No one is teaching the children anything.
Including me. Apparently.
Things I knew by the time I was 15, 16 — well, it’s not fair to compare, because my own mother would tell you I raised myself. I didn’t really. I had a village like everyone else. I grant you my village was a motley crew. Still, what other village could have turned this out? I’m a highly impressionable person, naturally curious, keen on learnin — show me once, I’ve probably got it.
Unless there are numbers. I just paid for a thing and I think she should charge me the amount. I don’t want to see all the math: charges, discounts, taxes. In fact, I’d much prefer she take my card number and pay herself every month instead. Although that would probably be uncomfortable for her, would it be any more uncomfortable than it is for me to reach behind my head and grab my handbag?
So yeah, not with numbers, like when you’re buying the food for an event and you have more bananas than you can shake a banana at, and you realize, at the ripe old age of 45 that you truly assumed there were always 5 bananas in every bunch, but there are not. Banana bunches are not pressed out on an assembly line and your banana count will vary accordingly. You may not count 5-10-15-20-25-30 and head to blueberries, you must actually count the bananas. Sassy said we’re the people in story problems.
“If Joey has 22 bananas and she needs 8 more bananas, how many bananas…”
This is not about the heaping abyss of what I still don’t even know I don’t know, it’s about what the kids don’t know.
I have failed my children.
After we had gone to bed, after I had begun the nice sleeping, Sassy came to my side of the bed and asked about going on a date today or tonight, somethin, I don’t know, this is never the best time to engage my brain, because mean mouth takes over when I sleep. I know whatever I rambled ended with “No date tomorrow! No! You can ask Daddy in the morning, but it’s a no from me. No date!”
Now, perhaps I’ve also failed to demonstrate proper timing or being inaccessible to tedium, as I am always, always, always the parent who is awakened in the night. Daddy might wake and put me in a choke hold thinking I’m the enemy, but Mama will help me. Rather than blame my clear lack of military training, I blame my face.
This morning when The Mister was off to collect Sassy, I asked him if he knew that child had come into our room in the middle of the night and asked about a date today and he said no. I asked if she brought it up to him and he said, “Yes. She seemed to have a hard time understanding why we’d be home.”
Then, when Moo ambled out into the living room, she stopped startled when she saw me, and asked, “Why are you home?”
“It’s a holiday.”
“Hm,” she said when this registered.
What if there’s something really important I’ve neglected to teach them? Yes, yes, I’ll tell them about the bananas, but what if this is a warning?!?
What else might they not know? Enlighten us with your wisdom.