaha

  1. Ritu says:

    Lol! I agree! Nostalgia can make us think certain things were da bomb!… until we try them again and realise just how awful they actually were!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. meANXIETYme says:

    I am not a coffee drinker, so I don’t get the fuss in any direction with beans, grinders, percolators, french press, brew makers…etc. I am, however, impatient, so that part I understand! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  3. takes me back to my grandma sitting in her small & spotless kitchen with the sound of the percolator…and then she would not let it cool down. one of my first cups of coffee (had to sneak being about six) and i still think i can feel the scalding the roof of my mouth took.

    my mother used to leave half full cups of coffee all about the house, sometimes three or four at anyone time (and a habit i picked much to the chagrin of my fellow co-workers). When I was 8 I started to finished the now cold cup of coffee, to which I developed a taste for. The beauty of that is I can make a cup of coffee befoe I go to bed, and then wake up and have a cup of coffee while I brew a new pot.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. larva225 says:

    I’m big time here, yo. I graduated to the K-cup dealies. Of course someone gave me the device because $200…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      While I’m happy you’re happy, I can’t get down with the K-cups.

      Like

      • larva225 says:

        I didn’t think I’d ever be down with it but then some angel from coffee heaven gave me one. If not, I’d still be using my old broken Mr. Coffee with the broken pour feature and a tendency to fill my cup with grounds.

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          Okay, at work or in a waiting room or whatever, it makes sense. But, I’ve been a guest in several homes where the host is sincerely trapped making coffee in K cups for however many people and by the time person #13 has coffee, person #1 is done!
          And my kids are all older. We wanna get up in the morning and not have a line to the Keurig.
          Plus waste, or cleaning out little reusable cup…Four to six visits to the garden a day to dump grounds? No. Just doesn’t fit my life.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. eschudel says:

    Nobody should have to wait for coffee…NOBODY!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t drink much coffee I prefer tea, but I always thought a coffee press would be neat to have for making coffee. I have a friend whose husband makes an excellent cup of pressed coffee. I never pursued getting one because…tea!😍 Plus there seems to be a perfect number of scoops and the roundness of those scoops to water ratio for the perfect cuppa that eludes me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jackcollier7 says:

    Brouhaha is a magical word isn’t it. To get the most benefit and health giving plant anti-oxidants from your coffee, you should always use a French press. So, there you go, ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have to have my coffee in the morning and hate it when out coffee maker breaks down. French press is ok but not the same. Should I mail you one of my double pot coffee makers. I just happen to have an extra one. πŸ˜‰ You are not even talking about an electric percolator but one you have to heat on the stove? You are going back to pioneer days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      You speak the truth about pioneer life! Funny you mention that, because I bought the stove top one thinkin if I hate it, I can always take it camping — so yeah, very pioneer for me!
      I love coffee from the press, but if two of us have two cups, that’s two times to make it, so I prefer the coffee maker in the morning, and the press otherwise. Double pot coffee maker would be awesome, but there’s space to consider, too. I’d probably only use it for company. Even when we all drink coffee, it’s only a pot.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. John Holton says:

    Turkish coffee is boiled in a little pot called a breek (sp?). It’s not all that big.

    My grandfather had this two-gallon coffeepot where he made egg coffee. He’d mix the grounds with an egg or two, fill the pot with water, and set it on to boil. Wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it sounds; the eggs cooks and holds the grounds together. And yeah, we had a really big family that drank a lot of coffee, especially on the holidays, which is when he’d use it. The rest of the time, it was a percolator like you describe.

    You know, they still sell electric percolators, and the coffee is pretty good…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Nope, no percolators for me. This one can go camping! πŸ˜€
      I have read about egg coffee before, and would try it made by someone who was expert with it.
      I bought the Turkish coffee pot, starts with a c, made of copper, but I have not yet attempted it. I still bet it’s faster spoon to tongue to make!

      Like

  10. Maybe that percolator coffee is only better in one’s memory?? My folks had a gas stove with a pilot light. That small aluminum percolator sat on there all day, being refilled as needed, getting thicker by the minute. I could only drink it in the a.m…it got too strong for me, they had to scrape me off the ceiling. We did keep one for camping, worked great.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Much as I love good, strong coffee, I’d be scraped off the ceiling after that stuff your parents made, too!
      Funny you mention camping, that’s why I went with the stove top version instead of the electric. At least now I can camp with coffee without grounds! πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Carrie Rubin says:

    Makes me grateful for my simple teapot. Just fill it, turn the stove on, and wait for the annoying whistle. 😁 (Never been a fan of coffee, though I certainly gave it enough tries when I was younger. Just couldn’t take the taste.)

    Liked by 1 person

  12. JT Twissel says:

    Nothing worse than having to wait for your tea (or coffee or hot chocolate) to cool down when you need that caffeine! Happy Friday to you as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Susan says:

    I rarely drink coffee…and I can’t stop laughing at your tale of woe!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. orbthefirst says:

    Two words:
    Cowboy Coffee.
    Water in a pot, then pour in grounds.
    Carefully (or not) pour a cup at the desired temp.

    I prefer mud tho..your tastes may vary.
    πŸ˜›

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Joanne Sisco says:

    omg Joey, my sister suggested the same thing when we were at The Island together last week. No! on the percolated coffee. It is in the past for a reason. It was really bad coffee .. guaranteed! In the absence of electricity, give me a good old French press any day!!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. ghostmmnc says:

    We used to use a percolater, both stove top, and electric. It was fine for the times. We went through so many Mr. Coffee’s, that kept needing replaced, we now use the Keurig K cups. It’s so fast! I do have a small French Press, but can never get it to taste good. …Oh, did you ever do the ‘saucered and blowed’ deal? My granny always poured the hot perc. coffee, from the cup, into a little tea saucer, then blew on it to cool it down! Good memories of that! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I only recently read about the saucer blowing! No, not done it myself.
      I’m glad you like your Keurig much as I like my press. Imma hafta buy a new maker sooner or later.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Dan Antion says:

    Percolated coffee does taste better. My wife uses her percolator, now and then, but not daily. Not when we have to be somewhere, not for her first cup (she gets up way before me). She was also able to make some coffee on our wood stove when we were without power for lots of days. If I were you, I’d buy a new coffee maker before school starts.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Makes me glad I drink tea. πŸ™‚ And when I do get coffee, it’s a mocha or cappuccino that someone else makes, although while on vacation I may try making a mocha on my own, with the help of some bottled cold brewed coffee. We’ll see how that works. πŸ™‚

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Tea drinkers do have an advantage here. I make cold brew a lot in the summer, and I like it, but not in the morning. I’ve often wondered about getting a coffee faerie… someone to bring me coffee before I even leave the bed. Haven’t seen any on Amazon yet… I sometimes get that, when The Mister is feeling lovey or the girls want somethin, but it’s not consistent enough LIKE MY PAUSE N’ POUR! lol πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  19. loisajay says:

    My Aunt Mae had a percolator–what a memory lane flashback, Joey! We just bought a French Press and are gonna try it this weekend. Husband is then gonna put it with his camping stuff. Is French Press any good? They charge crazy prices for that at the downtown coffee shop.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Yes, in my opinion, French press is the best. But it’s not practical for more than two cups in the morning, since it yields a smaller amount.
      I wish I were there to give you a proper demonstration. Just make sure he doesn’t boil the water too hot and that he grinds the beans coarse. It takes about 10 minutes and it’s worth the wait — all the oils, mmm, antioxidants, mmm πŸ˜›

      Like

  20. I love my coffee to the point where I started to collect coffee “stuff.” From French presses to aero pots to the most beautiful of all, the Chemex. I have it all EXCEPT a percolator. I suppose it would be a good thing collection-wise, but I like to think that I can actually make and drink the coffee from any of my contraptions without a lot of hoopla. I’m not big in the hoopla department. My favorite coffee “maker” is doing a pour-over using a porcelain filter holder. Don’t even get me started on K-cups! I won’t let them grind the coffee for me, I can’t even imagine having my coffee pre-ground and trapped in plastic. I like to think I’m not the only one out there who has coffee control issues. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Erika says:

    So percolators are the dial-up Internet modems of the coffee world.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Benson says:

    Percolators still exist? That’s surprising. Too many years of drinking mediocre restaurant coffee has probably ruined me for “good” coffee. I usually just have one Keurig cup of decaf a day. If I have a second it more than likely is spiked with brandy or Irish cream. Hope you Friday was good. Happy Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I too am having an ongoing conversation with a coffee machine which is not being as obliging as I would like. Grrrr is all I can say but hopefully things will improve

    Liked by 1 person

  24. atticsister says:

    I’m with you there sister! When I want coffee, I want it now, not a half hour later. I’m not prepared to wait that long and go thru that arduous process for nostalgia. I’ll get my dose of nostalgia drinking out of a vintage coffee mug.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I have tea in the mornings it is a damn sight quicker!!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Susanne says:

    Hmm. Guess I won’t be getting a percolator though like you, I have fond memories of it burbling away on the stove. And the smell is heavenly. We have what might be similar in our house. One of those old fashioned Italian espresso makers you set on the stove but it only takes 5 minutes, tops. No tongue damage either. I’m dying to know what next, Joey? How will the household caffeine deficit be managed?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Well, eventually, like it or not, Imma hafta suck it up and buy a new coffee maker. School starts soon and so the timer will help a lot. We’ll see how it goes on weekends.
      I will keep the percolator for camping. It’ll smell better when we’re camping.

      Like

  27. Pingback: Writing Links 7/31/17 – Where Genres Collide

  28. I didn’t even know there were percolators out there. πŸ™‚ Our machine stopped turning itself off so we got a new one – grinds, brews, and keeps it warm in the carafe so I don’t have to worry about the turn off. Got to have good coffee at a moment’s notice or the rest of the world suffers. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Very nice. Eventually, we’re going to have to buy a new maker. *sigh* I do like the idea of a stainless carafe and a built-in grinder…

      Like

  29. kirizar says:

    I am not a coffee drinker, but I have a similar lament about my morning tea. I get up, pour the water in the kettle and settle it to heat on the stove. Then I pour my 1 1/2 spoons–a specialty spoon whose dimensions I cannot identify–of loose tea into a baggie. Then, I get distracted racing to get ready for work, getting the child ready for school/summer camp and rushing in twenty directions at once. At some point, I remember to steep the tea…then over-steep it. Sugar and cream it. Burn my tongue slurping too soon. Leave it to cool…and then forget it on the counter as I race out the door. I pour the stone cold remnants out when I get home. Rinse and repeat.

    Today was a good day. I managed to pour most of it into a thermos and drink it lukewarm at work. Victory!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Our coffee maker has become much slower in its brewing time. I just pretend I’m still asleep until the hubby has it started and I can tell there’s enough brewed to make a cup. πŸ™‚ I’ve heard a lot of good things about making French Press coffee, but that’s not something I’ve tried.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Nostalgia sure is sneaky. In a good way, I suppose. You remember stuff, even people, but only the good bits.

    Apologies for the radio silence from this end. Somehow I managed to unfollow your posts. I figured you might be dealing with stuff and taking a break. I was even ready to send you a PM to ask “OK at your end?” And guess what. You were. Are.

    Happy Tuesday.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Ally Bean says:

    I haven’t had percolated coffee in decades. It tasted bitter to me. I’m happy to read your report on it– and learn that I’m not missing a thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Bahhaha. Uncle’s fridge is fully frozen and I make Turkish coffee. Let’s see: I put about two (big) cups of coffee in my express heater and wait for a minute or two to boil. Then I pour it into my dΕΎezva (Bosnian-type pot) and put it on the fire to boil again (which is more or less immediately). Then I add a spoonful of sugar for the entire pot and 9 spoonfuls of (Slovenian) Barcaffe black ground coffee. I mix, strike the bottom of the pot with the spoon to help it settle, and put it on the fire again for it to rise twice. If I’m not fast, it boils over. There is no filter anywhere so I should wait a bit but I don’t care and pour it into my nice big cup and add milk. (I know, not really Turkish with milk, but fokk it, I like it.) I drink one cup for several hours. Then it’s time for the second half. I don’t make any more coffee in the day. Preparation time until I can drink it: max 5 minutes. Amore drinks (Italian) coffee from his cafetiera. I don’t know if this is the same as your percolator. There is a special Neapolitan cafetiera and he had the idea to buy it for me and relieve me from my style. Even though I appreciated his concern, the (same, my) coffee that came out of it tasted completely differently.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Very nice.
      Your amore’s cafetiere is what we call a French press, which is also my preferred coffee delivery system. (If only someone would do it as I wake!) I generally only do that in the evening.
      It’s good to know how you make your Turkish coffee. It will take me some time to do it just so, I’m sure. I may try it this weekend. AT MY LEISURE, having already brewed some πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, you will? Do you have the dΕΎezva and black coffee? You might go easy on the quantity, I use a large pot, the real dΕΎezva is so tiny and delivers those little shots of coffee. For it you need about 6 spoonfuls, I’d say.

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          I have coffee out the yin yang, and I bought a Turkish coffee pot, the copper dooji, but it’s a word I don’t know, like dzezva, but it’s a c-word. There was another blogger who recommended it to me a few weeks ago.

          Liked by 1 person

  34. Hold up – you don’t defrost your freezer? Do I have a crappy freezer? Do I need a new freezer? What is this freezer voodoo?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Um, no, most freezers here don’t need to be defrosted. It’s odd, but I’ve asked my husband and we don’t know why exactly, but for about the last twenty years, the freezers are all “frost-free.”
      Now, if one has an older freezer, as we did about ten years ago, then defrosting is still a thing.

      Like

  35. reocochran says:

    I think this is a fantastic post full of vim, vigor and a rant! Oh, how upset I was when I broke my old glass coffee pot. I know there may be a website to order a new one but still need it now. Not then.
    I bought a Mr Coffee smaller coffee maker. Nope, it is not the same. Arggh.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I have ordered TWO glass carafes for this same coffee pot. Sassy broke the first one and I broke the next one! I did pour overs and pressed coffee while I waited. :/
      The Mister says he’s going to see if he can replace the spring in ours, maybe get the pause and pour to work right again. *crosses fingers*

      Like

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