I learned how to make swate tay from Beauty Queen, who is a real Southerner. I know other Southerners make their sweet tea differently, but they’ll need to write that shit on their own blogs. In the South, you can find proper sweet tea anywhere — seems even the Japanese restaurants have hired a true Southerner to come in and show them how to make it.
McDonald’s is your best bet, because theirs tastes like mine. *winks*
If you’re above the Mason-Dixon line, you’re prolly outta luck, like me.
Your McDonald’s says they have sweet tea, but what they actually have is sweetened tea.
NOT THE SAME.
Sweet tea is strong, thick, and rich in color. You cannot see through a glass of sweet tea. After a glass of sweet tea, you will need a toothbrush, to remove, as Beauty Queen says “the granny sweaters from your teeth.”
If your mouth doesn’t feel like it’s covered in a film of sweaters knitted by tiny invisible grandmothers, you have not had sweet tea.
I can’t make sweet tea here, because there is no room for the pitcher in MIL’s super special refrigerator. We’ve bought several different brands of sweet tea, only to be disappointed. When we dine out, The Mister asks servers specifically how the tea is brewed, and seldom orders any.
Place after place, brand after brand — our dreams of true sweet tea are crushed.
You can make sweet tea in my honor, yes-oui?
You will need:
at least a 10-cup coffee pot
(any 12-cup coffee pot will do)
(you can buy a pretty one for when company’s comin, but if you’re doin it right, you’ll want one of these cheapies, because that pitcher’s gonna be stained FOREVER, and those pretty glass ones won’t look so clean once they’re half empty…)
(enough ice to fill the pitcher to seven-eighths full)
Luzianne Family Sized Tea Bags
(decaf for me, thanks)
(three-to-four cups…yes, three-to-four cups)
Put three tea bags in the coffee basket, where you would normally put the coffee. Make sure there is no coffee in there, because that ain’t right.
Put ten cups of water into the coffee pot’s water reserve, where you would normally put the water.
When the tea is done, fill the pitcher about seven-eighths of the way with ice. Do not do this before the tea is brewed, or your ice will melt and the cubes will commence to stickin together. *tsks*
Pour those three-to-four cups of sugar over the ice.
Pour the hot tea over the ice and sugar.
Stir it like it’s cement, for as long as your arm can stand it, cause it’s thick like that.
Pour and enjoy!
(Then go brush your teeth)