They Don’t Even Know

No one is teaching the children anything.
Including me. Apparently.

Things I knew by the time I was 15, 16 — well, it’s not fair to compare, because my own mother would tell you I raised myself. I didn’t really. I had a village like everyone else. I grant you my village was a motley crew. Still, what other village could have turned this out? I’m a highly impressionable person, naturally curious, keen on learnin — show me once, I’ve probably got it.

Unless there are numbers. I just paid for a thing and I think she should charge me the amount. I don’t want to see all the math: charges, discounts, taxes. In fact, I’d much prefer she take my card number and pay herself every month instead. Although that would probably be uncomfortable for her, would it be any more uncomfortable than it is for me to reach behind my head and grab my handbag?

So yeah, not with numbers, like when you’re buying the food for an event and you have more bananas than you can shake a banana at, and you realize, at the ripe old age of 45 that you truly assumed there were always 5 bananas in every bunch, but there are not. Banana bunches are not pressed out on an assembly line and your banana count will vary accordingly. You may not count 5-10-15-20-25-30 and head to blueberries, you must actually count the bananas. Sassy said we’re the people in story problems.

“If Joey has 22 bananas and she needs 8 more bananas, how many bananas…”

This is not about the heaping abyss of what I still don’t even know I don’t know, it’s about what the kids don’t know.

I have failed my children.

r&m christmas dresses

i’ve had so many years to teach them…

After we had gone to bed, after I had begun the nice sleeping, Sassy came to my side of the bed and asked about going on a date today or tonight, somethin, I don’t know, this is never the best time to engage my brain, because mean mouth takes over when I sleep. I know whatever I rambled ended with “No date tomorrow! No! You can ask Daddy in the morning, but it’s a no from me. No date!”

Now, perhaps I’ve also failed to demonstrate proper timing or being inaccessible to tedium, as I am always, always, always the parent who is awakened in the night. Daddy might wake and put me in a choke hold thinking I’m the enemy, but Mama will help me.ย Rather than blame my clear lack of military training, I blame my face.

This morning when The Mister was off to collect Sassy, I asked him if he knew that child had come into our room in the middle of the night and asked about a date today and he said no. I asked if she brought it up to him and he said, “Yes. She seemed to have a hard time understanding why we’d be home.”

Then, when Moo ambled out into the living room, she stopped startled when she saw me, and asked, “Why are you home?”
“It’s a holiday.”
“Hm,” she said when this registered.

What if there’s something really important I’ve neglected to teach them? Yes, yes, I’ll tell them about the bananas, but what if this is a warning?!?

What else might they not know? Enlighten us with your wisdom.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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46 Responses to They Don’t Even Know

  1. I have no idea.
    But I do know that if you have 22 bananas? Itโ€™s time for banana daiquiris!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Dan Antion says:

    When is the right time to ask mom something is pretty a important thing to know. Personally, I might put it ahead of bananas. I may start substituting you and maybe Mary in word problems. If Joey is on a train leaving Indianapolis at 60 mph snd Mary is on a train leaving Green Bay st 85 mph… maybe Iโ€™ll save that for a Monday post.

    I donโ€™t think youโ€™ve failed your kids. Youโ€™re only obligated to carry the pail so far.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I suppose we all have our dessert/Kanga/banana/Bonjour moments, but oy!
      If Joey is on a train and Mary is on a train, they’re probably gonna meet up in Chicago for merriment! ๐Ÿ™‚ I like that!

      Like

  3. loisajay says:

    They don’t teach cursive to kids any more–cause they don’t need to know how to write. OMG. I didn’t know that. One of the ‘younger’ people in my department told me this. I was amazed. And horrified. She was very matter of fact about it, though. Made sense to her. And don’t get me started with numbers. Third child is a CPA. No idea how that happened…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So many things they taught themselves, so many things they didn’t learn. I put the nagging cutoff at 25: when they were a quarter century old, I figured they could teach themselves. And they have, mostly. And it’s a lot easier for me, who is rapidly becoming obsolete. If they want advice, they can ask for it.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. JT Twissel says:

    I only count bananas when I’m trying to fall asleep. : ) Happy New Year Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You haven’t failed your children, Darlin’. It’s OK to be human. It’s OK to be groucha. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed. And it’s OK to say no to your daughter sometimes. Saying yes ALL the time is not so good either. Ah but what do I know. I do know bananas do come in different size butchers. Happy New Year, Joey!! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

  7. orbthefirst says:

    The way I got it figured is that kids dont need to be taught cursive because keyboards arent in cursive. After that, it baffles me sometimes what kids (read: anyone under 25) just dont know these days. But they know when theyre offended!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Valid. My son is not this way, I dunno bout Sissy. Prolly not. Tender lil group. Moo is in the group of people who think Baby It’s Cold Outside is creepy af. She’s fairly PC for our clan. I dunno. Maybe that’s her rebellion.
      I’ll grant you keyboard skills are THE most crucial, but so much illiteracy of cursive cannot be good.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Bill says:

    Thinking back, I recall that our kids always asked Mom first. She was more likely to say no. Eventually, I would respond, “Whatever your mother said.” I got such looks.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Banana bread. Teach baking. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it’s a mistake to just say, as many do, that you can look everything up now, so no need to memorize. What if there’s an outage, an EMP attack, your computer dies? How do you sign checks if you don’t know cursive? Sigh.

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      You’re right about Googling and YouTube — sometimes not so great results, either. I know some adults who’ve been accosted by the failure of online recipes. My kids all bake. Sassy’s more a cookie person, Moo bakes breads best, Bubba does lovely scones, Sissy does it all, is studying to be a pastry chef… They all write cursive. I don’t even think young people HAVE checks. We only wrote about half a dozen last year, endorsed fewer than that.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. JoAnna says:

    I heard two people say in the past month that they don’t like bananas. It’s a texture thing I think, and I don’t get it. Bananas are wonderful. We take them for granted like moms. One thing I know from reading your blog is that you are an exceptionally good mom. You’re teaching them all kinds of important stuff including stuff about reality and having a sense of humor just to name a couple.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Amy says:

    I love math, but when I was little I had the hardest time understanding money. My mom used to play store with me. Sometimes I was the cashier and sometimes the shopper. It worked wonders. Word problems…those have always been my nemesis. I think I could work them out now since they represent real world scenarios. Sometimes I think various maths are taught to early. But what do I know… I have a 9th grader in Algebra II, which wasn’t even an option until I was a Junior.
    Also…never, ever ask sleeping mom’s questions. You usually won’t like the answers. lol. I’m not sure my three can keep track of National holidays either. It becomes even more confusing when it’s a holiday and yet school is in session.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Bubba had a hard time with money, too. Second grade money. One of my eled teacher friends got us teaching him as money = fractions and that was all it took for him. Very sweet that your mom played shop to get you to learn โค Very sweet.
      The only thing I could think is that they are ALWAYS home NYD. Always, cause break. I dunno.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m a dinosaur. I appreciate a nice cursive signature, and my super power is that I can add, subtract and multiply in my head. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  13. LindaGHill says:

    They might not know that this could, potentially, be your first post for Just Jot it January … ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  14. markbialczak says:

    Not knowing when youโ€™ll be home when they schedule a stay-in date could be a good thing, Joey. Hmmmm.
    Happy New Year to you, The Mister and all those learning kids!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. My first thought echoes Mark up above. As for bananas, it would be convenient if they grew in exact measurements, like one cup. But, bananas are rebels, they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Benson says:

    I would have been afraid to wake up any parent in the middle of the night. Do it in the morning after coffee or at dinner time with everyone present. Of course I said no to most of the things my boys asked me. On the other hand I was heavy in math.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. marianallen says:

    Whenever us old folks decide to take over the universe, we can send each other sekrit messidges in cursive with all the words spelled out.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Anxious Mom says:

    The girl is only 4, but I really wish she’d learn to stop asking me for things when I’m in the shower or bathtub. Like, no, I cannot pour you a glass of milk or play superheros with you when I am naked and emerged in water and stuff, GO GET YOUR DAD.

    Some kids don’t know how to ask adults that aren’t their relatives for things. I noticed that in restaurants before, kids that are plenty old enough just can’t go up and ask for a refill or something. They just stand there. That’s been a thing for us, making the boy do that and making the girl order her food at places, asking questions as needed. I don’t remember being taught that stuff, but I noticed it with this generation of kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      That was something we had to work at and encourage with Bubba and Moo, too. You’re absolutely right, it’s a problem. Asserting themselves is VERY important. Keep at it!

      As for the tubby thing, which may as well be “Oh, Daddy can do things, too?” that’s not anything I’ve had success with. LOL!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Anxious Mom says:

        Seriously, my husband was in the kitchen earlier, and the girl came in to ask ME for milk while I was working on the computer. I’m like, you know he’s in there, because you went in there to a) get your cup and b) get the gallon of milk out of the fridge.

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          Yeah. That’s a thing. My son is 25 and he will still come to me when he wants/needs and then I talk to his father and then… but honestly, as they get older, it’s more of a gift than a curse. Promise. โค

          Liked by 1 person

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